Over a dozen times in the past week I have seen words “tasty” and “delicious” placed next to a description of Chick-Fil-A meals. This has got me wondering. Are people who write such things completely nuts? We have this pathetic excuse for food sold on our campus and I tried it twice. It tastes completely disgusting. The so-called chicken is made of stale cardboard. The fries are soggy and extremely oversalted. I felt woozy and bloated for hours after I ate this shit. A while later, I even tried it one other time to make sure I was giving the place the benefit of the doubt. Bleh! I still want to vomit as I think about it. Burger King is a Michelin-quality joint compared to Chick-Fil-A*.
I understand that nobody cares about the nutritional properties of this garbage in the midst of an important discussion on gay rights. But as much as I abhor the homophobic beliefs of people who flocked to the chain and bought its disgusting junk to support the hateful beliefs of its owners, I couldn’t help feeling compassion for the folks who not only bought but actually ate – put in their bodies! – crazy amounts of this poison in the midst of a heavy heat wave. I mean, go ahead buy it to support hatred everywhere, that’s your God-given right, but at least don’t consume the crap.
In my Spanish Beginners II class, I once decided to help students learn the names of different foodstuffs in Spanish.
“Tell me what your favorite foods are,” I suggested, “and I will teach you how to say it in Spanish.”
Immediately, students started sharing.
That was when I realized that the activity wasn’t going as planned. Of course, I tried making my own suggestions because there is a limit to how many times you can say “pollo” in a classroom and not get bored. The students didn’t want to discuss anything but chicken, though. Beef and pork were deemed “boring”, rabbit and duck were disgusting, and all the different vegetables I started naming made students make vomiting noises.
People’s palates are woefully undeveloped. This country is the best place ever to explore all the permutations of all the amazing cuisines of the world. You can develop gastronomically as much as you want and not get financially ruined in the process. Yet people choose to eat the same chicken flavored cardboard day in and day out. This is incomprehensible to me.
* There is, however, one place that is worse even than Chick-Fil-A. It’s called “Arby’s.” I visited it once back in Indiana and I still have nightmares.
P.S. I swear to God, if anybody leaves an idiotic comment of the “Everybody should have the right to eat whatever they want” variety, I’ll bite their head off. I’m not proposing constitutional amendments preventing outlawing consumption of garbage. I’m just suggesting that people are limiting their experience of the world for no reason.