Instead of thanking this caring teacher for picking up her slack, this miserable excuse for a mother who didn’t even manage to teach her daughter about contraception reported the teacher to the police:
A high school girls basketball coach is facing a felony charge for giving a “morning-after pill” to a student who was worried that she was pregnant, according to an arrest affidavit released today. . . Steinberg, who also was a math teacher at LBJ, gave the pill to a 16-year-old student who was crying in her class about Jan. 26 because she had unprotected sex with her boyfriend, the affidavit said. . . The girl then reported the incident to her mother, who reported it to school police, the affidavit said. Soon after, Steinberg was placed on administrative leave with pay, pending an investigation and subsequently resigned, the affidavit said.
The only conclusion one can draw from the story that one should be the kind of teacher who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about students. Because if you do, parents who think they should have the right to police their children’s bodies will pillory you.
A woman I know once left on vacation. At that point, her teenage daughter discovered that she was pregnant by a boyfriend who abused her. Since this was happening in a civilized country, the girl immediately went to see her high-school principal. Since the principal was a civilized, compassionate person, she discussed the girl’s options with her, listened when the girl said that she was completely sure that she wanted to terminate, and helped the girl to arrange an abortion. Since the girl’s mother was also a normal, civilized person, when she came home and learned about what happened, she felt intense gratitude towards the principal who had helped her daughter at a difficult time.
This is how normal, civilized people behave in such situations. But we obviously can’t expect Texas to understand what it means to be normal and civilized.
Clarissa's Blog 
Fascists don’t like you helping them, because gentleness and caring are a sign of weakness. We have many unconscious fascists among us. I had an experience with the a while back. You try to understand the worldview or philosophy they are trying to put across, and later you find they don’t have a coherent worldview or any kind of self-consistent philosophy and they are mad at you for trying to understand them.
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” You try to understand the worldview or philosophy they are trying to put across, and later you find they don’t have a coherent worldview or any kind of self-consistent philosophy and they are mad at you for trying to understand them.”
– Exactly! There are many people who are not guided by any consistent principles and just act on some vague feelings that cause them some inexplicable anxieties.
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Nope, sorry, he overstepped his bounds. WAY OVER………..
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What if he had given her an aspirin?
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If he didnt consult a medical professional and he doesnt have a clue about the child/adolescents health history then he WAY OVER STEPPED his bounds. Legalities aside it is not a smart move on any level other than his emotional one.
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The girl in question decided that the wanted the pill. Nobody stuffed it down her throat. It should be her decision how to address her own reproductive issues.
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Bless that teacher. And bless the teachers I had in high school who did many similar acts of secret kindness to me and my classmates.
When you’re a minor, with no independent rights, and have parents who don’t have your best interests at heart, a teacher who’s not afraid to step over boundaries is a hero.
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This is what I think, too.
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“Bless that teacher. And bless the teachers I had in high school who did many similar acts of secret kindness to me and my classmates.
When you’re a minor, with no independent rights, and have parents who don’t have your best interests at heart, a teacher who’s not afraid to step over boundaries is a hero.”
This is what I think too, although given the response of the parent, I believe that teachers like this will become increasingly less willing to place themselves at risk. I feel for the girl. These situations are one of many reasons why I didn’t want to become a teacher as they were all too common–dealing with incompetent parents.
Unfortunately, parenting all too frequently appears to be all about the parent and their needs/issues, not at all about what is in the best interests of the child. Very sad.
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Then she should be mature enough to consult a health professional rather than putting a good teachers career at risk. I cant believe you are overlooking all the clearly stupid decisions that have been made because of lack of impulse control.
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You think that stupid people with poor impulse control should not be able to make decisions about what happens inside their own bodies?
“Then she should be mature enough to consult a health professional rather than putting a good teachers career at risk.”
– Ideally, she would not be having unprotected sex at all, but what’s the point of wishing for that after the fact?
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One mistake compounded and now the teacher loses their job. Guess who gets the consequence for their poor decision? I will give you two cracks at that one.
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And if the teacher hadn’t done this? The poor girl would possibly be saddled with an unwanted baby because of her parents horrible poltical beliefs. I wouldn’t dispense any mediciine myself because of self-interest. But this teacher did an invaluable service for the student. S/he didn’t force the student to take Plan B–merely made it an option. And now the teacher is facing an inverstigation and lost his/her job???!!! That’s insane and very very sad. Between the homeschooling trend, and the “attachment parenting” trend, and the insane anti-Plan B stories that Clarissa has been posting lately, I am getting really disgusted by modern day parenting. (And yes: I understand that parenting in the past had it’s problems too. I am against corporal punishment for what it’s worth….)
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” I wouldn’t dispense any mediciine myself because of self-interest. But this teacher did an invaluable service for the student. ”
– I wouldn’t either because I don’t care enough. This is why admire this teacher.
At my previous school, we were told that we were not allowed to go with students to a coffee-shop or restaurant to practice Spanish because we could be sued if something bad happened (like if a student ate something bad and got sick). So we discontinued that beautiful, long-standing tradition because of this fear of possible legal consequences. And I find that to be just sad.
“Between the homeschooling trend, and the “attachment parenting” trend, and the insane anti-Plan B stories that Clarissa has been posting lately, I am getting really disgusted by modern day parenting. ”
– I know. . . I’ll try to look for some positive stories in the future because this is, indeed, turning depressing.
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“At my previous school, we were told that we were not allowed to go with students to a coffee-shop or restaurant to practice Spanish because we could be sued if something bad happened (like if a student ate something bad and got sick).”
That is indeed very sad. What more wonderful and natural way to learn a language than to spend time conversing at a lovely cafe?
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Also: teenagers have poor impulse control. Comes with the territory of being young. I was MUCH more impulsive and less careful when I was in high school. However, this shouldn’t mean that the poor young woman should have the rest of her life affected because of one moment of poor impulse control. We don’t know her story: maybe she got carried away in a moment of adolescent passion; maybe she felt pressured to have sex; maybe she was raped and too embarassed to say; maybe she was experiencing the joy of sex and simply forgot. Whatever the reason, she doesn’t deserve to have her life turned upside down because her parents don’t believe in the morning after pill. True, she might have taken herself to a health care professional. But I think that some states require a parental signature before they dispense the medication. (I could be wrong about that….) But if so, then the young woman didn’t have many other optons available to her and went to a teacher she trusted. Or maybe,because of her parents, she quite simply didn’t know what to do. And the teacher helped her…to his/her own detriment.
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I’m very shocked that the mother’s first impulse would be to involve the police. This immediately turns her daughter’s private drama into a huge public event. And for what? The pill has been taken already, you can’t untake it. What goal was this mother pursuing, I wonder?
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My reference to impulse control was more for the teacher.
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You see a person crying and asking for medication. Is the impulse to help such a person and give them the medicine such a bad one? Are people who think, “Ah, to hell with it, who needs all that trouble?” (people like me, that is) morally better?
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So you think that parents have the ultimate “say” in what happens to a teenage girl if she gets pregnant? Adolecent women can’t get help from anyone else other than a parent? Even if the parent categorically refuses to help her achieve her own decision ……………Also, I’m just guesisng here. But I highly doubt that the teacher was acting from an “impulsive” decision. It was a career-ending decision. And one that the teacher probably knew was fraught with risk. I would guess that the teacher thoguht long and hard about what to do and went with the most compassionate decision possible.
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Taking someone off life support is also a “compassionate” decision. But as we all know, one that is fraught potential problems.
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Were not talking a “skinned knee” and here is some mild pain med. Ah, damn, youre right, just give her the abortion pill, no biggie.
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Plan B pills do not cause abortions. If a pregnancy already took place, the pill can’t do anything.
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figure of speech….I stand corrected, plan b pill. Bad plan by teacher.
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The above comment (comment 19) was meant for Tit for Tat. Not Clarissa.
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So TIt for Tat, you would argue that it’s better for the girl to be forced by her parents to have a baby because of their polical/religious beliefs? Is that your position? I’m just trying to understand what you think the better alternative is……
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I didnt say what was better or worse for the girl. I am just saying that the teacher overstepped their bounds. I dont believe it is right or smart for the teacher to make such a decision without consulting the parents. The teacher is not a health professional. What would have happened had something serious happened to that girl, I will tell you what, most people would be condemning the teacher for overstepping their bounds. And as usual, the kid isnt held to any kind of consequence for their actions. The bad part of liberalism smacking us in the face again.
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“And as usual, the kid isnt held to any kind of consequence for their actions. ”
– What consequences would seem right to you in this case?
” I dont believe it is right or smart for the teacher to make such a decision without consulting the parents.”
– What kind of a monster rats out a teenager to hr parents on an issue like this? And why do the parents need to be consulted at all? I understand the suggestion to contact a doctor, but parents? On what grounds are they supposed to know better what this girls needs to do with her body?
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Clarissa
Im not big fan of bailing out people’s stupid actions. Unprotected sex from a 16yr old qualifies as one. Maybe being pregnant and having to make a more serious decision down the road is SUPPOSED to be the consequence. Regardless, this is not a decision of a non custodial individual to make unless they are their health care provider. As a parent(who educates their children on sex/contraception) I think it is a slippery slope when someone else thinks they know what is best for my kid.
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“I think it is a slippery slope when someone else thinks they know what is best for my kid.”
– This somebody else was the girl herself. She wanted the pill, she chose to take it. Her body, her right.
” Regardless, this is not a decision of a non custodial individual to make unless they are their health care provider.”
– This is the decision of one person only: the woman whose body the pregnancy might be occurring in.
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In Canada, plan B is an over the counter drug, which is dispensed to women of any age without a prescription, and the pharmacists have a duty of confidentiality – not only are they not obliged to tell the girls parents, they are forbidden from telling them without the girl’s consent. In France, apparently, it can be given out by school nurses. In many countries plan B is just not a big deal. If people in the States make a big deal out of it, it’s not because the medicine is dangerous.
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“In Canada, plan B is an over the counter drug, which is dispensed to women of any age without a prescription, and the pharmacists have a duty of confidentiality – not only are they not obliged to tell the girls parents, they are forbidden from telling them without the girl’s consent. In France, apparently, it can be given out by school nurses. In many countries plan B is just not a big deal. If people in the States make a big deal out of it, it’s not because the medicine is dangerous.”
– Exactly. Only the weird ultra-religious fanatics treat this medication as if it were heroin.
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By the way, where in the article does it say the mother DIDNT teach her daughter about sex ed and contraceptives? On top of it all it seems the teacher even lied to the police initially. Sometimes I wonder why you campaign for certain individuals. In this instance it really just seems to be foolish kids and a foolish adult acting in cohesion. No wonder Steinberg was pissed afterwards.
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“By the way, where in the article does it say the mother DIDNT teach her daughter about sex ed and contraceptives?”
– Teaching only counts when it’s effective. I can’t say, ‘I taught this person to speak Spanish” if a person doesn’t speak a word of the language.
“Sometimes I wonder why you campaign for certain individuals. In this instance it really just seems to be foolish kids and a foolish adult acting in cohesion.”
– And how do you evaluate the actions of the mother in this situation? The mother who chose to make her daughter’s private life the subject of town’s juiciest gossip just to feed her vindictive feelings towards the teacher. Is it a normal individual who acts this way? Sacrifices her kid so egregiously – and for what? The pill is taken already.
That mother is a monster. A cold-hearted, horrible, self-involved monster. I’m not surprised that the girl turns to strangers in her time of need. She must be terrified of this unhinged mommy who thinks that her daughter’s reproductive issues should be reported to the police.
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This is the decision of one person only: the woman whose body the pregnancy might be occurring in.(clarissa)
Then maybe that person needs to better educate themselves seeing as it was their ignorant actions that got them their in the first place. On top of that, they didnt ask for the plan b pill, it was suggested by the teacher. Duh……priceless.
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Whose fault do you think it is that a 16-year-old doesn’t know how to use contraception? Whose responsibility it is to teach her about that?
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How do you know the parent didnt have that conversation with her? How do you know that she didnt just decide to go bareback because its more exciting. The article really doesnt say much on all of that. It does say plenty about the teacher and kid though, well, at least on their stupidity.
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“How do you know the parent didnt have that conversation with her?”
– “The conversation” was obviously not effective. And “I tried to be a parent but I failed” is not a good excuse.
“How do you know that she didnt just decide to go bareback because its more exciting. ”
– And who brought her up to be this way? Who brought her up to be stupid and irresponsible? Don’t you see that a mother who CALLS THE POLICE over an issue like this could not have possible raised any other kid? The mother is a stupid, irresponsible hysteric. Is it any wonder that her daughter is, too?
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If you want the girl to have consequences for her actions, you ground her for a month. You give her a long lecture. You suspend her allowance. You don’t make her have a baby!
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“I am just saying that the teacher overstepped their bounds.”
In today’s political climate you are unfortunately right. It is all about the parent’s ultimate control over their child–CONTROL and nothing else. It is all about the parent PERIOD and their ULTIMATE AUTHORITY and their political beliefs. It’s not about love or compassion.
“I will tell you what, most people would be condemning the teacher for overstepping their bounds.”
I’m condemning the parent for taking a private family issue and making it very public and demonstrating very personal behaviors towards the teacher, in effect potentially ruining their career. What kind of a monster of a human being would behave that way to their child.
No wonder the daughter would not feel free to talk to the parent and would seek out someone else. I’ve known similar people–they would seek out the help of others before ever considering their parents.
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Jesus fucking Christ. Charged with a felony for dispersing a dangerous drug? That is ridiculous. This is all political. The only reason a teenager can’t get a fucking Plan B over the counter is political.
You know what? I was that teenage girl. In my first relationship, in my first sexual relationship, and I was late. But I was lucky. I lived in a city, and had experience with our public transportation system. I went to the local clinic alone and got Plan B. No pregnancy.
I didn’t tell a soul, save for my boyfriend. I wasn’t going to have a baby, and I wasn’t going to take the risk of someone trying to make any decisions for me. That’s what this poor girl wanted, and it makes me so FUCKING ANGRY that so many dipshits like this young woman’s mother, politicians, and the local police want to take that decision away from her.
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Clairssa, thans so much for this article and for your support and understanding.
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What you did was heroic, Tracy. It is very inspiring that teachers like you still exist. Stay strong! There are many people on your side.
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@clarissa
Not a very high standard for a hero. wow.
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Hi Tracy! You’re not wrong but you sure were not thinking of your own safety when you did that.
I teach at a university and recently had a student, over 18 for sure and perhaps even over 21, crying in my office because she was pregnant.
Her family and the boyfriend’s family were insisting she have the child, which meant she was going to have to drop out of school (I guess because nobody was going to help with daycare / expenses / etc.). This was what she was upset about, primarily, although her other issue was not being ready for a child / for deepening her relationship with the boyfriend in that way / etc.
My first instinct was to talk to her about abortion, adoption, and so on. When I was younger than I am now, in an earlier era, this would have been normal to do. It would be why the student came to see a woman faculty member on this, after all – in hopes I would say something. In the current climate I thought I had better ask advice on this before saying anything, so I did and was told I could not, so I did not.
That still bothers me and I don’t know that the advice was correct – although it of course was
the safe path for me. It is unfortunate that we self censor in this way since, after all, abortion is still legal!!! It has since occurred to me that I might have sent her to the counseling center, but who knows whether they would have felt safe to say anything, either.
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…and, but tit for tat, are you saying you’d think this child should have had the pregnancy (if any) and then the baby or abortion… to teach her a lesson?
In general, it amazes me but I notice many men seem to think that availability of contraception will make women sexually available to just anyone, and availability of plan B, abortion, etc., will make women abandon contraception.
It makes me wonder whether they aren’t projecting. (I mentioned before the Catholic – it was a while ago but I am still shocked – I talked to who felt the availability of legal abortion made contraception unnecessary for non Catholic women.)
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Dont lump me in with the general until you get to know me. Life is about lessons, it seems the only lesson here for the 16yr old is. Have unprotected sex, have a teacher bail you out. Then get the teacher blamed for bailing you out. In the meantime her and the boyfriend are probably doing what they do, go figure. Oh yeah and blame the parent for not teaching the kid(or was she even listening) about sex ed. For all you commenters who think this kid is hard done by, do you even have kids yourself???
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I don’t know, titfortat; your logic sound sorts of like the logic of the “fascists” (I’d use another word, faux Christians, authority fanatics, something) Jennifer described above…
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He does make up for his horrible posts by adding his those hilarious passive-aggressive smilies in the end.
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Yeah, I have kids. If my child left his bicycle out overnight and it was stolen, I would not immediately go out and by him a new one. Being without a bicycle for a while is a suitable consequence for carelessness. If my child was riding his bicycle without a helmet and fell off and got a head injury, I wouldn’t say: serves you right – live with the consequences, I’ve told you a hundred times to wear a helmet, I’m not taking you to a doctor, maybe that way you’ll learn your lesson. That consequence is out of all proportion.
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Clarissa
The issue wasnt the pregancy or termination of it. The ISSUE is the FACT that the teacher did something illegal and was deceptive about it. There is absolutely no evidence in regards to your claims about the mother. And if you really want to blame someone, blame the kid for getting the teacher in hot water in the first place. Talk about misdirected anger…..I think you need a massage. 😉
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How embarrassingly condescending.
What is legal, is not always right. What is illegal, is not always wrong. That is the case here. You are under the mistaken impression that morality equals legality. It does not.
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titfortat: “How do you know that she didnt just decide to go bareback because its more exciting.”
Ick.
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I echo this ick. And add to it: Why, titfortat, are you taking this line of thought? Is the situation somehow worse because she might have enjoyed sex?
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That poor kid. Now see, in this country, a teacher might still get a rap over the knuckles from the school administration for dispensing medication, (contrary to H&S policy – and possibly opens one up to civil suit from the girl in question if she had a bad reaction etc, although the chances of such a suit succeeding are pretty damn slim given it’s OTC. The mother wouldn’t necessarily have any standing at all) but there would be no grounds for criminal action. But then, a teacher wouldn’t feel the need to dispense themselves – you can buy it anonymously OTC from any pharmacy, or get it for free from any NHS doctor or GUM clinic or young persons centre.
The mother is revolting, in her interference in her daughter’s life, attempts at imposing her values upon other people, and in her spreading her daughter’s personal business about. Thoroughly nauseating. As is the idiot up-thread who thinks babies are suitable punishments.
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If somebody sees a baby as a suitable punishment, a lesson in responsibility, it must involve not seeing this baby as a person in his/her own right at all.
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“If somebody sees a baby as a suitable punishment, a lesson in responsibility, it must involve not seeing this baby as a person in his/her own right at all.”
Yes, exactly.
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In the US, many people believe that fetuses are people but children aren’t. I think we definitely need a personhood amendment. For actual existing children.
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The teacher should’ve sent the couple to PP themselves. Why didn’t she? I am sure she wouldn’t be fired for *that*.
In Israel I heard of a middle school girl (12-14 ages), who became pregnant, went to a school advisor and got an abortion without telling to her parents.
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Closest PP could be a couple of hundred miles away and in heavily Christian zones you may have to walk through lines of hecklers. And, I’m not sure what the consent laws are in TX. Plan B is OC if you are 17+, but parental consent might be required for it to be prescribed for anyone under 17. All of this is why the most logical thing was in fact for someone to give it to her – given the circumstances.
I guess she could have had a 17 year old friend buy it, or she could have gone to the pharmacy looking very grown up and matter of fact and maybe she would have passed for 17, who knows.
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And what’s up with the strawman argument of ‘you should face the consequences of your actions blah blah’. Well, the girl is clearly managing the consequences of her actions. It’s just not happening the way *you* like it to be. Action: unprotected sex. Consequences: a baby, maybe (and a lot of underage pussy excitement, as per titfortat). How to manage it: have the baby or take plan B/have an abortion. She chose plan B.
This girl isn’t asking for anything. Just let her make the decision about her goddamn body. The way titfortat is trolling here you’d think the teacher surgically aborted her baby without her consent and without anesthesia.
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Yes – the key point – she did “face consequences.” Sprung right into action the very next day.
And TT (below) – you are yourself inferring a lot, without factual basis, with all your own moralizing about “impulse control” and “bad decisions” …
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Lol, you guys are fun, not surprising, but fun. It seems everyone believes the teacher was perfectly justified for their actions. It seems no one is willing to put anything on the 16yr old for her bad decision making(including having the teacher blamed).
Also, I would appreciate, if possible, where does all this information about the mother come from? It seems in the article the only thing she did was inform the police about the actions of the teacher. All this moralizing about her parenting skills is coming from what factual information?
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Tit for tat, do you think parents should have a right to force 16 year old to give birth by denying her 1st this pill and later abortion? A serious question.
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Titfortat,
—where does all this information about the mother come from?
The very thing that the mother decided that, given the situation, the most important thing is punishing the teacher (and also her daughter by making this debacle public) for overriding her (mother’s) parental authority over her daughter, which she (mother) believes is extending to include control of her daughter’s contraception decisions, demonstrates what are mother’s priorities, and therefore, what kind of person said mother is..
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“The very thing that the mother decided that, given the situation, the most important thing is punishing the teacher (and also her daughter by making this debacle public) for overriding her (mother’s) parental authority over her daughter, which she (mother) believes is extending to include control of her daughter’s contraception decisions, demonstrates what are mother’s priorities, and therefore, what kind of person said mother is..”
– That’s exactly what I’m saying. Who involves the police in such issues, huh? What can possibly justify that?Have a talk with the teacher, tell her you don’t want medication to be dispensed to your kid, have a talk with the kid, but involving POLICE? That’s just out of this world.
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Another example of punishment someone feels is commensurate with the teenager’s action:
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And here N. is worrying his head off that he might become a bad father. Sheesh, he can definitely never be a worse father than this, no matter what happens. 🙂
Just consider the impotence of this dad who is so incapable of establishing a dialogue with his kid that he needs to post YouTube videos to address her. Let alone the jerkdom of somebody who invades a person’s privacy in this way. And the entire, “When I was your age, I walked barefoot in the snow”? Don’t people know already that this is the worst possible way to establish a dialogue with anybody? The phrase “when I was your age” should be outlawed. 🙂
And shooting the computer? Any psychoanalyst would have such a field day. . . 🙂
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One question: did the girl wanted to take that pill,or not?
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Oh and by the way, it was bad decision making from the boy too. I dont think he should get a pass either.
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Nope sorry no one but you is interested in slut-shaming a 16 year old girl and acting like having a baby as a teenager is a learning experience that will build her character.
As for the teacher, I think the trouble she’s in just underscores the TEA’s systemic fear of healthy, informed sexual activity. Maybe from a legal perspective she shouldn’t have given the girl the pill, but that only indicates that there were no legitimate options for this girl, which sounds to me like a gross failing on the administration’s part, from the civic to the state level.
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“..which sounds to me like a gross failing on the administration’s part, from the civic to the state level.”
Not to mention failure of the parents. You should really kill yourself if your 16 year old kid faces a crisis of this magnitude and can’t coming running to you for help. Because she’s afraid, thanks to the atmosphere at home that *you* have created.
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“Also, I would appreciate, if possible, where does all this information about the mother come from? It seems in the article the only thing she did was inform the police about the actions of the teacher. All this moralizing about her parenting skills is coming from what factual information?”
It comes from the fact that the mother is pursuing a CRIMINAl prosecution against this teacher. That indicates that the mother has a deep and “moral” issue with Plan B. Otherwise there wouldn’t be this hoopla. If it were my daughter, I would have understood that she (my daughter) was scared, embarassed, and afraid to disappoint me and I would feel glad the my daughter had an adult she could trust to help her. And I don’t understand the endless moralizing about the girl’s “irresponsible” behaviour. Teenagehood is a time to experiment. One hopes that they make good decisions all the time. But the reality is that they are learning and they will make questionable decisions (even adults make bad decisions for that matter.) And all we, as adults can do, is help them learn. And you (Tit for Tat) seem to be suggesting that the only justifiable consequence is for the girl to either have a baby or have an abortion. Going to a trusted adult for help and getting Plan B isn’t suitable enough punishment in your eyes. Honestly, if she had a fun and pleasurable night of sex, I just don’t see it as that great of a failing. And now her private life is part of public discourse because of her horrible mother. That poor girl is going to have sex ruined for her for a long time now I would guess.
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The only thing, eh? That’s a huge “only thing”.
I have raised a teenager and if something like this happened, I know for a fact that she would not be crying somewhere in front of her teachers. I would be the person she’d turn to. And it would stay between her and me forever. For me to traumatize her by getting the police involved in such an intimate issue – I don’t know, I can’t even begin to imagine that.
So what am I supposed to deduce about the parenting skills of someone whose own daughter trusts strangers more than her mother and who calls the police and makes things so public for absolutely no reason, just to be vindictive?
Do you realize that now the girl will be forced to go throw interrogations by the police about her sex life and maybe even give evidence in court? What kind of a person doe this to their own kid? And for what?
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What I don’t get is the huge drama over this pill. To me, it is in no way different than giving a 16-year-old a pack of condoms. Contraception before sex or after sex, that’s the only difference. (except that condoms are better because they protect from STDs). Otherwise, I just don’t see the reason for all this hoopla. What if the teacher had given her an aspirin? Or a Coldrex? Would the police be just as interested?
I’m sorry, but I’m about to hurt the patriotic feelings of people: this country is nuts. People get arrested on criminal charges for sharing Plan B while there are 4-year-olds medicated to the gills for non-existent schizophrenia and that’s fine?
Sorry, but this is nuts.
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My own central Texas schools all had policies that no drugs of any kind could be distributed to anyone by anyone but the nurse’s office. I knew kids who were suspended for sharing Tylenol.
Yep. Texas is nuts. America is nuts. You don’t like it go back to your fruity Euro-Canada loser world that has all the “sanity” and I’ll keep my M16s and high fructose corn syrup thanks.
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“Yep. Texas is nuts. America is nuts. You don’t like it go back to your fruity Euro-Canada loser world that has all the “sanity” and I’ll keep my M16s and high fructose corn syrup thanks.”
– I’m still hoping to change this country by banding together with all those people who are as creeped out by this insanity as I am.
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What the mother and tit for tat are upset about are the fact that she had sex; now they want to crucify her for it – that’s all. This is how Americans are about that.
It fits in with medicating the four year olds, though, in a different way – it’s very important in the US to find any way you can to pathologize the under 18 set.
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:))))
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EXACTLY!!! Just imagine the loneliness, the fear, the stress the girl experiences when she needs to share this with strangers and not with her own mother. How is that normal?
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But, I think this is how most American parents are. The students i have who list their parents as the people they’d go to to discuss a serious problem are maybe 10%.
Normal, I don’t know – this girl is 16 which is pretty old. Why should it have to be her mother she asks about this – and if she went to a doctor, wouldn’t that be a “stranger”?
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“But, I think this is how most American parents are. The students i have who list their parents as the people they’d go to to discuss a serious problem are maybe 10%.
Normal, I don’t know – this girl is 16 which is pretty old. Why should it have to be her mother she asks about this – and if she went to a doctor, wouldn’t that be a “stranger”?”
– I wouldn’t have gone to my parents with something like this. But I know that my teenager would have come to me. I know it. So I know that it is possible to create the kind of a relationship where a teenager shares with the primary caretaker and then they go to a doctor together. And a normal adult – far from calling the police – goes out of their way to make the entire process as non-traumatic for the kid as possible. And then they have a long, calm, non-castigating talk about sexuality, contraception, body issues, etc.
Raising a teenager is hard. Shit comes up all the time that one is not prepared for. Teenagers do all kinds of crazy things. Gosh, I lived in the state of being permanently on the verge of a heart attack for years. 🙂 And my teenager was the good kind. Still, there was stuff. But the fact that I loved her and wanted to be the person she always trusts and always comes to with any issues helped me to preserve the relationship. What that cost me, only I know. But it was really worth it because she grew up and became the person I come to with all my problems. And what that costs her, only she knows. 🙂
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On question:did the girl wanted to take that pill,or not?
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That’s the crucial question, I think.
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V – God – what an overemotional, abusive a**hole. And I don’t understand why parents think it’s their right to go through their kids’ stuff.
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” And I don’t understand why parents think it’s their right to go through their kids’ stuff.”
– Every time I turn on the TV there is some quasi-psychologist who is saying who it’s the hallmark of good parenting to go through the kid’s pockets, cell phone messages, computer, email accounts, etc. To me, this sounds like reports from a different planet. When I was living with my teenage sister, she always left her diary lying around in the open because she knew that I would never open it.
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titfortat–
Not a very high standard for a hero. wow.
Exactly the sentiment I feel towards the mother–hardly exhibiting high standards and certainly not behavior that I’d aspire too. What an a**hole.
Perhaps one day she’ll repay her mother’s emotional cruelty by cutting her out of her life and who would blame her? Tends to happen in families where these issues occur.
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Are you serious. Where oh where do you get your information. First off Im Canadian. Secondly Im all for sex ed at a very early age. My daughter and stepson have had lots of discussions with us about sexuality and precautions. My beef is in no way, shape or form about this girl having sex.
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what is your beef then. i quoted you as asking that people shift blame to the girl. you did that a few times, implying that the girl maliciously ratted out the teacher, presumably to save herself from being punished by her parents for having unprotected sex. you also did a bunch of concern trolling about how we need to speculate wildly that maybe the girl’s parents talked to her about safe sex but the dumb fuck kid just ignored it probably. these seem like contradictory ideas to me so i’m not understanding what you’re getting at. who or what are you defending or condemning and why.
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For all of you who disagree with me I thank you for your input. In a world of communication I appreciate that you feel free enough to slam me if you dont agree. It would be nice though if you left out the personal attacks on my chararcter.
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Titfortat,
May we please return to the question of “what, in your opinion, would be the appropriate consequences for the lack of responsibility the girl in question demonstrated by having unprotected sex?”. Can you please give a straight answer?
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I dont know if there is an “appropriate” consequence for their actions(boy and girl). All I know is they didnt get any(the teacher did). As far as everything else that has been said about this family, its all just conjecture. Though we do know that the girl was at best uncomfortable with what the teacher did or else she wouldnt have informed her mother. I agree the mother over reacted(i would have just given the teacher a blast).
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“must have been…” – that’s conjecture. There are all kinds of possible reasons. I have a sister who told our mother when she started having sex – bad idea given our mother, I know – but my sister had the hope of being able to talk with Mom about such things.
I have a friend who got his high school girlfriend pregnant. This was before abortion was as stigmatized as now, and they had jobs so they had cash, so they just went and got the abortion. Later he told his father about it because, after all, it was kind of a big thing even though it went off without glitches. All the father had to say was that he had done something “stupid.” Apparently that kind of reaction was what one could expect from this man, but still my friend had hoped to have a more human conversation with his father than that, so he tried for it.
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Why should there be a “consequence” (by which you appear to mean something negative / some form of punishment)? What if it just leads to greater awareness / self knowledge / etc.?
I don’t know, sometimes there are *no* consequences to unprotected sex … !!! Haven’t you ever…?
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What if it just leads to greater awareness / self knowledge / etc.?(Z)
All of which can come from having an abortion, having the baby and putting it up for adoption, having the baby and keeping it. None of them have to be negative but they all can be a consequence of the previous action. For all we know this kid might have wanted one of those as the outcome but was too emotionally distressed to verbalize her feelings. Afterall she didnt specifically ask for the play b pill, it was offered.
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“Though we do know that the girl was at best uncomfortable with what the teacher did or else she wouldnt have informed her mother.”
Didn’t anyone read the article that was linked in the OP??
The teacher tried to cover her tracks, only giving the girl the pills, not the box, etc. She explained the possible side effects. The girl then went home and had pain and nausea, texted the teacher, and when the symptoms (apparently normal side effects) continued told her mother the whole story, which apparently angered the teacher, who had really gone out on a limb for this student. The mother apparently panicked and called the school police, which was stupid, but the whole story is more complicated than is being presented in the thread. It seems that the culture as a whole is more at fault for the immature girl and the panicky helpless mother. (remember the girl was in pain, and there was no evidence, such as a box explaining what she had taken).
This is indeed a very sad story.
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“It seems that the culture as a whole is more at fault for the immature girl and the panicky helpless mother. ”
– Yeah, let’s blame everything on some non-existent vaguely defined “culture as a whole.”
Jeez.
“The teacher tried to cover her tracks, only giving the girl the pills, not the box, etc.”
– People should not be allowed to keep their boxes?
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@Clarissa
Lol, while were at it, lets blame you. Afterall you wrote this post. 🙂
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“Lol, while were at it, lets blame you. Afterall you wrote this post.”
– I have already been told that I’m the worst person in the universe and that I’m the reason for everything that is wrong in this world. 🙂 🙂
So I’m prepared to be blamed for this. 😉
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“- People should not be allowed to keep their boxes?”
Who said this? Keep their boxes? Huh?
Honestly Clarissa, you are becoming more unhinged by the day.
Like I said, it helps to read the actual story. And I was not judging the teacher. Not at all. Or anyone really.
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You don’t know the actual story. You know what was described in the article. And I have good reason to believe that the article is heavily biased and is not based on exactly what happened.
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“- Yeah, let’s blame everything on some non-existent vaguely defined “culture as a whole.””
Didn’t you just blame the threatened censorship of your courses on the Puritan American culture?
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“Didn’t you just blame the threatened censorship of your courses on the Puritan American culture?”
– Please reread my post and show me exactly where I use the expression “the Puritan American culture” in it.
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“And I have good reason to believe ”
It sounded pretty straightforward to me. What is your good reason?
And how is it better to just make shit up? Oh I know, it’s more fun!
LoL.
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Damn, this is one of those few times I think Isabel is right. But dont let that stop you Carissa. You go get her. 🙂
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“t.”
– I have already been told that I’m the worst person in the universe and that I’m the reason for everything that is wrong in this world. 🙂 🙂
”
Haha, you are indeed becoming unhinged. Such egomania on display. I haven’t seen anything like it in a while.
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Yes, if you haven’t seen it, then it could have never happened. According to this logic, the Mexican-American war definitely didn’t take place.
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“Haha, you are indeed becoming unhinged.”
– If you have nothing better to do than spend so much time on a blog of an unhinged person, what does it tell us about your life?
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Few times? When have I been wrong? What does that even mean?
And what am I right about? Clicking a link and reading the full story (which adults know is never the exact truth-jeesh do we even have to explain this?) is better than making shit up?
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“Few times? When have I been wrong? What does that even mean?”
– No, no! You are infallible!
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“culture as a whole.”
I would specify “Texas”. Or at least “Central Texas ISDs”.
“I have good reason to believe that the article is heavily biased and is not based on exactly what happened.”
Yep, that’s the Statesman right there. It toes the line because Austin has a rep as a kewl burg, but as I remember it [granted, it’s been years] it tends to be rather Congress Avenue.*
*Austin’s rather old white boys’ club state government district
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“I would specify “Texas”. Or at least “Central Texas ISDs”.”
– It is easy to blame one’s own lousy parenting on Texas, on God, on the universe. But a normal parent always loves her child, no matter whether they live in Texas or on the Moon.
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The article seems generally factical, albeit with a tone of “wrong was done” … I’m especially concerned about the “became angry according to the affidavit” part.
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““Few times? When have I been wrong? What does that even mean?”
– No, no! You are infallible!
”
No I am not an egomaniac like some people around here- I am very fallible. But this jerk is implying he thinks I am usually wrong, yet I don’t even remember arguing with him once- what is he talking about? I’d be curious to know!
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OK, I’ve read this thread and . . . is everybody here INSANE? A teacher dispenses a DANGEROUS drug that could have any number of potentially HEALTH DAMAGING consequences and the mother gets the blame??? Has anybody even considered that the daughter might not have even wanted to take that pill and that the teacher COERCED her into doing it? The mother was looking out for her kid, so she called the police. Wouldn’t you do the same if your kid was being endangered? This teacher will return to class and continue handing out these pills. Is that what you want to happen?
This is NOT a teacher’s right or business to distribute this medication. A teacher’s job is to TEACH not administer DRUGS.
I’m just disgusted by all of you here.
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Dangerous? It’s over the counter if you’re 17, just a few months older than this girl. Looks like she was going to be coerced into having a baby / an abortion, and nobody has mentioned the possibility that she was coerced into sex ,,, I dunno, showing up to school crying the next day, who knows what all went on, yadda yadda.
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“Has anybody even considered that the daughter might not have even wanted to take that pill and that the teacher COERCED her into doing it?”
– Yes, the teacher grabbed the girl and started shoving the pill into her mouth as the girl screamed, “Please, let me go, I want to have a baby! I don’t want this pill, just let me go!”
I’m sure that this is exactly what happened. Because, you know, that’s what those vile educators do. They also add abortion pills to food in the school cafeteria just for the hell of it. And they also drink the blood of Christian babies in the morning. What did you think that was in their mugs, coffee? How naive you are!
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And what would be teacher’s motivation for COERCING the girl? What would teacher gain from it? I consider it a much more realistic scenario, based on my knowledge of human beings, that the girl was scared, she was, for some (wink, wink) reason, uncomfortable with asking her mother for advise, and turned to the person she trusted (the teacher). And the teacher had to make a moral choice – hide behind the regulations and do nothing even though doing nothing may also have negative consequences for the girl, or inform the parents (which, as we now see, quite likely would have negative consequences for the girl), or overstep the boundaries and help the girl.
And, by the way, I am a father of a teenage daughter. If the situation in question happened to my daughter, I would be much more concerned about my and my wife’s apparent failure as parents (preventing my daughter from seeking help from us), than about punishing the teacher. By the way, feeling self-righteous about going after the teacher is an excellent way to avoid thinking of what parents did wrong.
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“And what would be teacher’s motivation for COERCING the girl? What would teacher gain from it?”
– Because all teachers are enemies of humanity who live to destroy fetuses.
“If the situation in question happened to my daughter, I would be much more concerned about my and my wife’s apparent failure as parents (preventing my daughter from seeking help from us), than about punishing the teacher. By the way, feeling self-righteous about going after the teacher is an excellent way to avoid thinking of what parents did wrong.”
– Hear, hear!!! The parents want to own their children but, at the same time, they completely divorce the result of the upbringing from the actual upbringing in their own minds. Weird. And creepy.
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@V
You wouldnt be the least concerned with your daughter’s apparent failure to get your message? Blaming you and your wife is pretty much as bad as only blaming the teacher. I think we need to hold our children to some higher standards, dont ya think?
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“@V You wouldnt be the least concerned with your daughter’s apparent failure to get your message? Blaming you and your wife is pretty much as bad as only blaming the teacher. I think we need to hold our children to some higher standards, dont ya think?”
There’s a world of difference between taking responsibility and blame. If a daughter fails to get a parent’s message doesn’t the parent have some responsibility for the communication as well. Communication takes two. Parent’s serve as role models to their children, not the other way around. As I see it V’s comment is about taking responsibility–they are afterall the parent.
There’s nothing wrong with setting standards, when they are age appropriate, for children either.
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Titfortat,
So, please, tell us finally how exactly this holding the child to higher standards should look like? Does officially busting the teacher contribute to holding the child to higher standards, whatever that means?
Concerning my personal position on the issue – I recognize that the relationship between parent and child is inherently unequal. The parent has responsibility for her/his child. This is often misunderstood as parent having the right to control the child. While in fact it means that it is primarily parents who are responsible for the quality of the relationship between parents and kids, and for the child being comfortable enough about turning to parents for help in critical situation.
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Endangered? You sure demonstrate a sense of dramatic flair in your writing. Impressive.
And are you unaware that pregnancy can also cause potentially health damaging consequences–in this day and age? Or do you conveniently choose to overlook these consequences. Have you not heard of the health risks associated with pregnancy? There are risks to natural childbirth as well and what about risks associated with anesthesia or are you blissfully unaware of those too?
Out of curiosity how do you go about picking and choosing what health damaging consequences to worry about? How do you go about choosing what merits such an outpouring of maternal worry and concern anyway?
And let’s not forget to mention the psychological risk of forcing a teen to give birth to a child that she may not want and the lifelong psychological risk that this may create to the teen and her child and all for what? A pissed off parent punishing a teen for taking away their right to parental control?
How is calling the police an example of parental love and looking out for her kid? The mother is looking out for herself and herself only. It’s all about her ego. What a sorry excuse of a mother.
And I’m equally disgusted by you.
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And the above comment was intended for the mother of two.
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V,
You want an absolute in this case, I cant give it other than to say it wasnt the teacher’s call. She deserved what she got. As a parent I would imagine you would be none to pleased if your daughter got that pill and then got deathly ill because she had an adverse reaction to it because the teacher was unaware of your childs health. Im not talking about controlling our children, Im talking about a level playing field so people dont circumvent laws just because they dont agree with them or think they are morally repugnant. Change the law, dont break em, but if you do then be prepared for the consequence.
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The child wouldn’t get deathly ill from Plan B. Plan B does not cause people to get deathly ill. People don’t have adverse reactions to it. That’s why it’s so easy to get elsewhere in the civilized world.
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V, by higher standards he’s got to mean virginity – unless he really thinks young people only use birth control to please their parents, and would personally prefer to have large families before hitting age 21.
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Z
Do you always do that? Disagree with someone and then precede to think you know who they are and what they will do in any given situation. This is not a good way to communicate.
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Titfortat,
no, I would not be pleased, but I would not sue either. Would not believe I have moral right to sue the person my child turned to for help when she did not trust me.
And I am still waiting for an explanation of what “holding the child to higher standards” means in these circumstances.
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Higher standard…… going to someone else for help, they help you and then you go to your family because(not completely sure why) you were not comfortable with what they did. That kid should have a consequence for that action. Her actions specifically put another persons career at risk, that child should be held accountable for that. The adult should be held accountable for breaking the law. I would not have turned that teacher in, as I said earlier, I would have given her a piece of my mind but thats it.
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Like I just posted above, she had painful side effects and got scared. I wondered the same thing and clicked the link. What a concept!
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I’m still not hearing about the mother’s responsibility. Seriously, it’s like the mother is the child here.
This is precisely what we have been discussing in the topic about maternal gatekeeping. It doesn’t even occur to people that the actions of a mother deserve scrutiny. Mothers are not infallible. Sometimes, they do really bad things. Like in this case.
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Well, living with the knowledge that she put teacher’s career at risk is enough consequence for me. Do not think one should create any additional artificial consequences…
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Well V, I may not agree with your parenting style but I respect your right to it. I tell my children all the time (17 and 14). It you feel you are mature enough for sex, be prepared and mature enough for the possible consequences. Life aint easy nor is it fair.
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What if they decide to ask you to buy plan B or give permission for an abortion, as required until a certain age?
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To the best of my knowledge my children do not require my consent.
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Ha! Yes, this is the million dollar question.
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Titfortat, you understand that I was asking what would you do, were you living in a place, where they would require it. Like this case.
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Its not a black or white decision for me or my family. It would be dependant on the situation.
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So are you okay with your daughter taking Plan B assuming she is freaking out because she had unprotected sex and doesn’t know if she’s pregnant. Or do “possible consequences” include waiting to see if she is pregnant and then figuring out if abortion, adoption, or Early Grandpa Time is the best solution to “the situation”.
However you feel about what the teacher in the article did I would like to know the answer to this plz & thx.
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“So are you okay with your daughter taking Plan B assuming she is freaking out because she had unprotected sex and doesn’t know if she’s pregnant.”
– I don’t think it’s a parent’s (or anybody’s) place to be OK or not to be OK with such a decision. It is a deeply intimate decision and nobody should be having opinions about it.
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@P.rhoeas
I feel its dependant on the situation and emotional stability of my child. Hard to make a clear distinction of yes or no basing just on a hypothetical.
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