Isn’t it funny how it’s always 11? It’s been two decades of always and only 11. I mean, what are the odds?

The odds are probably also 11. In 11 million.

A new chapter in the “there are no open borders” fairy tale:

But hey, just so that nobody thinks it’s a partisan fairy tale, here’s a Republican contribution:

I slaughtered at the yearly budget meeting today. Received so many compliments that I even felt embarrassed, which is unusual because I have a pretty high opinion of myself.

As a result of me producing such a great, problem-free budget, I now have the green light to resuscitate our long-dead Russian program and hire a person to teach Russian.

Last year it took two meetings of two hours each to figure out the budget we had before I became chair. Now the meeting took 15 minutes and most of it was taken up by the compliments.

It’s so great no longer to be the low-achieving department that everybody can’t stand. I’m going to have a gigantic burger to celebrate.