I swear this is a true story.

I was telling a friend today about some of my experiences with the healthcare system. She grabbed my arm and exclaimed, “I love talking to you! It’s such a relief! So many things in my life that I attributed to racism – they happened to you, too! This means people are not all racist. They are simply incompetent and useless! I’m so glad!”

Wow, Naomi Wolf went on Tucker, I can’t even. What’s happening, wow.

She said that we are experiencing authoritarianism, that the state is invading our bodies, crushing our freedom of movement, destroying the constitution.

There are people on the Left who hate this police state existence. There are only two of them but they exist. I’m so glad!

Wolf said “we are witnessing a merger of corporate power and state power that is similar to Italian fascism of the 1920s.” She also said “these are totalitarian policies.” Unbelievable! I’m so glad.

Now let’s wait for at least one not entirely bamboozled leftist to wake up to the totalitarian nature of the “decolonize math” branch of leftism.

I made a new friend and spent two weeks before our first joint outing breaking my brain trying to figure out why her last name and her husband’s face look so familiar.

Finally, after a superhuman effort of willpower I realized that he’s the local political boss to whom we owe the fact that all our businesses reopened on June 1. I followed his struggle against the corona-insanity all summer and happily voted for him in November. It’s thanks to him that I go to the gym, the salon, and my favorite breakfast joint.

That it took me so long to figure it out is a testament to my overall cluelessness.

I had to observe a colleague’s online course today. He’s a very experienced teacher, very talented, he’s trying very hard but oy. Oy yoy yoy. It all looks extremely painful. I’d rather eat my computer than torture myself like this.

People, come back to the classroom. Do yourselves a favor.

And by the way, in breakout rooms all of the students switch to English even when they see that the department Chair is there observing. In the classroom, you immediately hear and ask them to go back to Spanish. In breakout rooms, it’s impossible to control. So you are wasting yours and the students’ time with this “remote learning” crap.

Why do these people hate the English language so much? Why not say “she benefited from programs” instead of this word soup of “has living experience having benefited”? These are educated people. They must know that this sounds incomprehensible. I mark “has experience having” as a mistake in my Freshman courses.