NSW

When I enter “home” in my Maps app, it tries to take me to a very different place.

There’s a mystery by Sophie Hannah where a woman enters “Home” on her GPS, and it takes her to another woman’s house. And then creepy things begin to happen.

I don’t suspect N of anything, though, because my home, according to the Maps app, is in New South Wales, Australia, right next to Australian Reptile Park.

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20 thoughts on “NSW”

  1. ?? Would you please explain the title “NSW”??

    “North by Southwest” — the directions your Maps app has for your home?

    “Never Say Where” — more directions from your brainless digital app?

    “Not Safe for Work” — when you didn’t even post this under “Protected”?

    “N’s Sneaky Workings” — which you claim you don’t suspect him of doing?

    “Nothing So Special” — but you needed to come up with some title for this post?

    Come on, Clarissa, you readers are smart, but we aren’t mind-readers — so just tell us what “NSW” means already!

    Or maybe it means, “No Sensible Website reader” would even waste his time asking about the definition, if he had anything more useful to do this time of night?

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    1. I didn’t do it either.

      But I did finally figure out why it decided I live in Australia. The little puddle behind my house has the same name as a slightly larger puddle in Australia. I swear I never entered the name of the little puddle into any search engine or app because I didn’t know its name until after I started trying to figure this out.

      There’s nothing one can conceal, nothing.

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      1. “There’s nothing one can conceal, nothing.”

        -My iPhone has figured out where I work. It was unsettling, seeing the “arrived at work” pop-up at the bottom of my screen with the icon for an app I generally use when I first get there. Apparently there’s a setting on smartphones that tracks your location and the times that you’re there, and then makes general inferences about where you work or live.

        I honestly have no clue why it thinks you live in Australia, though. Even the body of water thing is strange, because it’s usually pretty good at figuring out what continent you’re on and what’s around you.

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          1. You could try going into the information and editing it manually. I don’t know what kind of phone you’re using, but in the Apple Maps app, you type “Home” in the search. It’ll offer the blue “Directions” button, but below that there’s a grey button labeled “Edit Address.” I assume there’s a similar function for non-Apple Maps apps, as well.

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  2. “New South Wales, Australia, right next to Australian Reptile Park”

    I don’t know what happens between now and then, but I for sure know how it ends…. a lone figure walking through the Reptile Park and eventually coming to stand at the fence of the crocodile pond; a glance of recognition and respect between the person and a large crocodile which slowly submerges; the figure smiles slightly, looks around, drops the only existing incriminating evidence into the crocodile pond, turns and walks leisurely away…

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    1. Shitting, yes. But do you know how many people wear monitors that track and upload their sleep patterns and enter everything they eat into an app? Who knows, there might be poop-tracking apps,too.

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      1. “enter everything they eat into an app”

        Apps are concentrated data collection systems masquerading as “convenience” Don’t put anything in one that you don’t want a whole bunch of other people to know.

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        1. My sleep patterns:
          45 minutes A.M. Saturday
          11 hours A.M. Sunday
          3 hours 55 minutes A.M. Monday
          7 hours 12 minutes A.M. Tuesday
          4 hours 37 minutes A.M. Wednesday
          3 hours 19 minutes A.M. Thursday
          9 hours 13 minutes A.M. Friday

          …”typical” week (????) for me (????)

          …just what kind of conclusion could ever be drawn about the ever-chronically ever-subjective sleeping patterns of the kind that make up mine?

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          1. ” what kind of conclusion could ever be drawn about the ever-chronically ever-subjective sleeping patterns of the kind that make up mine”

            In isolation, not much. Collected en masse…. who knows? and off the top of my head could your insurance company detect something in your sleep patterns and limit/cancel your coverage? If the police ever take an interest in you they might decide to compare your sleep patterns with your alibi…
            If you’re looking for a job a prospective employer might decide your weird sleeping habits aren’t for them…

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            1. I don’t own or use any monitors, so it’s still my secret.
              Besides, I don’t think it’s entirely my fault life stresses me out, or that the neighborhood I live in can be noisy at night or early in the morning.

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              1. \ don’t think it’s entirely my fault life stresses me out, or that the neighborhood I live in can be noisy at night or early in the morning.

                But insurance companies do not care about faults, only about their profits…

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