Divided Loyalty

The analyst works miracles. I told him that Klara, who normally is very good at following instructions and is the teachers’ favorite, acts like the teacher is dead whenever I’m in the room.

Take the music lesson. We’ve been going since she was 8 months old. She loves the music lesson and begs me to sign her up. She loves the teacher because she has known her forever. It’s always in the same space, so everything is familiar.

But at the actual lesson she acts like the teacher doesn’t exist. It’s weird. I don’t mind a whole lot because the point of the music lesson is for me to have a break. But it’s still kind of bizarre because I can’t explain it.

So I asked the analyst. He said she has divided loyalty and I need to tell her that I don’t mind it if she does what the teacher says.

It felt weird to say it but I thought, why not, there’s nothing to lose. So I said, “Klara, at the music lesson it’s ok to do what Ms Ellen says.”

“Why??” Klara asked.

“Because she’s the teacher and I’m just sitting there,” I explained.

This made Klara so happy she kissed my knee. (That’s as high as she reaches).

And at the lesson, the change was enormous. She sat close to the teacher and did everything the teacher said. For the first time since 2016.

I have no idea how I was supposed to know that this is what I had to do to reassure her.

2 thoughts on “Divided Loyalty”

  1. Have you tried asking her why she wasn’t following the teacher’s instructions before talking with an analyst? What has she answered?


    1. She says, “I’m a little kitty, meaow meaow.” Or “I’m Rapunzel and the teacher is Mother Gothel.”

      If I can’t understand what’s going on, she definitely can’t. She just knows she’s reluctant.


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