A bizarre sex scandal at the University of Georgia.
I’m making mushroom risotto today, so this paean to risotto was very timely.
How teaching gender studies has changed in 20 years.
If you don’t take care of your psychological health, the major hormonal transformation that will start at about 40-45 in men and 45-52 in women will feel like a tsunami. When we are teenagers, we have no idea how to prepare for the hormonal upheaval. But if we don’t prepare by the age of 45, it’s just pure laziness.
I’m not going to read this report on the future of online feminism but I leave the link here for those who are interested.
Americans are lousy conversationalists: “They believe that we use words to get others to do things, to exchange important information, and so on. Also, there is the unfortunate habit of some American men to believe that their sitting there saying nothing is a treat for others. Or they set up a joke that you have to hear to the end and then must laugh at, whether or not you think it’s funny. All too often, women pitch their voices in funny registers and fail to make eye contact, or can’t quite decide on what mode they are in: flirtatious, serious, down to earth, etc. etc.” This problem definitely exists, although not on my blog, obviously.
Please, Paul Ryan, just keep doing exactly what you are doing. It’s working phenomenally well for us: “He challenged the view that Republicans should soften their approach in order to attract centrist or female voters, who favored President Obama by more than 10 points in November. “Our critics say we should abandon our pro-life beliefs. But that would only demoralize our voters,” Ryan said. “It’s an odd strategy, I think: the cynical ploy followed by the thumping defeat.” Ryan opposes abortion rights, except when the woman’s life is in danger.”
Read about the hysteria that unleashes against victims of rape and ask yourself what kind of culture produces it.
And here is a horrifying post from a mother of a 2-year-old who is already having fantasies of him raping somebody at a party 20 years from now. This happens a lot more often that you might want to imagine. I have read and heard so many of these outbursts from mothers who believe that there is a vicious animal hiding inside their sons. If this is the reflection of yourself that you see in your own mother’s eyes, how easy do you think it is to disappoint Mommy and not rape anybody? It is just horrifying that such parents then inflict their deeply traumatized off-spring onto the rest of us.
Really interesting facts about marriage equality.
Oh God, oh God, oh God! The little turtles are back! An ocean of cuteness is again with us.
Clarissa's Blog 
Whaaaat? I wasn’t having “fantasies” about my son raping anyone. You’re deliberately misconstruing what I was saying, which is weird, because I thought we were, like, blog-buddies.
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This post sounds horrifying, just horrifying. Please, stop. This boy’s entire vision of himself forms on the basis of what he sees in your eyes right now. This is the self-image he will carry around into adulthood. And what he sees in your eyes right now is “Potential rapist!” He doesn’t deserve this. He is such a tiny little kid. Look at how many women come out of their childhood thinking they are ugly, fat, stupid and worthless because they grew up under the disapproving and critical gaze of their fathers. It’s not right to do this to little kids.
The way you see him today is what he will become tomorrow.
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“Sounds” horrifying? So … you didn’t actually read the post? That makes sense, I guess, because the way you’re talking about it is as if you haven’t read it.
I wrote a post about how hard it is to raise a boy in a culture that promotes, normalizes and even sometimes glorifies rape. I wrote a post about wanting to teach him about consent. I wrote about the natural fears that most parents have with regards to their children.
He doesn’t see anything in my eyes right now other than “adored son and occasionally troublesome toddler”. Because for one thing, I haven’t talked to my two year old about rape, wtf. And you don’t know anything about how I parent or what kind of a mother I am – you’re extrapolating all of this from one post in which I rationally discussed my fears.
Are you saying that when a mother tries to explain to her daughter the dangers of rape culture that she’s making her daughter think that she’s for sure going to get raped? And then because of that, that girl will just go out and get assaulted, all because of her mother?
I mean, whatever, though, go ahead and sensationalize it. That’s obviously what you want to do and I can’t stop you.
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There is nothing natural about your seeing a little kid as a potential rapist. Nothing natural whatsoever. Please, please, please, in the name of everything you value, just stop. Do whatever you need to do so that you stop having these fantasies about him:
And to answer your implied question: “I am only just realizing that I’m not sure how to raise my son not to be a monster” – The only way is to stop suspecting him of being one.
You are damaging the kid with this like no “culture” or “society” can even begin to do. Please, please, just stop. Stop.
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It won’t let me reply to your comment below, so I’m leaving my reply here.
First of all, these thoughts aren’t “fantasies” – some of them, the earlier ones in which I discuss what he will likely do as a teenager, are conjectures. The later ones are worries. Your use of the word “fantasies” brings an implied sexual overtone that is, frankly, disgusting.
Second of all, you know that my concerns aren’t normal or natural based on – what, exactly? Your hundreds of conversations with mothers of other boys? Your tremendous amount of time spent reading parenting blogs? I can tell you that these are worries that a lot of parents have. If you want to be lazy, you can look in the comments section on my blog and see that there are a ton of people who agree with me.
Third of all, you know nothing about me, aside from the few interactions that we’ve had which, up until now, have been friendly. You know nothing about the way I parent. You know nothing about the hopes and expectations that I have for my son. You have no call to accuse me of “damaging” my son.
Every parent worries about their children doing bad things. This is why we teach morals and rules to kids – you can’t just expect them to know how to be decent on their own. Teaching your kid that stealing is wrong doesn’t mean that you’re setting an expectation on him that he’s going to be a thief.
Grow up, okay? Just grow up. The next time you want to talk to an ally (which is what we have been until now), do it privately before you call them out. And when someone leaves a polite comment, it’s usually pretty cool to be polite back to them.
And also? Consider whether or not these recent rapes and suicides would have happened had the parents sat their sons down and talked to them about real consent. About how anything other than an enthusiastic YES should be taken as a no. About how a girl who is SO DRUNK that she is incoherent cannot consent.
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“Every parent worries about their children doing bad things”
– The need to talk yourself into believing that this is normal is understandable. But there is nothing normal in your seeing a small kid as a potential rapist. You can find this out easily on your own. Just approach parents of 2-year-olds and ask, “So are you afraid he will become a rapist?” and observe the reaction.
“And also? Consider whether or not these recent rapes and suicides would have happened had the parents sat their sons down and talked to them about real consent. About how anything other than an enthusiastic YES should be taken as a no. About how a girl who is SO DRUNK that she is incoherent cannot consent.”
– None of this is even remotely relevant to what we are discussing. Your vision of this boy is the most important formative experience in his life, together with that of his father. No society or culture can even begin to compete. You are forming him, right now. Not at 12, not at 15, not later than that. Right now you are giving him a picture of himself that he will carry around forever. And in the entire culture or society, there is one single person who looks at him and sees a potential rapist. And that’s precisely THE person who will be absolutely central to his vision of himself.
“Grow up, okay? Just grow up. The next time you want to talk to an ally (which is what we have been until now), do it privately before you call them out.”
– This sounds like I’m supposed to know who you are but I really have no idea. I just saw a post that felt like somebody punched me in the face, so I responded.
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@Bellejarblog
Why did you give birth to this “potential rapist”, first?
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“Why did you give birth to this “potential rapist”, first?”
– Hey, the kid has his uses. He can be used tow rite a weepy post to attract people’s attention. I’m sure he gives many more opportunities for narcissism.
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If she wants to protect other “potential rape victims” against this monster “potential rapist”, she should not have gave him birth first.
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Yes, but then what would she blog about?
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About real rapists.
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What a bring topic for a narcissist. No, this has all got to be about her and her imaginary suffering!
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@Bellejarblog the potential child molester/incestuous rapist
Why did you give birth to this “potential rapist”, first? To viewing yourself as a potential child molester/incestuous rapist against him?
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Unfortunately it’s the whole Christian paradigm thing. The idea seems to be that if we are on the lookout for sin, which apparently has the capacity to sneak up on the best of us, we can stop it in its tracks. But we cannot do so without being eternally vigilant, spying it out in all of its potential hiding places. Thus do parents who honestly believe they have the best interests of their child at heart set traps for their child to fall into. They combat a demon on their child that does not actually exist – until they manage to will it into life. That’s projective identification. I see a demon in you and I keep seeing one until you become that demon. Only then am I gratified that my suspicions about you have been confirmed. “Didn’t I say there was that particular demon in you? And there it is!” As Nietzsche said, the Christian determination to see the world as evil inevitably assures that it is.
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Why do you gave birth to this “potential rapist”, first?
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Wow, that is a really bizarre interpretation of The Belle Jar’s post. If we can’t contemplate our own sons crossing the line, how can we fight the culture that teaches them the line is fuzzy and gray and not really their problem?
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“Culture” is not looking at this little tot right now and thinking, “Potential rapist, potential rapist!” His own mother is. And that will have a much much much MUCH bigger impact on his life than any “culture.”
And “crossing the line” is a very bizarre and scary definition of rape, I have to tell you.
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I’m just not seeing your logic. As a parent, I looked at my daughter and wondered whether she would endure the sexual abuse I did. And that fear helped me to instill in her a sense of her own boundaries and a trust in her own feelings so that when someone made her uncomfortable, she knew what to do. I also looked at her and wondered what impact media would have on her–whether she’d think it was cool to smoke (she did) or have sex too soon (she did) regardless of the fact that I was doing my best to help her understand why those things might be damaging to her. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that my concerns reflected some sort of fantasy rays back at her and caused her to smoke cigarettes and have sex, and she did trust her feelings enough to get her out of uncomfortable/potentially dangerous situations before they got any worse.
I use “crossing the line” because the idea that most rapes happen in dark alleys and are perpetrated by strangers is a myth. Most rapists turn out to be someone the survivor knew–a friend, family member, lover. Many, many times these rapes are not “violent” in the way we’ve been led to believe rape is. And because of that, many of those same rapes are never reported. This is what has led some to use terms like “acquaintance rape” or even “gray rape” as though the lack of overt violence or force (because often the problem is lack of consent not ignoring such) to describe what happened when, for example, a friend of mine was making out with a guy and suddenly his penis was inside her, or my other friend who felt like she “let it happen” because she didn’t protest loudly enough. Or the time when I, at age 16 and already having experienced rape, resigned myself to the fact that it was going to happen whether I liked it or not and just cried until he was done and dropped me off at the 7-11.
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“I’m just not seeing your logic. ”
– If you think that looking at a 2-year-old kid and seeing him as a potential rapist is normal and not damaging to the kid, I don’t think I can help you. Parents look at their children and see potential presidents, scholars, inventors of the cure for cancer, happy, well-adjusted individuals, writers, opera singers. The quoted blogger looks at her son sees a potential rapist. Just think about it. You really, honestly don’t see a difference? His own mother!!! What kind of an idea of himself will he grow up to have if this is what his own mother thinks of him???
“I use “crossing the line” because the idea that most rapes happen in dark alleys and are perpetrated by strangers is a myth. Most rapists turn out to be someone the survivor knew–a friend, family member, lover. Many, many times these rapes are not “violent” in the way we’ve been led to believe rape is.”
– Can you please speak for yourself? The only person who “has been led to believe” these insulting and horrible things in this thread is you.
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I am speaking for myself: I’ve experienced several kinds of rape, and I’m speaking from my own experience. I’m also speaking from my experience talking to many, many people who don’t understand what rape is. And I’m speaking for my loved ones who have confided in me their stories. I’m also speaking from my experience as a parent who looked at her child and saw the potential that she might have to survive rape like I did. That did not, and in fact I’m confident it was never going to, cause her to walk out into the world seeing herself as a victim. I taught her how not to be one, and she will do the same for her kids.
You’re right: You can’t help me, and I can’t help you. We appear to be speaking different languages. Your disdain for anyone who doesn’t think as you do is not only sad, it’s toxic not only to the discourse, but to any of us silly enough to think you might be interested in an exchange of ideas. Sorry to bother you.
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No, I’m not interested in exchanging anything with such egregiously immature and abusive people. I have no idea what could have possessed you to think I would be interested in your “ideas.”
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“have sex too soon (she did) regardless of the fact that I was doing my best to help her understand why those things might be damaging to her’
– Poor kid. A prissy, intrusive, cannibalizing mother who thinks it is her role to manage and judge her sexuality. Poor, poor kid. What is it that you folks have over there, a blog for immature parents or something? I know it’s hopeless but I will still try: it is not your place to decide whether it is or isn’t “too soon” for other human beings to have sex. The need to do so betrays deep sexual problems of your own. Instead of victimizing your children, visit a sexologist already. You are an adult, stop blabbing stupidly about culture and society. Take responsibility for what you are doing to your children already.
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Yeah, I’m sure 13 wasn’t too soon to have her BF pressure her into giving him a blowjob, and I’m certain she was wrong when she came and told me about it because she felt like she wasn’t ready. My daughter is older than you are and she’s ok, thanks.
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For the especially brilliant, I will repeat: it is not your place to decide whether it is or isn’t “too soon” for other human beings to have sex. The need to do so betrays deep sexual problems of your own. Instead of victimizing your children, visit a sexologist already. You are an adult, stop blabbing stupidly about culture and society. Take responsibility for what you are doing to your children already.
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Thank you, Dr. Clarissa. I’ll be over here getting the help I so desperately need for the hangups that cause me to want to guide my child’s sexual education, and I’ll also be sure to ask why I feel the need to “abuse” you in your comments section with my crazy “ideas.”
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“Thank you, Dr. Clarissa. I’ll be over here getting the help I so desperately need for the hangups that cause me to want to guide my child’s sexual education, and I’ll also be sure to ask why I feel the need to “abuse” you in your comments section with my crazy “ideas.””
– Are you trying to offer further proof of your immaturity? There is no need, everybody has seen enough of it already.
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YES! That’s what I’m doing. You caught me!
Also, I know you are, but what am I? 😉
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// it is not your place to decide whether it is or isn’t “too soon” for other human beings to have sex.
At what age would it still be her job in your eyes? At 13 – old already. OK. What about 9-10? Or 8?
I think that sometimes not only adults can sexually and otherwise abuse chldren, but other children too, who either were abused themselves in this way or have a different problem. Till what age should a parent be involved by letting herself at least talk with a child, when this child approaches the parent and shares the story herself, like in Rosie’s case?
// As a parent, I looked at my daughter and wondered whether she would endure the sexual abuse I did. … what impact media would have on her–whether she’d think it was cool to smoke (she did) or have sex too soon (she did) regardless of the fact that I was doing my best
I am feeling like a jerk here, but, Rosie, I don’t think media influenced the behavior of your child. I think it was partly your traumas, which stayed with you and were transferred to a daughter despite you not wanting it and doing all to prevent this. Have you gotten psychological help? Sometimes it’s a money problem and people think they solved it alone, but deep inside it may not be true and children will (sub)consciously feel it.
The additional factor may be socio-economic level of the School. A survey showed that when girls see a possibility of a brighter future, teen pregnancies go down. But if they don’t see it, when school and hopes are low level, the age of sex goes down.
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“I think that sometimes not only adults can sexually and otherwise abuse chldren, but other children too, who either were abused themselves in this way or have a different problem. Till what age should a parent be involved by letting herself at least talk with a child, when this child approaches the parent and shares the story herself, like in Rosie’s case?”
– If you read the comment carefully, you will see that the daughter in question is older than I am. And the officious Mommy is still sitting there and judging – in a very public way, too – what was or wasn’t “too soon” decades ago. Ask yourself why the mother still can’t stop judging. And in a thread that is not about her or her daughter at all. Imagine your mother trawling blogs and discussing your sex life in a judgmental tone right now. How would that make you feel? And do you think that this mother is capable of stopping this endless judgment when she is around the daughter?
And then people wonder why there are so many folks who suffer from anorgasmy.
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// Read about the hysteria that unleashes against victims of rape and ask yourself what kind of culture produces it.
What kind of culture? Wouldn’t it be the same in some Europian country or in Israel f.e.? Culture of double standard derived from patriarchal, still existing part of culture.
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Speaking of UGA, my older sister currently attends there and she was recently accepted into Mercer University’s law school, even though I found a chilling statistic about the job placement for that school. It’s under 30% of graduates according to U.S. News and World Report. I have another friend whose withdrawing from UGA in order to find work and pay rent.
I’m going to link that story onto the education blog that I write for. Thanks for the find, Clarissa!
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You are welcome! What is the educational blog?
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I wrote the post here.
http://www.educationbubbleandscamreport.com/
I don’t consider myself to be that great of a writer, but basically what I did was summarize what the story was about, added some context to it, and offered my own thoughts at the end. It’s the very first post listed.
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Here’s a recipe for squash risotto.
http://myfrenchcountryhome.blogspot.fr/2011/10/this-week-were-eating-squash-risotto.html
There are so many ways to make risotto and I hope that you enjoy yours.
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Mmmm, squash! How lovely!
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I’ve read Anne’s blog. I know Anne. This post misconstrues her very rational worry in the face of all the horrible news going on right now. We all want our children to grow up and be wonderful. And some grow up and do bad things. How do we look at them as babes and make the best choices and educational options and conversations so that those bad things don’t happen. I’m sure the young men that did such horrible things in the cases of Jane Doe and Rehtaeh Parsons had parents who also dreamed wonderful things for them. And they did bad things. We need to look systemically at why those choices happened. That’s what her post is about. As for Rosie, I have no idea what you are so antagonistic about, but I think we should always be open to discussing sexuality with our children, helping answer their questions and guiding them as best we can, knowing that yes, they are individuals.
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I have no idea who Anne is. Is that the blogger I linked to?
Adults are supposed to resolve their anxiety issues on their own and not use their defenseless children as dumping ground for their fears.
“I’m sure the young men that did such horrible things in the cases of Jane Doe and Rehtaeh Parsons had parents who also dreamed wonderful things for them.”
– More likely, they fantasized about the boys raping somebody. The word “also” in this sentence of yours is very telling. In your opinion, the rape fantasy described in the OP is “a wonderful thing”? I can’t explain the use of the word ‘also” in this context in any other way.
“We need to look systemically at why those choices happened. That’s what her post is about. ”
– Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Finally, somebody gets it. You look at a kid as a potential monster since infancy, so he becomes a monster to make the parents happy.
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// Ask yourself why the mother still can’t stop judging.
Because she feels she failed at bringing up her daughter (not to make the same mistakes as she did).
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If the daughter is older than I am, this means the mother has been worrying about that teenage sex for about 30 years. That sounds normal to you? Or just a little bit obsessive?
So the daughter had sex many decades ago. Nothing bad happened since. Why is the mother still so stuck on it 30 years later?
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Now I reread. You said: “it is not your place to decide whether it is or isn’t “too soon” for other human beings to have sex.”
But previously she said: “she came and told me about it because she felt like she wasn’t ready”
So, the daughter was doing the judging herself.
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Children would say anything to placate the parents. The parents will hear whatever they want to hear and it is impossible to convince them otherwise.
We are not discussing that, however, but the mother’s need to discuss this issue 30 years later in a completely unrelated thread.
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// Children would say anything to placate the parents. The parents will hear whatever they want to hear and it is impossible to convince them otherwise.
Sometimes children do honestly regret and even fear the results of what they have done. F.e. you linked the post about torturing of rape victims, but sometimes it’s enough to give a BJob to be labeled as a s*** by peers, if the boy makes it known. Then the poor girl suffers through insults from both genders at school. For a chid-teen it’s a tragedy. No more, no less.
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“Sometimes children do honestly regret and even fear the results of what they have done.”
– Are we now discussing whether a person who is not participating in the discussion regrets the sex acts she participated in 30 years ago? How is this relevant to anything? All we have here is an intrusive, judgmental mother. All we know are her statements that she, for some bizarre reason, decided to make about her daughter.
” F.e. you linked the post about torturing of rape victims, but sometimes it’s enough to give a BJob to be labeled as a s*** by peers, if the boy makes it known.”
– I can only repeat that in some cases, it gets one labeled as a hero and in others as a slut. The latter case is always that of “Rosie’s children.”
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My nominee for mother of the year:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2303588/The-mother-says-having-children-biggest-regret-life.html
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You know why this is possible? Because of this really bizarre narrative that states that society and culture are 100% responsible for bringing up children and parents have zero influence on that process whatsoever. It is beyond disgusting that this freakazoid keeps hurting the poor children this way just to make a quick buck and everybody applauds her instead of spitting at her as the monster she is.
Instead of paying a specialist to resolve her issues, as any responsible adult would do, she prefers to dump her emotional and psychological garbage on her own children.
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May be her main issue was having children despite being The Child Free person at heart? I agree she has many issues, but the chief one is having children for others, buying into “you’ll love them later”.
If a specialist won’t make her see that having children was right for her, how would it make her love children more and benefit kids?
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At least, she could have discovered that it is time to stop victimizing them, at least after her daughter got MS at 31!!!
” I agree she has many issues, but the chief one is having children for others, buying into “you’ll love them later”.”
– Yes, narcissists always see themselves as victims of everybody and everything. She had them because it was convenient, she resents them because they didn;t turn out to be convenient, she is writing this screed because it is convenient and feeds her narcissism.
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\\ – I can only repeat that in some cases, it gets one labeled as a hero and in others as a slut.
When has giving BJ at 13 labeled a girl as a hero in a conservative area? Or at all?
How you see yourself is important, but you can’t control others’ reactions, if they were taught from birth to think of sexually active women as dirty.
Think of a girl of 13 + sex + deep Bible Belt.
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People see you the way you see yourself. In the Bible Belt or outside of it.
I asked a friend of mine (who is a few years younger than I am) whether she was popular in high school. She said she wasn’t because the really popular girls were the ones who had sex and everybody admired them. And she was mocked as a Goody-Two-Shoes virgin. This was in the US, a very conservative area.
We don’t know if Rosie’s daughter was judged or bullied by her peers but with the extremely judgmental, prissy mother she has, the chances are high.
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A better way of phrasing that would be, “People can be made to see you the way you see yourself.” In the case of children or adolescents, it is the responsibility of adults to step in if somebody is being cast in a particular way for other people’s sadistic delight.
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And who is going to step in if even in this thread we see a mother who is obsessing about a sex act her daughter engaged in 30 years ago?
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Adults these days are no longer adults. That is something I’ve come to realize. Most people throw up their arms and pronounce something that sounds like, “Let fate decide what happens to me and those around me.” I noticed it immediately when I moved from Zimbabwe in the early eighties to Australia. Suddenly everything was Disneyland and nothing was quite real. The news provided entertainment rather than information. People cast their fate to the winds and allowed it to decide for them.
I’ve also had recent clarity as to why I have developed a distaste for much of postmodernism. It reinforces this same regression as a necessity through its extreme form of philosophical idealism. If I’m not meant to make a judgment about anything because I’m not sure whether it’s happening inside or outside of my head, at best I’m forced to rely on other people’s judgments or defer to whatever turns out to transpire in the absence of my interventions. The practical ramifications of adopting a particular worldview are more important than the surface form it takes. Adults are reduced to children when they do not take up the appropriate tools of adulthood and make judgments. If they’re incapable of intervening in a situation charged up by mob mentality, they are far from being adults. And, almost nobody can do this anymore.
I didn’t see the comment on the thread, but I will look for it.
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What shocks me the most is the complete refusal of such people to engage in any self-analysis. They are like these sad little plants whose growth has been stunted artificially. You try to tell them something but they keep repeating like stupid parrots, “You don’t know anything about me.” They probably see themselves as complex and unique and not as completely vapid creatures with the intellectual depth of an amoeba.
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I used to think my experiences were unique– certainly the arrangement of my circumstances were so. It was actually very reassuring to realize that all sorts of people had also had similar experiences along with similar reactions to those experiences. it was a kind of turning point in my life was well. The “special snowflake” thing comes will all sorts of burdens, above all the need to defend oneself against the whole damned world. That’s when I began to understand that it’s the structure of experience that is more important than who experiences it. I’ve been trying to say so ever since, but apparently many people are resistant to this idea. It’s very important to experience the structures of experience you experience, but those are structures and not exactly “you”. To realize this is an enlightenment of the only sort that matters. It actually enhances your sense of being you to realize this. You can pass through all stages of life and enjoy them thoroughly as processes without feeling like the universe is making a judgement about you. This is, I think, the final resolution of what I’ve learned from Nietzsche, Bataille and Marechera. I’m pretty sure it’s what Nietzsche wanted to impart with his idea of being a “convalescent” from religion and metaphysics. One has to pretty much recover from susceptibility to illusions.
Truly, I passed through a very uncomfortable stage when I was trained to think like the majority. I could not sufficiently find my center. One is easily duped by images and illusions. That seems to be how it is for almost everybody in America, Canada, the US and perhaps Britain.
I’m looking at a video about the fights within the atheist community, right now. I see the same intellectual vacuity and vindictive pettiness.
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What even semi-normal parent sits around fearing their kid might become a criminal? And then posts it for everyone to see? I realiaze that social media is still a fairly new phenomenon, but you have to think of the effect this would have on your future teenage son if he read it. Very similar to that demented post that went viral, ‘I am Adam Lanza’s mother’.
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Oh, but who cares how the kid will feel, you know? The most important thing is that the mother successfully used him to attract attention to herself. It isn’t like he will have a life, opinions or interests of his own.
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With you totally on this one. I have two boys and I have never once even considered the thought that either might become a criminal. I don’t expect to have to bring them up not to be criminals because that thought is unlikely to enter their heads because it’s never been planted there.
I get the feeling that the search for blog material leads some people into realms of narcissism that becomes easily creepy. Of course, they don’t like being exposed as a creepy narcissistic individual, who would?! What’s amazing though is that a bunch of other potentially creepy individuals all pipe up and say “Me too!” and claim how much they identify with the blog’s content.
I read the creepy post and just felt sorry for her kid. He’ll probably be mortified when he’s old enough to read blogs and sees what his mother wrote about him. Of course, she never thought of that, she just thinks about herself and entertaining the gallery to loud acclaim.
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” I have two boys and I have never once even considered the thought that either might become a criminal.”
– Because you are normal! It is SO unhealthy to have detailed fantasies about your son raping somebody.
“I don’t expect to have to bring them up not to be criminals because that thought is unlikely to enter their heads because it’s never been planted there.”
– Exactly! This was sold as something all parents do here, but I don’t know a single parent who would worry so intensely whetehr their 2-year-olds are likely to enter the life of crime.
“I get the feeling that the search for blog material leads some people into realms of narcissism that becomes easily creepy.”
– I couldn’t agree more.
“I read the creepy post and just felt sorry for her kid. He’ll probably be mortified when he’s old enough to read blogs and sees what his mother wrote about him. Of course, she never thought of that, she just thinks about herself and entertaining the gallery to loud acclaim.”
– Exactly!!
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I am with Clarissa on this one. Tone of the piece aside (and it is a creepy tone) and understood that the writer is (supposedly) just trying to say it is important not to raise a rapist … what I object to in the piece is that it seems to confirm the idea that rape is just some form of enthusiasm.
Weird that so many people are down-rating Clarissa’s comments in this thread.
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Well, I have noticed a phenomenon on the Internet, that when a group of people want to press their ideological point, they go and down rate the statements of those whom they perceive to be in opposition. I used to wonder why why Amazon reviews on feminist texts were downgraded until I saw that it also happens on YouTube. It’s nothing to do with the content of the statements, which are rarely perused and not understood. It’s just the word, “feminism”, that people are reacting to. Mob mentality on the Internet perhaps ought not to take us by surprise.
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On Amazon, it’s the funniest thing. I write, “I didn’t like this book” and people downvote the comment furiously. But what is it they vote against? I didn’t like it, that’s the truth. It’s like they confuse the purpose of the vote with a poll on whether you have the exact same opinion of the book as the reviewer. Since a reviewer can never have the same opinion as everybody else, the whole thing is hopeless.
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Oh, because liking or disliking it connected to moral judgement and propriety. I think it would be very beneficial to separate the two, which would enable people to make such statements as, “I didn’t like the message” or “I disagreed with the message”, but “The book had something to say and was well written.”
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I agree, the Amazon rating system has become basically useless. People are no longer voting whether they think the review was useful but whether they approve of its content. Pisses me off no end.
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The tone and content are very creepy. It really does read like a “fantasy.” There ought be be some word for this kind of rhetoric, in which the writer thinks she will be getting extra points for admitting that yes, even her son, who will be raised perfectly, could still be a rapist. Thus she gets it both ways: being against rape (as I hope everyone would be) and admitting to some potential bogus “complicity” herself.
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“The tone and content are very creepy. It really does read like a “fantasy.” ”
– Right? Poor kid!
“There ought be be some word for this kind of rhetoric, in which the writer thinks she will be getting extra points for admitting that yes, even her son, who will be raised perfectly, could still be a rapist. Thus she gets it both ways: being against rape (as I hope everyone would be) and admitting to some potential bogus “complicity” herself.”
– And what a great way to get attention and compassion as a victim of the bad, mean culture!
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Wanted to share my favorite short story:
http://www.nelliemuller.com/The-Enemy-Pearl.S.Buck.htm
If you read, would love to hear your impressions.
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US supports Syria rebels, but:
Militant rebels in Syria announce merger with al-Qaeda
Iraqi branch of al Qaeda to provide half of budget to conflict in Syria, militant leader says
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2013/04/10/syria-rebels-alqaeda.html
So Israel has al-Qaeda on Golan heights now. 😦
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On PostSecret site I read:
At which institutions can TA evaluations be so easily tempered with? What about your TA evals?
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This is obviously an invented scenario. One always knows how many students were in the classroom when the evals were distributed. And one always chooses the student who will take them to the secretary’s office.
I once had a student who liked me so much that she offered to remove the unfavorable evals. 🙂 🙂 I told her not to worry on my behalf. 🙂
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