The Inauguration

The conference so far rules. At the opening ceremony, the representative of the Ministry of Culture said that the DR is the home of people who worship the only true God. American academics quietly died inside in a paroxysm of political correctness.

Then the organizer of the conference, whom everybody loves because she worked extremely hard to make the event happen, gave an opening talk and, in a broken voice, shaking with tears of rage, talked about the trauma of 9\11 and the irruption of barbarity into the civilized world. American academics died quietly inside all over again because not only are you supposed to do an eye-roll whenever 9/11 is mentioned but you are also supposed to believe that there is no barbarity, just different kinds of equally valuable civilizations. 

Then very non-white Dominicans spoke with pride and admiration of their colonial cultural legacy, and American academics started dying quietly inside yet again.

And this is just the inauguration. I’m digging this. 

4 thoughts on “The Inauguration

  1. the representative of the Ministry of Culture said that the DR is the home of people who worship the only true God
    Was this just stated or was this an entire sermon?

    Then the organizer of the conference… gave an opening talk and, in a broken voice, shaking with tears of rage, talked about the trauma of 9\11 and the irruption of barbarity into the civilized world

    Was the organizer of the conference American? People can roll their eyes all they want but no reasonable outsider can say America is over 9/11 (at least not among people who were old enough to remember). And the constant terrorist acts (bombings, deliberate car hit and runs, mass shootings, hate crimes) means I’m low level furious.

    Then very non-white Dominicans spoke with pride and admiration of their colonial cultural legacy,
    That’s interesting to me. I wonder how much of that is “We’re not Haitian.”
    Of course, I come from countries which define themselves against that colonial legacy either because of a successful war for independence (don’t tell Americans they won because the British were distracted by other wars) or an effort to establish they existed well before, during, and after.

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  2. This sounds like the most hilarious conference ever.

    Can I send some of my colleagues to it? They aren’t in your field, but I would personally cover all of the expenses to get video of them sitting through that opening ceremony.

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