This article about the closure of Backpage is pure comedy. I’m sure it’s not supposed to be funny but it is.
Prostitution is perfectly fine but we are only going to write about a prostitute who did “nothing but” handjobs. Nothing too distasteful for our classy readers, please.
The prostitute has no contact information for her clients because “she cares about their privacy.” And they are not managing to find her in her “office in a nice building with a receptionist” because they are apparently brain-damaged and need to be given directions afresh every time. Through the website. Because a website is a lot more private than one-on-one contact.
And she lost all her clients not because she’s nearing retirement age but because a webpage closed. Of course. Clients are desperate to use a prostitute on a Zimmer frame. If only they could remember the address where they always see her. Drat. Old age is a bitch.
And of course it wouldn’t be a good sob story without cancer. So cancer was somehow massaged – sorry for the pun – into the narrative.
And Craigslist reduced the number of homicides by 17%. I wonder why not by 117%. It’s not like anybody is a fanatic of accuracy here.
We were talking about reporters who take bribes for stories yesterday. This has got to have been paid for by some coalition of not very bright pimps.