“Multiculturalism,” Zygmunt Bauman writes in his recent book Culture in a Liquid Modern World, “acts as a socially conservative force. Its achievement is the transformation of social inequality, a phenomenon highly unlikely to win general approval, into the guise of ‘cultural diversity’, that is to say, a phenomenon deserving of universal respect and careful cultivation.”

I always found it fascinating how people convince themselves that the profund dismissiveness and contempt towards other cultures that multiculturalism conceals are somehow progressive. In reality, the result of multi-culturalism is always hatred, animosity, barbarity, and suffering for everybody involved. Except the politicians who advance this concept, of course.

Some people are going completely bonkers with this idea that students need to be policed to prevent them from using technology in the classroom. It has been suggested that we get the students to sign a contract (WTF?) at the beginning of the semester where they would promise not to turn on their cell phones and other devices and would agree to any penalties that will be given to them as a result of breaking this contract.

It has also been suggested that we make the students remove their cell phones and laptops and leave them at the front of the classroom.

What’s next, searching their  pockets and personal belongings before letting them enter the classroom?

And then people wonder why students don’t respect them. You can’t earn respect by acting in such a desperate, pathetic way. You can only earn respect by respecting both the students and yourself.

I especially love it how often my colleagues complain about the students’ immaturity. How can we expect them to act maturely if we treat them like infants?

And you know what I find really confusing? If a person chooses for whatever reason to pay good money to hear your lectures yet decides that updating her Facebook or emailing his friends is more important than getting his or her money’s worth, why should you care? This last semester I had a student who knew she was failing the course from the start yet chose to spend the entire semester staring at her laptop screen. As a result, she failed the course. This was her choice and she is now living with its consequences, which is an important life lesson. Why should I have demeaned myself in front of the entire classroom and turned myself into a nursery teacher just in order to get between this woman and her choice to fail?

P.S. Now a colleague has joined the discussion with a complaint against faculty members who use cell phones during meetings and official ceremonies. I wish people realized that this desire to police the actions of others is nothing but a manifestation of repressed rage.

I finally accessed work email and discovered that my colleagues are eagerly discussing the possibility to create dead zones for the wireless Internet connection in our classrooms.

It is sad to see that people are so incapable of making their teaching interesting enough to compete with Facebook and have to resort to these measures that declare their impotence as educators very openly.

In my own courses, I prefer that the wireless should always be available. Students can look up words in online dictionaries easily, they have no excuse to avoid using synonyms, there is no endless, “I left my dictionary at home, so I can’t discuss the reading.” What’s not to like?

And I’m really not afraid of competing with Twitter and Facebook. I know how to be more  engaging and if I fail, then I will have nobody to blame but myself.

Another drama-queenish article that blames people who are not 100% willing to be co-dependent with depressives:

But my story isn’t just for them. It’s for the father who doesn’t understand why his daughter is so miserable. Why won’t she just snap out of it? Her kids are healthy, she’s got a roof over her head, she’s got friends. What reason does she have for being so sad? She’s being ridiculous.

No, not ridiculous. She is being horribly and cruelly abusive to her helpless children who are convinced they are to blame for Mommy’s incapacitated state. The father should call the social services immediately and sue for custody.

It’s for the son who gets together with his friends and tells stories about his crazy mother. She’s never happy and sleeps all day. She hasn’t showered in a week. He’s tired of her bullshit. Doesn’t she know how embarrassing she is? Pull it together already.

It’s a great thing that the son is healthy enough not to feel guilty for Mommy’s drama and doesn’t let her manipulate himself into feeling responsible for this. Unfortunately, most children of these manipulators are too damaged to call their bullshit.

It’s for the husband who comes home from work and finds his wife curled up on the couch unable to speak, unable to unwind her body from the fetal position. All she has to do is look after the kids all day. It’s not like she has to meet a deadline at the office. If she had to sit through his commute then maybe he could understand. What is it with her?

She’s just bored and needs to be put to work immediately. The husband would be well-served by telling her to start working at a job immediately or he would call the social services and sue for custody. Adults can play these co-dependent games all they want but doing this to children is simply disgusting.

I’ve written about my struggle so that maybe you will understand that your daughter, your mother, your wife… they aren’t being ridiculous.

No, not ridiculous. Just manipulative.

They are suffering. They are in pain.

That’s no reason to make others suffer. “Lookee here, I’ve got a boo-boo, now forget your own needs and tend to mine” is not a position worthy of respect in n adult.

They are struggling with a sense of doom so overwhelming that they cannot see anything beyond it. It is real and it is awful.

This lack of self-awareness is really shocking. You can’t see anything beyond the doom, yet you manage to notice everybody who dares not to worship at the altar of your all-important drama.

And they need help.

The delusion that anybody other than a qualified specialist can “help” is both dangerous and really ridiculous.

In case people are wondering why this bugs me so much, I’m willing to share that somebody tried manipulating me into being his depression co-dependent in precisely this manner. I was young and foolish, and I even bought this spiel for a while. This is why I can tell you today: don’t buy into this performance. It will continue only for as long as there are spectators. Don’t be one of them.

Also, there is something very curious in this article. Please note the gender of the depressives in all of these stories and the gender of the people who refuse to play their co-dependent game. In case you are wondering who constructs womanhood as always equal to victimhood, here is your answer.

To answer the post’s title question, the only way you can help a depressed person if you are not a qualified healthcare provider is by refusing to participate in this kind of self-manifestation. Co-dependence might feel sweet at first but it will destroy you. So just say no.