Royal Wedding

I’m busily unfollowing on FB everybody who is gushing about the symbolic or ideological meaning of the royal wedding. There is a limit to how much stupidity I can take.

There’s nothing shameful about enjoying a spot of gossip, and trying to pretty it up by assigning the gossip the significance it doesn’t have is idiotic.

Other than this, the groom was dense, the bride ugly, the dress stupid, the sermon boring, but Elton John had a beautiful pair of glasses on and it made up for everything.

31 thoughts on “Royal Wedding

  1. Just be glad that you haven’t turned your television on. It’s been all royal wedding, all day, and it will be through at least Monday.

    As for the groom being “dense” and the bride “ugly” — have you ever seen any wedding in the world where these statements didn’t apply?

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  2. I caught a moment or two by mistake (I was mostly on avoidance mode for this).

    The longest was during the ceremony and for some reason some guy was giving a sermon, I listened to a couple of minutes not to the sermon but the Polish TV interpreter was speaking in a ridiculous overwrought manner. Voiceover interpreter training in Poland is usually about maintaining a low monotone (chuchotage) so the audience can her the intonation in the original but he was so emotional that he sounded like a new convert trying to make sure Everbody BELIEVES becaaaaauuuusee it’s sooooo imPORTANT!

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    1. The sermon was endless and had no religion in it. It was MTD all the way. And if that’s all it is, then what’s the point of having a sermon?

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  3. I guess tastes in beauty differ. I thought the bride was beautiful. The only person I saw more beautiful than the bride was Serena Williams.

    I confess that I always regard royal events as disguised tragedies.

    The only danger is that the constitutional monarchy could evolve (maybe devolve?) back into a hereditary dictatorship within a few generations.

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      1. People ask for her nose when getting plastic surgery procedures, apparently. I don’t understand.

        Of course people overrate anything touched by celebrity or royalty. I don’t think they’re hideous but they wouldn’t excite any attention for their looks if they were normal people. They are not fat, which counts for lot when you’re over 30.

        The most unattractive thing about the groom is not that he’s balding but his messy, stifling extended family.

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            1. Actually being a royal is a lot of hard emotional labor and there’s no way that most people can do it (and sane people wouldn’t want to). Being a living symbolization of an emotional abstraction for millions of people (symbolically heading and manifesting the values of a nation state) and the constant touring and personal appearances while being held to demanding standards of etiquette and having millions of strangers pick apart your looks…. yikes.

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            2. No, they are guarantors of that nation-state. There is no nation-state without its symbols and myths. Some symbols are human, some are written, some are made of stone, etc.

              This is crucial work that they are doing just by existing.

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              1. “In the end, there will be Five Kings left:The King of Hearts, the King of Diamonds, the King of Spades, the King of Clubs, and the King of England.

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          1. hi hat

            She kicked most of them out of her life. He, for obvious reasons ($) hasn’t. “We’re going to live on a house carved out of Grand mummy’s property and she’s right next door” is a nightmare horror situation. You have no idea how many agony aunt columns I’ve read that say, “He won’t stand up to his mother/father/grandparents/sisters/whatever.”

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      2. I don’t particularly like her nose but everything else about her looks pretty to me; she has very pretty eyes and a pleasing face shape. As for facial growths, I see a small beauty mark next to her lip and a couple of freckles (maybe these are very tiny moles and I don’t realize it; either way I don’t think it detracts from her appearance.) Agreed that the groom is ugly though; that whole family is from what I’ve seen.

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  4. I actually find the universal obsession with the dress (one way or another, positive or negative) the most ridiculous part of this wedding. People focus on the dress to the effect of totally overlooking that Meghan and Harry obviously looked happy with each other (correction for pompous royal ceremony taken) and that they sneaked as much modern symbolism into the ceremony as possible. The word “obey” was thrown out from the wows, etc.

    As for potential tragedies – as someone said, “I hope she runs away and takes Harry with her” 🙂

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    1. Oh, they are definitely deeply in love, good for them. Buy I’m evaluating it as a show because I don’t know them and it’s offered to me as a show to consume. And in a show what matters but the costumes, the music, the glitz, and the starlets?

      As for running away, she’s a third-rate starlet who is about to age out of TV. This marriage is a godsend. And Harry is pretty useless, too, so it’s a godsend for him as well.

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      1. I guess we can choose what we prefer to see in it -we can choose to see it purely as a show, and see the participants as “functions”, whose only purpose is to entertain us, and complain about the imperfections of the show. Or we can take a more humanist approach and choose to see it as something about two imperfect (and beautiful in these imperfections) human beings, who, within limitations imposed on them by their circumstances, are trying to make it as much as possible about themselves, and their genuine values.
        But even if we choose to see them strictly as the actors in a show (in my opinion that would be a mistake) – what exactly we are complaining about tells more about us than about the show…

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        1. Oh! This is such a beautiful, romantic comment. Is there something really good going on in your life that you are seeing genuine values in these characters?

          I prefer to be a grinch, though. I probably wouldn’t be if I didn’t have a whole FB feed of slobbering pseudo-progressive idiocies about the gosh darn wedding.

          Henry and Meghan have a very tough future because both come from chaotic, miserable families. I hope they have hired a team of therapists to guide them through.

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          1. Thank you. However, I do not see my comment as particularly “romantic”. And I do not have anything going on particularly well in my life (nothing particularly bad either), so I hoped I reached the point where I can generate enlightened comments in my natural baseline state. 🙂 🙂
            And I agree, they both need therapists. So what? Don’t most of us need them and/or already have them?

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            1. And I agree, they both need therapists. So what? Don’t most of us need them and/or already have them?

              The answer is “no” (for varying values of denial/realism) and “no” (because most therapists are not covered by most insurances and even if they are, they are un-affordable to many who do need them).

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  5. OK, I have looked at pictures. I think she is pretty but has terrible clothes. They are not cut right and don’t fit. Kate Middleton’s clothes fit, can she maybe get together with Middleton’s fitter?

    I would like to get rid of British and Spanish royals, turn them into civilians.

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    1. To earn their pensions, they should be made to give tours of their own palaces for foreign tourists.

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    2. I think she’s the prettiest to marry into the family since his mother… I don’t get the people slamming her looks at all. I think he was a lot better looking without the beard.

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  6. \ No, they are guarantors of that nation-state. There is no nation-state without its symbols and myths. Some symbols are human, some are written, some are made of stone, etc.

    I loved watching

    Monarchy A Nation State 01 full documentary series

    In the first 2 minutes of the video he does a good introduction.

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  7. I’ve mostly ignored the royals, and I doubt I’m getting sentimental in my old age; I’m getting cynical. Never watched a royal wedding before, but this time I watched the entire ceremony in the cathedral, and a bit of the endless processionals before and after. Only part I hated was the nonsense prattle by the two MSNBC newswomen trying to act like silly girls. Or maybe they are silly girls?

    My takeaway: It was a well-choreographed show, with generally excellent execution, a display of splendid nationalist symbolism that has been perfected through centuries of practice. It generated strong and genuine emotion for millions of Queen Elizabeth’s subjects throughout the British Isles and around the Commonwealth.

    The value of such symbolism and emotion are beyond estimation. The Queen and Prince Philip and the monarchy provide a strong and patriotic spine-stiffening effect for the British people and the British nation state. By the end of the wedding, was there anyone in Britain who would take issue with the words “God save the Queen?”

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