Hilarious Links Encyclopedia

For some reason, I only collected really hilarious stories this week. Check them out if you need some laughs to start the week:

Here is a post where adult people seriously discuss whether men need sex more than women. The funniest part is that the post is  written by a sex educator.

And if you haven’t had enough of ridiculous sexist stereotypes, read more “sex ed tips” from the same author.

Just about anyone who’s gotten a Ph.D. has to have been strongly internally motivated; you don’t spend five to ten years writing a dissertation and foregoing other opportunities if you don’t care intensely about your work.” It is beautiful to see such naive and innocent people.

This article reexamines the living arrangements of children following their parents’ divorce, using Wisconsin Court Records, updating an analysis that showed relatively small but significant increases in shared custody in the late 1980s and early 1990s. These changes have accelerated markedly in the intervening years: between 1988 and 2008, the proportion of mothers granted sole physical custody fell substantially, the proportion of parents sharing custody increased dramatically, and father–sole custody remained relatively stable.” Isn’t it funny how the brainless MRAs keep chirping about parental rights without even paying attention to what is going on in the world?

A funny bumper-sticker.

Italian intellectuals up in arms over hotel named after Antonio Gramsci.”

A hilarious story of a “Liberal” discovering how hard it is to put his money where his mouth is.

Justifying the takeover of broadcast rights, Kirchner stood beside soccer legend Diego Maradona in 2009 and accused the private sector of “kidnapping goals” from viewers the way the 1976-1983 military dictatorship kidnapped and tortured thousands of Argentines. “I don’t want a society of kidnappings anymore,” Kirchner said.

A really stupid article by the perennially brain-dean Maureen Dowd. Now she is in the business of counting other people’s money and seething with resentment.

This has got to be the worst post I have ever read on higher ed. I mean, they all suck but this one is just something special. Talk about forced metaphors. The post is signed by a provost, which in itself tells us everything we need to know about the arrant idiocy of the author.

Zoo animals haven’t had every ounce of added value squeezed out of them. Until now.

This is a post that uses an expression “an effective thin ally to fat people.” You can gauge its entertainment potential just from that.

The Dalai Lama says that western women will save the world. That is a lot to ask of us, especially since we have a barrage of criticism being leveled at us all the time. We’re too rich or too poor, barren or breeders, pushy or lazy, prudish or promiscuous. Does the world deserve our help?” No, absolutely not. I say, we should all emigrate to a different galaxy where nobody will dare criticize us in our perfection.

Apple’s clear discomfort with women’s bodies seems to be bordering on intentional. I mean, I can hardly believe such a blatant double standard got through in the engraving case–you’re creating a list of words that get flagged as inappropriate, how do you not notice that vagina is on there and penis is not?” If the author of the article actually met some programmers, she’d know why they are unaware of the existence of vaginas.

Leena Mccall’s painting, Portrait of Ms Ruby May, was removed by the Mall Galleries in London from its Society of Women Artists’s annual exhibition. The gallery did not consult the Society, which selected the works to display. The gallery reportedly says that the move “protected” “children and vulnerable adults.” I stared at the painting for 10 minutes, trying to imagine those “unprotected children and vulnerable adults.” I highly recommend this pastime; it’s fun.

I have no idea what this endless freakout is about but it sounds funny as hell.

And the winner of the “Most Hilariously Idiotic Post Ever” contest is the following: “When confronted with criticism from immigrants, white Americans will often nonsensically retort, “If you hate America so much, go back to where you came from!” with the intention of forcing an admission that the place in question is worse. But what they neglect, as expected, is to apply that segregative logic evenly: I might not have minded returning to where I came from, if you hadn’t destroyed it. why, after all, is it worse?” Yes, indeed, why can life anywhere possibly suck? It just has to be the fault of the Americans. The post reminded me of this true and hilarious story.

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The Russian Unraveling

About 40 million people in Russia will soon lose their access to free healthcare.

Who wants to bet that these very people will support Putin more passionately than ever?

Today, Russia’s main TV channel showed an interview with a woman who claimed to be from the recently liberated Ukrainian city of Slovyansk (the woman later turned out to be severely mentally ill) and who shared a blood-curdling story of Ukrainian soldiers crucifying a small boy in the main square of the city in front of a huge crowd. No explanation as to why Ukrainian soldiers would engage in such an activity was offered. Journalists from Ukraine and Russia have been interviewing every inhabitant of Slovyansk they could encounter since the story aired but haven’t found anybody who saw anything of the kind.

The story is very useful, though. Who will worry about something as trivial as healthcare benefits when kindly Uncle Putin is protecting little kids from being eaten by mean Ukrainian soldiers?

Emotional Rollercoaster

Argentina’s Cristina Fernandez signed a treaty with Putin and expressed a “strong desire” for a deeper relationship with Russia.

I now feel great these losers lost the World Cup.

92:45

The commentator says, “This must be disappointing from the Argentinean point of view.”

Who else’s point of view is there? The whole world is rooting for Argentina!

46:54

I’m the most considerate wife in the universe. My husband fell asleep during the World Cup final, so I now yell in my head and jump up very quietly. Which isn’t easy for a person of my natural graces.

30:24

I will never forgive my handyman for calling right when Argentina scored. Maybe it’s just as well if it was an offside anyway.

21:58

Germans are definitely the champions in falling down beautifully and wriggling in pain convincingly.

12:26

The speed of the Germans is about twice the speed of Argentineans. And that’s not good.