Mask Advice

I have a friend who is in a healthcare profession and is extremely health-conscious. Gets really annoying sometimes with his perfectly balanced meals, endless workouts, and healthy lifestyle advice. He’s also an extremely polite person who hasn’t used anything remotely resembling a swear word in all the years I’ve known him. He’s the kind of fellow who drops a rebar on his foot and yells, “Ay, this was so unfortunate! I’m not enjoying this at all!”

“So what do you think about mask wearing because of COVID?” I asked him cautiously.

“Fucking stupid shit, those stupid damn fuckers with their stupid fucking masks, fuck all that shit!” the friend said.

Now I’ve Seen Everything

A group of elderly people are having a yoga class in a freshly paved parking lot in front of the gym. It’s 93F, 78% humidity, and the parking lot is busy with cars of the gym patrons who are coming to exercise indoors.

“This weather is worse than Africa,” said my friend from Africa. “I feel like I’m going to die.”