The Uncommon Common

“You know what most people lack?” my sister asks. “Common sense!”

“Well, how common can it be if nobody possesses it?” I respond

Fear of Witches

At first, my sister was willing to try these delicious grapes. But then she heard that they are called “Witches’ Fingers” and said she was too freaked out even to stay in the same room with them. The likeness with the actual witch fingers was apparently too strong.

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Fishtail

I’ve heard of many spell-checker fails but the one I just witnessed is the weirdest. I’ve been trying to write that the current political situation is a disgrace but the iPod corrected “disgrace” to “fishtail.” As a result, I’m experiencing a bout of hysterical laughter.

Frame of Reference

It’s good to have a shared frame of reference.

“What’s the password on this tablet?” I ask N.

“The Olympics,” he responds.

And I immediately know the numbers he chose for the password because for both of us “the Olympics” can only mean one thing.

Can you guess?

“Lived Experience”

The most annoying linguistic fad of today is, for me, “lived experience.” I have no idea how one can have an experience that is not “lived”. If you have experienced it, that should mean you lived it, right?

Here is an example of this obnoxious usage:

Downvotes, however, are prohibited, as we share a lot of personal stuff here and downvoting will, in many cases, serve as negative policing of someone else’s lived experiences.

I am yet to encounter a single instance where this expression would not sound extremely pompous. I need to start making a collection of all the unfortunate verbal contortions people create in their efforts to sound intelligent.