Today was very harsh, people. I went to see the doctor, and she said I have recovered from the operation and don’t need to come any more. On the one hand, this is good because I wasn’t hoping to have any complications from the C-section, but at the same time, it felt like this was now completely over. In 2013 I’ve spent more time at this doctor’s office than I did at work, so not having to go there is a huge change. So I had a depressive episode which was no fun. But then N. came home from work, and now I’m much better.
The difference between depression and grief is that depression is unrelenting. It tugs on your entrails all day and all night. Grief, however, comes over you in waves. This means that if pain doesn’t diminish for a significant stretch of time, your state is becoming pathological and you need to seek help immediately. (I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t include a little teachable moment here.)
Tomorrow we are leaving for a mini-vacation where we will try to recover physically and emotionally.