What Attracts TSA Agents To Me

I have finally discovered why I always get pawed by the TSA officers at security checkpoints. I fly often, and it can’t be a coincidence that I get signaled for a pat-down every time when I go through security. Being singled out for a groping session 16 times in a row (I counted) seems like too big of a coincidence.

Now the mystery has been solved, and it feels kind of good to know what was causing the TSA agents to pay so much attention to me. On my trip to Montreal, a male agent who was observing me step through the metal frame motioned me to step aside and requested over the radio that a female officer approach.

“What?” the female officer asked when she came by.

“The skirt,” said the male agent.

It turns out that skirts are likely to cause discomfort to TSA agents because you can hide quite a few objects underneath them. I tend to wear a lot of billowing, 1950s-style skirts that look like you could have an arsenal under them.

And if you collect horror stories about TSA scanners, here is a particularly disturbing one.

7 thoughts on “What Attracts TSA Agents To Me

  1. Clarissa,

    I have the same problem! I just traveled to California to be with my family for the holidays and I was pat down on the way there and on the way back! Apparently, you can’t wear clothes with sequins either!

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  2. I opt out of the scanner and choose the patdown every time. I don’t care about the naked picture but I do want to interrupt and slow down every new form of invasion of privacy they come up with. It is important since they are trying to normalize it. This really should not be shrugged off and certainly not in the name of “safety”.

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  3. I always opt out as well, because the new scanners are really harmful for you. A physicist friend once told me about how dangerous they are in great detail, and it put the fear of God into me.

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  4. I was wearing a skirt the one time I was pulled out of line and given a pat-down, but I also didn’t have a current ID at the time. They told me that was why they were doing it.

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