Crisis Correspondence

Businesses are understandably worried about survival these days. They address this anxiety by filling customers’ inboxes with deeply idiotic emails.

“Date Night In?” asks a local clothing store in the subject line.

No, you smug bastard, actually we are going to a popular restaurant and then to an art exhibit while our kid is at a sleepover with a bunch of friends. Of course, it’s date night in with our kid jumping on our heads non-stop. Got any more questions?

Rule #1 of crisis correspondence:

If you want people to click, don’t be a clueless dick.

2 thoughts on “Crisis Correspondence”

  1. You’re mad enough that you wrote a blog post. Success!

    But seriously, there are whole swathes of my wardrobe I have no use for since I’m supposed to be under a stay at home order in my county and state.

    At least they are trying to remind you of a reason to switch out your clothes other than “laundry day.”


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