Gosh, women often find it so hard to value their own desires that it hurts. See the following question asked by a pretty brilliant woman*:
At some point, I have to consider the possibility that I’m the one who causes all the problems in the (potential) relationship. There is absolutely no reason not to like Nice Guy; we can talk for hours, he is more than interested in me, we have so many things in common that I’m constantly surprised – so what’s wrong with me that I don’t feel anything when we’re together – not aversion, not excitement, not boredom, not anticipation, not anything.
It’s so sad to read this “what’s wrong with me.” Nothing, dear female blogger. Nothing is wrong with you. None of the things you list are “a reason” to feel anything for a guy. You simply don’t want him, that’s all. There is this thing women have, called a sexuality. Contrary to what you must have heard on TV, it doesn’t get switched on by a man’s nice qualities, his interest in you, his choice of conversation topics, his niceness, and the amount of things you have in common.
Since the post was published in open access, I feel entitled to offer some unsolicited advice: dump the sexual losers you call friends and who try to convince you there is something wrong with you and your independence and start listening to your desire. It will probably lead you away from great conversationalists you don’t want sexually. But there will be plenty of excitement and anticipation.
It’s sad to see how many women drive a bulldozer over their sexuality for absolutely no discernible reason whatsoever.
P.S. I have no idea why this old post appeared in my blogroll yesterday. But it doesn’t matter because it’s very representative of a huge trend in women’s attitudes towards their sexuality.