In the Bible Belt

“Klarochka, tomorrow do you prefer to go to church or to the farm to look at ponies, and little chicks, and baby goats, and then we could have a picnic…”


“At the farm, there’s a really big sandbox, and there are bicycles and toy excavators and…”


“And there’s a butterfly garden…”

“Church!!!! We haven’t been to church for a very long time because we’ve been away on vacation. I need to go to church, Mommy!”

People here have been hinting that I’m making her go but she turned out to be a very Midwestern kid. She loves farming but church comes first.

Hope for Belarus

There’s Uber in Minsk, folks. Uber in Minsk! This gives me a lot of hope for Minsk. If you know anything about the situation in Belarus, you’ll understand me.

We had our Belarus friends over today and they told us. They have the cutest accents.

This is the table before the food was served.

Techie Sheeple

Want to attend a tech conference? Agree to get monitored everywhere and at all times, including in the toilet and in bed.

The saddest part is that almost everybody will put on the bracelets and accept the surveillance. If everybody said no, that would be it. But these are techie folks. They don’t tend to have the balls to stand up to this kind of thing.

Double-dipping in Higher Ed

What I really don’t get is the utterly insane practice of counting high school courses as college courses. Students come out of high school with two years of college already “done” when in reality they’ve done nothing but attend high school. We are supposed to take these two completely fake years of college seriously and let them graduate in two years. This is completely crazy.

I don’t know of any other country that allows two last years if high school to count as college. In Canada, there’s CEGEP but you do that after graduating high school.

We had a presentation by the admissions office people yesterday, and the numbers are crazy. This fake college credit is being assigned to crowds of students. As we were told, it’s normal to graduate high school with an Associate degree. What’s next, then? Counting kindergarten towards the PhD?

Why can’t everything count for itself? High school is high school. College is college. The worst part is that these high school courses we are forced take seriously and give college credit for are total shit. They are nothing like an actual college course.

The Mother of All Headdesks

So. The Office of Diversity and Inclusion asked me to give an hour-long talk titled “Hispanic History, Culture, Art, and Values.”

One. Hour. Long.

There’s truly nobody who despises other cultures more than lovers of diversity. Honestly, folks. How’d you feel about an hour-long talk titled “History, Culture, Art, and Values of the English-speaking World”?

This hurts my feelings. I’ve spent the last 20 years studying “Hispanic History, Culture, Art, and Values,” I’ve lived and breathed this stuff for two decades and my knowledge is still minuscule, microbic, speck-like compared to what there is. This is a beautiful, enormous, majestic culture. It spans continents and centuries. Just the variety of language alone is a subject one could discuss for hours, days, months. These are many countries, many different time periods, artists, events, are you fucking kidding me?

Hey, have you read the Bible? Can you retell it in a couple of sentences?

I just can’t even. These people.