I have to recognize, though, that Ilhan Omar has assimilated a lot better than I ever could. She’s a lot more Americanized than I am. Look at how good she is at the favorite American pastime called “Blame the US for everything.”
There are craters on the Moon! Omar knows exactly how Americans caused them.
Carthage was destroyed! Omar will tell you all about how the horrific racismsexismislamophobia of evil Americans is to blame.
A bear farted near Novokuznetsk. . . Wait until Omar tells you how this event reveals the evilness of the Americans.
I will never be obsessed with the US to this degree. I’ve lived here for 15 years but I still don’t think this country is nearly as powerful, important, and influential as its inhabitants like to believe.
And I can’t even do the prissily outraged voice Omar mastered so well.
I’m a total failure of assimilation compared to her. I think there must be envy at the roof of my dislike of Omar. Thank goodness, though, I’m not American enough to be guilty of racismsexismislamophobia.