Impossible to Read

Do you know those books that are so enjoyable that it’s almost impossible to read them? Because you need to stop after every sentence and let the aesthetic orgasm run its course in your brain? And they make you want to run outside, stop passersby and stick the page under their noses because they are wasting their lives if they haven’t read this? 

For instance, Hans Fallada is such a writer for me. He had an opioid addiction, by the way. Died early as a result. 


Reader fluffymog left a great comment about toddlers and control, and it’s so true that the need to exercise at least some measure of control over their world is central to little kids. 

Yesterday, for instance, Klara demanded cookies. I gave her one but she kept repeating “Mo-ah! Mo-ah!” before she even tried the one she had. So I gave her the whole box. She stuffed a bunch of cookies into her mouth, grabbed all she could with her little fists, and stared at me with a defiant look. 

“You can have all of them,” I said, pushing the box closer. 

She looked extremely happy, held the cookies for a moment, then dumped them all in the box, and ran away to her toys. She didn’t really want the cookies. She wanted to be in control, for once. 

And this is how I missed one opportunity to give her an eating disorder with “You’ll get more after you eat this one” and Co. 

Q&A about Psychoanalysis 

I got some questions about psychoanalysis in the mail and I want to answer them here. 

Is it a good idea to record the sessions to listen to them afterwards?

No. Because your memory of what you think transpired during the session is one of the most important therapeutic tools. 

How should I prepare for the sessions?

You shouldn’t. The whole point is to weaken the control of your consciousness and release everything that is kept locked in by your constant thinking and overthinking. I found it useful to start a sentence without knowing how they would end. If I begin with, “I feel that. . .” and then just let the words find me, some really surprising shit comes out. 

What I get blocked and there is a long uncomfortable pause?

Consider yourself super lucky because those uncomfortable silences is when most of the work happens. I can’t take a pause to save my life, and that’s not great for the process. 

Illinois Budget Update

So the Illinois Dems made every concession to Rauner, came up with a budget he has been demanding, conceded literally everything, and. . . of course, Rauner vetoed it. 

And finally, finally even some Republican legislators realized that Rauner is just fucking with them. He doesn’t want a budget, any budget. He wants to go on for a third year without one. To him, winning doesn’t mean ramming through his version of the budget. Winning means never coming up with a budget for the simple reason that his personal wealth grows as a result of Illinois not having a budget.

Once they finally realized they were being had by their own governor, 15 Republicans in the House broke ranks to override the veto. In the state Senate, a single Republican senator, Dale Righter, voted to override Rauner’ s veto. (Two Dem rats defected.) He has a large public university in his district, and that university is dying. Thank you, Senator Righter, for not being a partisan dick.

My admiration goes to the Dem speaker Mike Madigan who came up with the brilliant plan to reveal what Rauner was really about and fake agreed to every concession. He knew that Rauner would still veto even his own budget. That’s risky yet talented strategy needed to break the stalemate.

The House vote is on Thursday. Everybody who’s in Illinois, let’s bug our representatives to death on this. A budget is so close. Let’s fucking do this already!