Our obese and corrupt governor sent every resident a hysterical text message yesterday, ordering us to stop going to work or anywhere else and stay inside.
The local* restaurants, gyms, salons, bars, and stores are all open and filled with happy customers.
A group of students wrote to say they are spending the break in Florida.
People are finally waking up.
* Meaning, not the chains. The chains are doing something weird, placing four-wall tents outside and pretending that sitting inside outside us healthier than sitting inside inside. I’m guessing our governor has invested into a tentmaking company.