College Affordability Act

Regardless of whether CAA has a chance of passing, it’s important because it gives us an understanding of the direction in which our ideological and economic superiors want to take higher ed. If this is too long and boring to read, skip to the last sentence.

Here are some of the provisions of the bill:

1. A federally mandated diversity officer on top of one million and five diversity officers we already have. The job of a diversity officer is to correct ideological infractions and implant the correct ideology. There are no thought crimes on campuses because ideological conformity is of the kind Soviet apparatchiks couldn’t imagine in their wildest dreams. So diversity officers manufacture thought crimes to justify their jobs.

2. In addition to the Title IX officers we’ve been saddled with, there is also going to be a Title VI officer. More administrative bloat, more time-wasting trainings and seminars about the value of diversity, more hysterical searches for thought crimes.

3. Colleges’ funding is tied to how many completely unprepared students they take and how much remediation they offer. Public colleges should emphasize remediation and student services above all to get funding. Colleges would have to “develop and implement evidence-based programs that boost degree completion through academic and financial advising and other student supports.” If you don’t know what this means, you are not in the higher ed system.

4. The funding of college studies is structured in a way that discourages students from working while they go to school. This would mean a skyrocketing rate of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, etc. Which will, in turn, necessitate another crowd of idiot bureaucrats on campus to address the manufactured crisis.

I truly hope nobody tries to share how they went to college in 1934 and didn’t have a job but that didn’t cause mental illness. In 1934, an alternative to a job was absolutely anything whatsoever except for staring at a darn smartphone for 20 hours a day. Students who don’t work don’t head to the library, to the gym, or to a party. They head to their dorm room to sit alone staring at a screen and feeling like losers.

5. Pell Grant eligibility is increased to 7 years. Again, for the completely clueless, this means retaining in college people who don’t need college and who are wasting their lives doing something that’s not for them. But that’s the whole problem behind this bill. Its guiding principle is that everybody absolutely needs college as a time in their lives when they are completely separated from any normal life and do absolutely nothing but get indoctrinated. If it takes 6, 7, 10 years, so be it.

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