There are things that are done to us and things that we do. I don’t like dwelling on things that are done to me. It’s loserish behavior that turns you into a perennial victim.
This doesn’t mean that things that are done to us don’t exist or don’t matter. They absolutely do. But fixating on them brings nothing but hurt and resentment. It’s largely useless. Look at the wokies with their endless lists of grievances and their pathetic pouting. Who wants to be like that? Definitely not me.
This is why in every contretemps I like to concentrate on what I could have done differently to get a different outcome. It’s more productive and eminently more grown-up.