Unusual Challenge, Day 5

Today I made gooseberry pie. Klara hates pie, so it’s going to be for N. He’s Russian, which means he can’t live without pie.

I have something extremely unusual planned for Sunday, but I have no idea what I can fit in tomorrow of the challenge-worthy nature.

American

“Klara, in Russian milk is молоко. And a flower is цветок.”

Klara, loudly: “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God…”

Millennial Marriage

The very Millennial owner of our fitness program is trying to get people to enroll in a free workshop where she will share her wisdom on how to have a strong marriage.

The median age of the program member is around 50. The last thing we need is some childless kid who has been married all of 15 minutes to lecture us about marriage.

We are all like, “Kid. Until you’ve had children together, buried somebody together, experienced major illness together, moved across state lines together, dealt with kids’ problems and illnesses, survived infertility, depression, addiction, mental health issues, unemployment, debt, ruined credit, immigration issues, in-law drama together*, and so on and on, you don’t know dick about marriage.”

And she’s like, “Oh, but I heard this great podcast that really helped me improve my lines of communication with my husband! I want to share!”

And we are like, “Child. You are dumber than a sack of potatoes.”

I mean, we all thought it but only one very Southern black lady verbalized it.

Zero people signed up for the workshop.

* Obviously, not all marriages face all of these issues. This list is based on my experiences. But all marriages run into some of these problems and many others. And yes, my husband and I have been through all of this. (We haven’t had to deal with stuff like unfaithfulness or sexual issues, for example, but many people do. Or arguments over household and childcare duties that collapse more marriages than infidelity.) So you can understand how it feels to have some 25-year-old in a brand-new relationship try to teach me about marriage. It took a lot of self-control not to sock her in the face. I know she means well but it’s still deeply aggravating.

No Numbers

“A progressive tax code means the rich pay their fair share so that others have opportunity.”

I detest this kind of verbiage with a fiery passion. Who are “the rich”? Which income category do they belong to? What does “a fair share” mean? What is the actual, concrete percentage? Who are “others”? What’s their income category?

The lack of specificity is not accidental. It means that people like me and you will be ripped off. If that weren’t the plan, then instead of the bleating about fair shares we’d finally hear actual numbers.

All I want to know from Warren and Bernie is how much my taxes will grow if they are elected. I just want a number. Their refusal to give one makes it clear they are planning to rob me blind. If they had an acceptable number in mind, they’d reveal it.