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Women in Business Class

My sister was traveling from Paris this week on a long overnight flight. She decided to pay for a Business Class seat in order to enjoy the flight instead of suffering for hours in a cramped, miserable little space.

When she went into the Business Class section of the airplane, she was stunned to see that everybody else there was male. She was the only woman until a lady from China joined her. It felt like a striptease joint, she says.

I very much hope to be mistaken but this looks like evidence that, yet again, women economize at their own expense and don’t feel justified in treating themselves as well as men.

The need to sacrifice for the sake of parents, husbands, siblings, children, pets and potted plants is a guiding principle of many women’s lives. I see it everywhere.

Dear women, this has got to stop. You need to start doing things for yourself. Get yourself a massage, find a cool facial mask, slather it on your face and drop into a bathtub for an hour, buy a cake or two pounds of expensive fruit you like and eat them all without considering who might need this money or this cake more than you. Close the door to your office or your room and stick a note that says “Me time. Keep out!” on the door.

Of course, if you are a man who tends to sacrifice yourself, then you should stop doing that, too.

Remember, people who really love you, do not need your sacrifices. They need for you to be happy. If you can’t be happy for yourself, then make this last sacrifice and be happy for the sake of your loved ones.

Projection Game

Think of a person you know of your own gender whom you really really really dislike. Now, list the qualities this person has that bug you so much.

My most unlikeable person is:

– cold;

– distant;

– mean;

– robotic;

– overachieving;

– harsh;

– indifferent;

– garishly dressed;

– self-centered like there is no tomorrow.

Now, describe the person you dislike the most.

Do you know what we just described? Ourselves. The qualities I hate so much in my person X might or might not be ones she actually possesses. But we do know for sure (on the basis of my intense dislike of her) that I possess them. And I don’t like them in myself, which is why I project them onto her and then dissociate myself from them by saying, “God, I hate X. for being this way! And if I do, then, certainly, I’m nothing like that.”

Ideology of Oral Sex

Somebody came to the blog through the search of “ideology of oral sex.”

Geez, people, what’s next? The ideology of digestion? The ideology of blood circulation? Have it, don’t have it, whatever. Just stop looking at simple physiology through the prism of ideology.

The only question to ask about oral sex is “Do I want to engage in it, when, and with whom?” That’s the only “ideology” of sex worth analyzing. And whether you do or don’t want to have oral sex, there is no other reason or justification that you need for that. Just the desire or lack thereof.

Perfect People and a Sense of Humor

So yesterday we finished watching the movie Nine Queens in the two sections of my language course. One of the sections enjoyed the film. People laughed, one student clapped, another student made enthusiastic “woo-hoo” noises, everything went great.

In the other section, however, as the credits started to roll, I perceived a gathering tension.

“What could possibly be wrong now?” I wondered. “There is no sex, no nudity, no politics, and there’s a happy ending. Why are the students uncomfortable?”

“So did you like the movie?” I asked.

“Nah. . .”, was the response.

“Why didn’t you like it?”

“We thought Juan was a good person but he turned out to be dishonest.”

“Well, the only person he tricked was a con man who had hurt a lot of people,” I tried to argue.

“But he lied,” the students drawled.

“He only wanted to restore to a young woman and her teenage brother the inheritance that was rightfully theirs.”

“But he lied.”

“And he was desperate to help his elderly father,” I persevered.

“BUT HE LIED!” the students chanted.

So now I’m looking for a movie where fully clothed angelical human beings go around being perfect all the time. Any suggestions?

P.S. No, I’m not inventing these stories. If I had that kind of imagination, I’d already be a bestselling author.

Why Do We Need Birth Control?

I have to say, I’m getting a little fed up with the “women need birth control not because they want to have sex but because they might have health issues that are corrected with birth control and, in any case, being on birth control doesn’t mean you are having that much sex anyways.”

It’s all true but it’s also completely beside the point. It is the XXI century, folks. It is perfectly fine to need birth control because you are having sex and want to prevent pregnancy. It is perfectly fine to have tons of sex if that’s what you want. Let’s stop buying into this idea that there is something wrong with having sex.

Want birth control for your health issues? Good. Want it because you are having lots of sex? Also good. Neither of these reasons is more or less valid than the other. Let’s just stop being apologetic for what we are doing with our own bodies already.