Finally, a Normal Father
All of the men I know in RL (colleagues, friends, relatives) are phenomenal fathers. This is why it bothers me to see that the blogosphere is inundated with seemingly intelligent, progressive people who nevertheless seem to believe that parenting is something that does not concern fathers.
Now that I have read the following post, however, I feel better:
After almost four months of being a parent I am under the impression that any left-wing heterosexual man who is able to keep his involvement in political work the same as it was before becoming a father for the first year of his child’s existence is someone who is not approaching child-care in an equitable manner. Those men who continue organizing in the same manner as they did before their child was born are those men whose parenthood is dependent on the gendered division of labour––fathers who assume that the mothers will do most of the work and can persist as political subjects while their counterparts are relegated to the private sphere. . . I want my child to grow up with parents who provide her with a progressive model of gender dynamics and so I need to demonstrate this model in practice. A dad who talks about gender equity should be a dad who spends as much time as possible sharing domestic work.
This is SO true. I have seen crowds of men who blab endlessly about gender equality at meetings without giving a second thought to their isolated and beaten-down female partners who are making this meeting-going possible for them by assuming every duty of parenting. It is very good to see a male blogger and a father who is not oblivious to the basic hypocrisy of such a position. Of course, a big part of the credit should go to his female partner who is not excluding him from child-care.
These folks will raise one happy, normal girl with a healthy vision of gender roles who will never allow anybody relegate her to the private sphere as if she were a servant.