Creating an Immigrant Community

My Ukrainian friend and I got an email from a gentleman with a Ukrainian last name. The gentleman in question is a professor close by and he was happy to discover two more Russian-speakers in the area.

“Let’s meet and get to know each other!” the gentleman suggested. “You are the only two Russian-speakers I have discovered for miles around.”

We were also very happy to have been found by the Russian-speaking gentleman.

“Yes, that’s a great idea,” my friend responded in her email. “Let’s definitely get together.”

“OK, let me forward this conversation to my wife,” the Russian-speaking gentleman responded, “she manages our social life and she will set something up.”

And at that point, both I and my Ukrainian friend immediately lost all interest in the gentleman.

“He could have turned out to be a Putinoid, so it’s better that way,” the Ukrainian friend said.

Nothing is more hopeless than trying to create a Russian-speaking immigrant community. Everybody is beyond nuts.

Will There Be Spanish at Laval?

Université Laval, Canada’s oldest educational institution, is phasing out Spanish. The French-speaking university has a very good and prestigious program in Hispanic Studies but it’s being destroyed.

I don’t know what excuse is being used to do this. There is no economic crisis in Quebec. Quebec is about to explode because of the insane amounts of money in the province. Economically, the province couldn’t be doing better.  

Of course, there is a possibility of the McGill University scenario repeating itself here: the department might have just imploded because of internal dramas. Canadian Hispanism is notoriously fractious and mafia-like.

Reasonable and Effective

The vice-president of Russia is asked in an interview, “Are there any structural changes our government could undertake to deal with the current economic crisis?”

“The most reasonable thing to do,” says Putin ‘ s right-hand man, “would be to close down all schools*. That would be most effective. But our people are not ready for that yet. They are just not ready.”

This is not a joke. This is from an actual interview. Tell your favorite Leftie friend about the beautiful regime he’s supporting**.

* “Schools” doesn’t mean colleges in Russia. This word refers solely to primary and secondary education.

** For some mysterious reason, I haven’t encountered any Liberal women who are Putinoids. Only Leftist men worship him. It’s a weird psychosexual mystery.

Humorless Comedians

It is a mystery why completely humorless people insist on working as comedians:

Comedians are always supposed to punch up

; i.e., if you’re going to make fun of people, don’t make fun of people who have less privilege than you do. It’s why LGBTQ comedians can make fun of straight people, why single people can make fun of married people, why women can make fun of men.

People who use the expression “to have less privilege” should not attempt to do comedy because that’s like somebody who weighs 500 pounds doing ballet.