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Can’t Big Pharma Hire Somebody Less Silly?

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Clarissa

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When you get a troll come to the blog and suggest that without the HPV vaccine we would all have an epidemic of the Bubonic plague, you realize that the pharmaceutical companies have been trying to save on trolls they pay to promote their cause online. So they started buying very cheap, really stupid trolls who make a joke out of the noble endeavor of getting all Americans on as many meds as humanly possible.

Remember when Bush pushed multi-billion handouts to his buddies through Congress in 2008? The trick used to achieve that was to repeat ad nauseam that if Blankfein and Co didn’t get this huge gift, we would immediately find ourselves in the midst of another Great Depression.

It’s the same strategy, really. Think meds are overprescribed in the US? Bubonic plague will descend on you!

Don’t want to support Goldman Sachs with your money? The Great Depression is coming!

Not sure that it makes sense to invade yet another country? Terrorists! Bin Laden! Ah, he’s dead? Well, still, terrorists! They are coming! Right now! If you are still not convinced, go take some pills, see if that helps.

22 responses to “Can’t Big Pharma Hire Somebody Less Silly?”

  1. namnezia Avatar
    namnezia

    Hahahahaha! SciLiz you never told me about the payments you were getting for promoting the HPV vaccine! How do I get in on that pharma-shill bandwagon so I can too troll some blogs while I fire up the Bentley and head out for my retreat in the Hamptons?

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      I already told you that your attempts at humor are really not funny. Aren’t you tired of looking like a fool? I understand that a troll like you has nothing else to do but spout garbage but maybe you should try reading a book? Taking walks or running around the block might help you clear your mind and reduce your hysteria. Just think about it.

      A little hint: there is no Liz here. You are hearing voices in your head.

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  2. namnezia Avatar
    namnezia

    Ahahahaha! I guess your humor is right on. Thanks for making the internet such an amusing place.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      I understand that, as a fan, you equate me with the entirety of Internet. I’m very flattered and touched. However, in the spirit of full disclosure, I didn’t make the Internet. All I do is write this one blog. Apparently, I do it so well that for some people my blog equals the entire world wide web now.

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  3. El Picador Avatar
    El Picador

    Remember when polio and smallpox and measles used to kill and cripple people? When a bacterial infection pretty much meant your ass was grass. Yeah, those were grand times, you silly Pathogen Shill.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      And then HPV vaccine came and cured all that! Yippee!

      Have you not been ridiculed enough, you stupid stupid jerk?

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    2. Funky Fresh Avatar
      Funky Fresh

      Maybe they’re ok because no one claimed they cured plague? Way to ruin a perfectly good vaccine with your outlandish claims, SciLiz!!!

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      1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
        bloggerclarissa

        It’s very scary when people talk to themselves or to voices in their heads.

        Who are “they”? And why are you talking to somebody who doesn’t participate in the thread? Or is that a part of your split personality disorder?

        The advent of freakazoids to the blog continues. It isn’t the first and it isn’t even the most inventive group of trolls. The MRA freaks and the crazed homeschooling crowd were a lot more fun.

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  4. terrifiedtabetic Avatar
    terrifiedtabetic

    Amusing mix of logical fallacies on the part of our host…

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      It must have taken terrifiedtabetic a while to come up with this particular inanity.

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  5. terrifiedtabetic Avatar
    terrifiedtabetic

    I was referring to your idiotic conflation and intentional distortions. When s/he mentioned bubonic plague, I’m fairly certain s/he didn’t mean we reduced that by vaccination (in fact, it’s not clear the Black Plague was bubonic plague, and bubonic still exists, even in the US.

    The basic point was that we have eliminated/reduced many, many infectious disease and their sequelae, and the best retort Our Honored Host could come up with was “YOU MUST BE BIG FARMA SHILLZZZ!!!”

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      ‘we have eliminated/reduced many, many infectious disease and their sequelae”

      -By “we” do you mean you and your friends? Or was it a royal we? Some healthy self-esteem you’ve got there, buddy.

      I don’t know what SHILLZZZZ stands for but, believe me, nobody is attacking the inventor of the polio vaccine (with whom you seem to identify for some strange reason) on this blog. That guy was a hero and a benefactor to humanity. Why you suddenly want to pretend you have something to do with his achievement is puzzling.

      Tell me, how many infectious diseases have you personally reduced or eliminated?

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  6. terrifiedtabetic Avatar
    terrifiedtabetic

    Quite a few actually, by the judicious application of modern medical knowledge.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      Oh, you are just a crazy person. OK, you should have just said so. Have you had these delusions of grandeur for a long time now? Do you sometimes also think you are Napoleon? Or Alexander the Great?

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  7. terrifiedtabetic Avatar
    terrifiedtabetic

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! You have no idea whether your talking to the clerk at WalMart giving out flu shots, the Surgeon General, or Bill Clinton’s dog. Your idiocy truly knows no bounds.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      You are now banned for being a stupid, crazy hysteric. Bye bye, jerk.

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  8. El Picador Avatar
    El Picador

    Wait…you ban people for being stupid, crazy and hysterical? But that would make you ban…

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      You! OK, you are the next candidate for banning since you asked for it yourself.

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  9. MonkeyPox Avatar
    MonkeyPox

    Dissent is a terrible, terrible thing.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      Oh, I know! The moment I express any opinion that goes outside of the bounds of the purely conventional, a crowd of haters descends on my blog and tries to shut me up. In the 2 years of blogging this happened several dozen times. It’s sad how people can’t put up with somebody having an unexpected opinion. 😦

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  10. MonkeyPox Avatar
    MonkeyPox

    It is one thing to choose your opinions, another altogether to chose your own facts. But it’s your blog, and if vigorous debate annoys you, you have no obligation to tolerate it.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      You are right, I can do absolutely anything I want on my blog. We have vigorous debates going on in a variety of threads. Feel free to join!

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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