Imagine you need to carry a heavy sack of flour. When you first grab it and start carrying, it’s not that bad because you still have a lot of energy. You might not even mind the sack a whole lot at the beginning. It might even be an invigorating, challenging experience that is not unpleasant.
Gradually, though, your back begins to hurt, your energy starts to run out, you lose breath, the straps rub your back raw, and here you begin to notice the sack. A few miles later, the sack begins to make it very hard for you to walk. It’s the same sack as before but you no longer have the strength to carry it as well.
Psychological problems function like this sack of flour. They hit people especially badly when their bodies are weakened. The infamous midlife crisis, for instance, is such a time. The body is weakened by the hormonal storm it experiences and can no longer keep the problems inside. So people act out in weird ways. But the problems have been there this entire time. We often ask ourselves, “God, what’s happened to him? He’s like a different person now that the midlife crisis hit.” But he’s not a different person. He’s simply no longer managing to hide who he really is behind the socially acceptable behaviors. The poor fellow has been carrying this sack of flour for decades and can no longer pretend that it isn’t there.
This is why it’s important to start tossing things out of the sack as we age. What was easy to carry 10 years ago, might prove an impossible burden in a few years. It’s also crucial not to fixate on the current moment in time when trying to figure out what you are feeling and why. Often people wonder, “Why do I feel so shitty? My life has never been as comfortable and as secure as now, yet I’m exhausted, sad, depressed, nothing makes me happy.” The reason for the misery lies in the things one put in the sack decades ago but one is so used to the sack that it doesn’t even occur to one to look and see what’s inside.
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