Let’s Keep Voting

The UK election results mean that a new vote needs to be held immediately. Because in the 15 seconds since the last vote, everybody must have definitely decided they don’t want Brexit any more. Definitely. Because it’s not possible voters actually mean what they say they mean.

I’m neither pro nor against Brexit because it’s definitely nothing to do with me. But I’m horrified by the contempt for the will of the people that the incapacity to make Brexit happen revealed.

In the US they are smarter. They don’t even want to ask voters any more. Let’s just impeach instead and fuck voters, they say.

Again, I didn’t support Trump and was very unhappy he won. But that’s not the point. It’s all about the egregious contempt for all of us. And I mean, all of us. Because tomorrow you will vote for something or somebody these slick bastards don’t like and you’ll immediately become a fascist and a white supremacist entirely irrespective of how non-white and super-duper progressive you might be.

Mrs Cheapskate

So my working class friend also completely outgifted me. I now feel like a total loser.

How much do people spend on these gifts? I mean, I’m a recent friend for them. And they seem to be going all out. Am I cheap? I always saw myself as a mega spendthrift but now I wonder.

Mumsy

So remember how I discovered that somebody I thought was a friend turned out to be not a real friend and actually a very fake, dishonest person who used me?

I really freaked out about that and started fearing that I had lost my capacity to make friends. So I overcompensated and made a bunch of new friends to convince myself I still had it. Now I have a battery of Christmas gifts lined up for my new friends and I spend all week delivering them.

Among these new friends, there’s my new very chic friend. She’s a very fashionable, stylish lady. Every time I meet her, I want to ask her to sit with her eyes closed for 15 minutes so that I can study her eye makeup. She’s the “I’m flying to Vienna tomorrow for an opera and then coming right back” type of person. While I’m a “I’ve got a gift card for a new coffee shop that I’ve sat on for three months because I’m such a homebody that I can’t get my ass over to a new place three minutes from my house” type.

So today we exchanged Christmas gifts and she gave me jewelry from Nordstrom’s. And I gave her a gift from the Home Goods store. I feel really mumsy. And out of place.

But at least I’m meeting another new friend today, and I’m here chic and stylish friend, so I’m hoping it would even out.

I really miss my friend who is in Seattle because we are always on the same wavelength. I wouldn’t feel embarrassed to tell her how much I love the Home Goods store.

Appetite

What I find stupid is the idea that a low-carb diet “suppresses appetite.” It doesn’t suppress appetite. It’s simply that everything you are allowed to eat is so boring, one-note and unappealing that it’s easier not to eat at all.

Have I already talked about how the keto diet caused the discovery of the Americas? Let’s rename Columbus Day to keto day.