I can confess that I would have much preferred to hear “John Smith” than “Syed Farook.”

Hey, at least, I’m honest. I don’t want to see Trump’s smug face all over the media.

My Aquarium

I never thought I’d be one of those “keeping up with the Joneses” types but in what concerns Christmas decorations, I really am. When everybody decorated over the Thanksgiving weekend, I was incensed. We should give every holiday its own opportunity to shine and not hurry to the next festive occasion before this one is experienced in full!

I’m not going to cover the entire house with Christmas lights, turn it into a Coca-Cola bottle, or buy a huge Darth Vader that lights up like my neighbors did. But I found a better way to upstage them and make my house stand out with its decorations.

At the local Home Depot, there are these small, cheap projectors that are like strobe lights of a kind. I bought two, red and green, and they make my porch look like a giant aquarium. Here is a photo but it looks much better in real life because the lights actually move:


Sorry for the note of levity but it’s good to explore something warm and fuzzy on a difficult day.

Chicago Manual of Style

The person I hate with the blinding passion of a thousand exploding suns is the creator of the Chicago Manual of Style. 

This is the most ridiculous, counter-intuitive system of citation ever that creates nothing but dumb busywork. There is no logic behind entering the exact same information into two different places of a paper in a slightly different format.  

MLA forever!

Let the Pity Fest Begin!

The news of yesterday’s Muslim Challenge has prompted my colleagues with the last names like “Smith” and “Jones” to share touching stories of horrible victimization their British grandmas endured when locals didn’t immediately recognize their pronunciation.

The participants of the discussion are feeling suitably and joyfully victimized. Nobody who is an actual immigrant is participating in the pity fest.

(And please don’t ask why a mention of Muslims in a region with a significant African American population immediately leads everybody to think of hijabs and immigrants.)

Russians Freak Out Over the Montenegro NATO Invite

NATO has invited Montenegro to join the alliance. In case you never heard of Montenegro – and who has? – it’s a tiny little country in the Balkans with only about 650,000 people.

Normally, nobody would notice because the country is way too minuscule for anybody to care. But Russians, in accordance with the tradition started by their dearly beloved Stalin, consider Europe their property and are now freaking out.

Russia’s Foreign Affairs Minister Lavrov has been raising a huge stink, calling the invitation “irresponsible” and “a provocation.” Russia is promising all kinds of sanctions against Montenegro if it exercises its sovereign right to accept the invitation.

Why these people can’t just mind their own business for once is a mystery. In the meanwhile, in the Russian – occupied Crimea, people are exhorted only to use public toilets in groups of at least 3 and flush once, after the last of the group is done. As we say in Ukraine, these are the people who want to lecture us on how to pick our noses.