A Better Immigrant

I have to recognize, though, that Ilhan Omar has assimilated a lot better than I ever could. She’s a lot more Americanized than I am. Look at how good she is at the favorite American pastime called “Blame the US for everything.”

There are craters on the Moon! Omar knows exactly how Americans caused them.

Carthage was destroyed! Omar will tell you all about how the horrific racismsexismislamophobia of evil Americans is to blame.

A bear farted near Novokuznetsk. . . Wait until Omar tells you how this event reveals the evilness of the Americans.

I will never be obsessed with the US to this degree. I’ve lived here for 15 years but I still don’t think this country is nearly as powerful, important, and influential as its inhabitants like to believe.

And I can’t even do the prissily outraged voice Omar mastered so well.

I’m a total failure of assimilation compared to her. I think there must be envy at the roof of my dislike of Omar. Thank goodness, though, I’m not American enough to be guilty of racismsexismislamophobia.

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6 thoughts on “A Better Immigrant”

  1. Is it bad that I know more about Ilhan Omar/AoC from your rantings than any actual news?

    I will never be obsessed with the US to this degree. I’ve lived here for 15 years but I still don’t think this country is nearly as powerful, important, and influential as its inhabitants like to believe.
    And none of those years were your formative ones and you and N are more equipped than most Americans to pack up and leave again if it suits you. I think that makes a difference.

    Thank goodness, though, I’m not American enough to be guilty of racismsexismislamophobia
    Live in hope, we’re all guilty of it! It’s international!

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    1. We are definitely not more equipped to leave than Ilhan Omar. She makes over 3 times what I do. And provides a lot less value to society, by the way.

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      1. Your husband is a statistician with IT bent, yes? And you pick up languages quite easily and you have a US/Canadian passport.
        I could easily see the two of you going back to Canada or to Germany. It would be extremely rough, but getting in wouldn’t be a problem.

        It’s the psychological burden of assimilating into a new society that would be. And you’ve made it clear that’s not something you’d want to do again at this point in your life.

        If I went back to my birthplace I’d have to treat it like it was a new society I’ve never been to because my mentality is so different than that of my cousins and my aunts. It would suck so hard.

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        1. The more money you have, the easier it is. Omar obviously has more money. So it’s not like she’s stuck here and has to perform narcissistic woundedness because there’s no choice.

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