Kids’ Play

Klara and I are playing that she’s a little unicorn and I’m an evil witch who stole her and is pretending to be her mommy.

“You are a bad mommy!” she exclaims. “You don’t take good care of me and you always call me names!”

“Yes, I’m a bad mommy,” I hiss. “I enjoy mistreating you!”

Then I turn around and discover a group of strangers staring at me with shocked and disgusted faces.

Being a parent is an exercise in constant humiliation.

4 thoughts on “Kids’ Play”

  1. Yeah, I know how it feels to be publicly misunderstood.

    Some thirty years ago, I was shopping in a supermarket with my girlfriend of the time. She unexpectedly stopped right in front of me, causing me to bump into her.

    I responded in a voice a bit too loud, but that she would have understood as a joke: “Lookout, sister!”

    Three other women in the aisle went into a panic. One of them almost dropped her grocery bag, catching it at the last second. A second glanced fearfully at her husband for support, and they both just stared at me with wide eyes. A third woman turned and hurried away.

    I was over six feet tall and fit enough in my mid-forties to be a threat, and I realized rather belatedly that now that I was an adult, I needed to behave like one in public.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. When my sister was little, she pointed to a bottle of tequila (my mom was getting something from the liquor store) and said, very loudly, “That’s what you put on my spaghetti!”

    It was not, in fact, what had ever been put on her pasta in her life. (She thought it was olive oil.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My father thought it was funny to teach my sister to call lemonade beer when she was a kid. He changed his mind when at a store she started loudly to demand that he buy her beer “because I drank all we had from last week!”


  3. My older sister once complained to her teacher about having to go around the edge of her room in the morning, in order to avoid the puddle of volts on the floor, which had trickled out of the light fixture while the lightbulb was unscrewed. This resulted in one of many, many parent-teacher conferences… My father delighted in telling us outrageous lies.

    Liked by 1 person

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