Here is a funny story that is dirty in a literal sense, which is why I didn’t put it in the “Dirty Jokes” thread.
Once my mother bought a three-liter jar of fresh sunflower-seed oil. As she was carrying it into the kitchen, the jar slipped out of her fingers, crashed on the floor, and cracked open. The oil splashed all over the kitchen.
“Praise the Lord!” my father exclaimed immediately. “Thank you, thank you sweet Jesus in heaven!”
“What are you so thankful for?” my mother asked, forgetting about the oil for the moment.
“I’m just so thankful that it wasn’t me who dropped the jar!” my father responded.