Speaking of Tongues

I was browsing online for recipes that use beef tongue and came across a vile, vile concoction called “lengua tacos.” The whole point of cooking tongue is to enjoy the extremely tender texture of the meat. What kind of a bizarre individual slaughters herself cooking the tongue for hours (that’s how long it takes) only to shred it – which will of course dry it out – and then dry it out some more by sticking it on tacos. And then kill every ounce of flavor by pouring sauce on it to make it less dry?

That’s Mexican cuisine in a nutshell. Dry everything out like a bastard and then smother it in something sticky to mask the dryness.

By the way, tongue is expensive here. Back in the USSR it was one of the very few cuts of meat that were accessible and affordable for the social dreck that was intelligentsia. This is why I always knew how to cook offal but only learned what to do with a steak recently. My mother still doesn’t fully know what steak is. She thinks you have to beat it with a pallet for 20 minutes before you can cook it.

12 thoughts on “Speaking of Tongues”

  1. I once had the ‘ozorki’ (tongues*) in horseradish sauce in a cafeteria for university staff…. I took one bite and it was the most horrible thing ever… not the taste but the sensation of biting a tongue was…. yikes! I very nearly threw up.

    After a few minutes when I felt brave enough to continue I cut the tongues up into the smallest pieces possible and it was okay. I’ve had them a time or two since and always first cut them up so there’s nothing to physically remind my mouth what it is.

    *not sure if pork or veal…

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  2. I have eaten lengua tacos that were not anything like what you have described. The lengua was cooked so that it was very tender then sliced thin to go on the taco. What you put on a taco as condiments is your choice.

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  3. I think that you meant to say that your mother beat steak for 20 minutes with a mallet, not a pallet. That is, of course, unless there was a shortage of basic cooking utensils back in the old country and/or your mother is tremendously strong.

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    1. This reminds me of how I referred to a facet as a faucet three times in a single article. That was embarrassing. 🙂

      Of course, it’s a mallet. 🙂

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  4. “I referred to a facet as a faucet three times in a single article.”

    I was confused for (just) a second because in Polish ‘facet’ ( is a guy…. “why would she call a guy a faucet?”
    But I’m a little punch drunk – I had to download about 90 pictures of final exams (somebody’s great idea – students work while professors spy on them like the Stasi through microsoft teams and then the students photograph their work and send it…. I effin’ hate remote teaching and anyone who claims to like it is either lazy or crazy….

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