NorKo Obituaries

Let’s come up with our own versions of Kim Jong-un’s WashPo obituary.

Kim Jong-un, an austere leader who at least never forced Lysol down the throats of his people, unlike our fascist president.

10 thoughts on “NorKo Obituaries”

      1. “Shit, did I jump the gun?”

        Well, the train hasn’t left the station, literally.

        Satellite imagery is currently observing the special express passenger train that carries Fatso everywhere he goes when he travels about (so, among other things, spies can’t collect samples of his urine and other bodily wastes to analyze their contents). That train pulled into the station at Kim’s luxury vacation getaway four days ago (where Kim underwent emergency cardiac surgery), and the train hasn’t moved since then.

        I wonder if Trump sent him a get-well card.


              1. “Isn’t the guy young, anyway?”

                He’s 36 — old for a very obese diabetic who never exercises and has abused his body all his adult life by overeating luxury feasts and getting drunk on the world’s most expensive liquors while his people eat grass.

                He’s always had food tasters to make sure nobody had the chance to poison him. The military has always protected and hated him, and I’m sure his older (smarter?) sister is hoping that he croaks, and she can somehow maintain the mystic family cult-of-personality with the clueless population, and thus force the army to install her as the new absolute leader.


              2. Wow, he’s younger than me. That’s pretty incredible. I was sure he was in his fifties.

                The sister looks young and pretty. I wonder how fast she’ll get to look like him once she is in charge.


  1. Kim Jong-Un was an austere secular leader with such an exemplary record on women’s rights that his sister is now set to take the reins of power and become a feminist icon, inspiring young women the world over…..

    My hot take on what happened: An inside job by a faction who wanted to off him before he got them and/or he was getting too greedy for the liking of China (which has been economically colonizing the north for some years now).

    My prediction: The sister will at most become a power behind the throne (has there ever been a female communist or other type of totalitarian dictator?)


    1. Wow, it’s actually worse than “austere leader.” People are seriously saying that North Korea is superior to the US because it’s finally going to have a female leader.

      And these people haven’t even heard about Catherine the Great.


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