Annoying COVID Phrases

These are the phrases that have been used to dupe us so many times that they now provoke nothing but derision:

– “two weeks behind Italy.” We will be told we need to hide from normal life long after Italy will forget there was a coronavirus. But we will still be two weeks away from where Italy was in March.

– “in two weeks” in any context now makes me break out in hives.

– “flatten the curve” should be somewhere up there with “weapons of mass destruction in Iraq” in terms of duping the public into something unnecessary and extremely costly. We’ve flattened the curve, we’ve bent the curve, but the lockdowns are tightening. What? They aren’t where you live? Then your governor must be a Republican.

– “stay home save lives” and “we are in it together” are a new way of saying, “I still get a paycheck.”

– “listen to science” means “get attached to the first piece of information on COVID you ever heard like it’s an article of faith and don’t abandon it no matter what new information comes in.

What am I forgetting?

5 thoughts on “Annoying COVID Phrases”

  1. Cuomo is easing restrictions in New York. Elective surgeries can now resume for most of the state, which is great news.


    1. This is great!

      I’m afraid here in Illinois we will be the last in the nation. Today our governor announced some insane plan to hire a huge number of people who will learn to do contact tracing through apps. This is all a plan for the future. Knowing how effective our state government is, it will take a couple of months to get this show up and running. It’s seriously crazy.


  2. Good list.

    “Novel” coronavirus. We are exposed to novel viruses every day; we are exposed to coronaviruses every day. We are almost certainly exposed to novel coronaviruses every day. Viruses have been around for a billion years, are ubiquitous everywhere people live, and mutate into “novel” forms constantly; humans coevolved with viruses, meaning if novel viruses could kill us off, they’d have done it a million times by now. If mere novelty made a virus super-scary fatal, none of us would be here.

    Fatality rate . They almost always mean Case Fatality Rate, which simply is NOT the fatality rate, and will overstate the real fatality rate (how likely you are to die if you catch the bug) enormously. The most current data suggests the CFR is about 30 times higher than the actual fatality rate.


    1. The main novelty factor is that COVID is novel for the health-care system. Patients were receiving zero care until they ended up in the ICU.

      Once nurses and paramedics are trained to treat it, which should have happened already, the fatality rate will drop enormously.


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