You know how people get together for parties and social occasions, right? I don’t understand what they see in it. Family gatherings I get. Hanging out with one or two friends who are profound, interesting people – this is something I really enjoy. But beyond that, I just don’t get it.

It’s not even about not enjoying it. That’s not the problem. There are many things people like that I don’t. Onion rings are one example. But group socializing is as if people decided to hang upside down from chandeliers. I don’t dislike it. I don’t get it.

6 thoughts on “Befuddled”

  1. “people get together for parties and social occasions”

    It’s symbolic communication and the message is “we have something in common”. Large amounts of time and effort are spent in people building and maintaining shallow social bonds, which are just as necessary for normie functioning as are familial or deep friendship bonds.
    In the western world part of the meaning is also symbolic communication that your’e willing to trade weaker family ties for a social network (of the kind that doesn’t exist in the non-western world) thus also symbolizing lesser attachment to concepts like nepotism and more to civic virtues like neighborliness.
    In the early 90s workplace social events were all but unheard of (communists don’t like people organizing without them) and friendship networks tended to be small and old and closed (low levels of social trust in action). Now, workplace socializing is much more common.


  2. I get it but I don’t like it. I don’t go to parties or social gatherings of more than just a few people. It’s just too much work and stress to try to think of something to say and to engage in small talk with the different small groups that form at a big party.


  3. “You know how people get together for parties and social occasions, right? I don’t understand what they see in it.”

    Easy answer: it’s the FOOD! I belong to a local group called the Austrian Society of Arizona, and every month they hold a potluck in some member’s house, where each family brings some delicious European dish to show off their cooking skills. Some people also feel more comfortable getting tipsy on alcohol if they’re in a party setting. The friendships are nice, too.


  4. There are quite a few people around town that I enjoy talking to for 15-20 minutes, catching up on work, family, or other stuff, but either wouldn’t be inclined to schedule a lunch or dinner or drinks with, or either they or I can’t fit something like that into our schedule very often. Or I just don’t have the energy to schedule things. This is what parties are for, a couple hours of pleasantly efficient catching up. One every month or so is good for me.


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