Weather Talk

“I guess you won’t enjoy going back to the cold weather in Illinois after spending so much time here in Florida. How cold is it there right now?” asked the fellow who sells snacks and drinks by the pool. This guy is super nice to me and refuses to take any money from me, so I didn’t want to disappoint him and reveal that in my part of Illinois it’s much hotter than in Florida in summer.

When I say I live in Illinois, the cold is the first thing people associate with it. It’s like “New York? Empire State Building! Detroit? Automobiles! Idaho? Potatoes! Indiana? Corn fields! Alabama? Sweet iced tea! Illinois? Antarctic cold!”

It often feels like people are mocking me.


One 17-year-old wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat said she doubted the widely accepted statistic that one in four college women experience rape or attempted rape.

I’m sure the 17-year-old is as dumb as one can get at that age of aggressive dumbness, but the methodology behind this “widely accepted” chestnut of a “statistic” has been ridiculed by every European feminist in existence for decades. I had no idea anybody still trotted out this dead old mare.

It would be nice if we didn’t use stupudity to combat idiocy.