Complicated

It’s ridiculous how much one has to think, organize, phone, pack and remember to leave the house for three weeks. I never thought I had a complicated life but it feels complicated right now.

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Bye-bye, Trinidad

The trip to Trinidad has been cancelled because we have a water main leak that the homeowners insurance won’t cover because it’s not a burst but seepage.

For those who don’t know, I was going to a Hindu wedding of a family member in Trinidad for Christmas. But this water leak will cost three such trips, so bye-bye, Trinidad.

I’m not sad or anything. At my age, you get very philosophical about these things.

Neighborly Dialogues

A rabbit was hit by a car in front of my house. I don’t think Klara is capable of understanding the concept yet, so the corpse isn’t traumatizing her. But it’s 90°, and after spending the whole day in the blistering heat, the animal has begun to stink. Plus, vultures have started to gather. None of this is particularly attractive.

I’d do something about the rabbit but I have no idea what’s done in these situations. So I approached the next-door neighbor.

“So I’ve been wondering about that,” I began, waving in the direction of the rabbit. I couldn’t say the words “dead rabbit” because I didn’t want to have to explain the concept to Klara who was listening with great interest.

“Yes!” the neighbor interrupted eagerly. “The folks across the street are really desperate to sell their house, it seems. I knew it would happen even before they put up a sign. And mind you. . .”

“No, I meant. . . that. . . over there,” I interrupted.

“The pergola!” he exclaimed. “I know! It must have cost a pretty penny, and I wonder if they are planning. . .”

“I mean the expired critter on the road!” finally I found words to describe the dead animal that a toddler wouldn’t understand. Unfortunately, the neighbor didn’t much get them either.

“Oh, I hope they don’t do much damage to the road with all their repairs. I heard that the realtor they chose has had a lot of problems. My niece’s husband says. . .”

That’s the first conversation ever I’ve had with a neighbor in this street and it wasn’t entirely unsuccessful because the neighbor did shovel the dead critter into the creek in the end.

Marital Dialogues

N: So what did you tell your friend R about me while you were in Seattle?

Me: Nothing much. She’s known you for years.

N: Did you tell her about our intimate life?

Me: Eww! Disgusting! No, of course, I didn’t. Eww!

N: Then what did you talk about?

Me: ??

N: I mean, you spent 3 days there. You had to have talked about something. And if you didn’t talk about sex, then what did you talk about?

Me: ??????????????

N: Isn’t sex all women talk about when they are alone together?

Me: #@$&$#(/&$#@(/?$&$#@

N: No, I’m just trying to figure it out. I’m sure you didn’t sit there in complete silence, right?

Me: Oh, just $#@&+($&- yourself with a $##@)++&+$@ into $$#@_+($#@ for $&&-##@.

N: But that’s what Sex and the City was like! Women only ever talked with each other about sex!

Me: I’m going to the other room now.

30 minutes later, N bursts into the other room.

N: Wait! Are you going to tell me that men also talk about something other than sex with their friends??

Me: Oh, $_&-+&_$@ it.