So I’ve got hair, right? Everyone has seen my hair. I’ve got oodles and oodles of hair. I need to keep the hair under control but it’s a rare hair clip, hair band or hair controlling device that can dominate my crazy Jewfro.
There’s a store in Naples, Florida where I go every year to stock up on gigantic, industrial-strength yet extremely pretty, rhinestone-covered hair gear. I wear it out in a year and the cycle continues.
So I come to the store today and what do I find? They have pivoted away from hair gear and towards face diapers for covidiots. Masses and masses of masks. Rhinestones, sparklies, unicorns, saccharine designs of such vulgarity that my artistically gifted child almost threw up.
Even this little yearly ritual was stolen from me by the COVID-whisperers.