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The Psychology of Buying Pants

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There might be lucky people living on this planet who actually enjoy buying pants. I haven’t met them, though, and I’m not one of them. The entire process of choosing pants, trying them on, and then paying for them puts me in a vile mood.

So I have developed a psychological mechanism of alleviating the suffering that accompanies the act of pant-buying. I usually get a pair of pants that is guaranteed to be too big for me and try them on first. After that, I emerge from the fitting room and proudly announce, “These are too big! Can I have them in a smaller size?”

The strategy usually works great. Today, however, it backfired. I wear size 14, so I grabbed a pair of pants in size 16 and happily headed towards the fitting room, imagining how glad I will be to discover the unsurprising news that they are too big for me.

Imagine my horror when I discovered that I could barely drag these size 16 pants past my knees. The humiliation I experienced was intense. Thank God in heaven I had enough presence of mind left to examine the pants carefully. When I did that, I discovered that a cruelly careless store assistant had placed size 6 pants on the size 16 hanger.

I did end up buying two very nice (and extremely cheap) pairs of pants. But the trauma that this unfortunate mistake caused me is still with me.

18 responses to “The Psychology of Buying Pants”

  1. Tim Avatar
    Tim

    I do that too 😀

    Another thing that helps reducing the terror of buying new pants is to do it quick and painlessly. Just take the first pair that looks good enough, fits and is affordable and you are done!

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  2. nominatissima Avatar
    nominatissima

    Yea, pants buying is awful. I’m about a size 14-16 too, and need to pluck up the courage to go to a plus size store and pick some out that actually fit, because I’ve been living in skirts, and winter is coming.
    I don’t mind careless store assistants as much as I do pushy ones, “Oh, you *must* buy this, you look darling in this!” Thanks, but I can see the mirror, you liar.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      I know! I also hate it how many store assistants refuse to believe me when I say that I have very sensitive skin and can’t wear scratchy fabrics.

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  3. anon Avatar
    anon

    I get through it by acting haughty. My state of mind is something along the lines of “How dare you, company, not make pants that fit me!? I am the customer, and I am always right, and therefore your pant designs are wrong!” (Of course one should not treat the salespeople with the same disdainful attitude.) Which also helps me from spending too much, because everything must be *perfect*. And then when pants finally do fit, I “benevolently” reward them by buying 10 pairs of the same cut in every different fabric they have (mostly an exaggeration… mostly).

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      I admire your psychological resilience, Anonymous!

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    2. Lindsay Avatar
      Lindsay

      “How dare you, company, not make pants that fit me!? I am the customer, and I am always right, and therefore your pant designs are wrong!”

      Ha, this is me, too!

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  4. Helena Suess Avatar
    Helena Suess

    My partner and I have largely given up on the store experience and now order pants from our favorite retailers online because you would not believe how fucking difficult it apparently is for the local Old Navy to stock 0-short and 12-long.

    Yes we are like Lenny and George only I don’t really care for rabbits.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      When I accompanied N. on his most recent pant-buying trip, I at first felt very vindicated. I even had a little Schadenfreude going for a while. But then my compassion overpowered the nasty feelings and I felt deeply sorry for his plight.

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      1. Lindsay Avatar
        Lindsay

        I always shop with my mom, but we usually split up; the last time we went, though, we didn’t, and I got to see how limited her options were in either Petites or Short, and she got to see how limited mine were in Long.

        (Helena, are you the 12-Long? I wear that size too sometimes! Yay! Or not-yay if we’re ever in the same store and there is only one pair left …)

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      2. Helena Suess Avatar
        Helena Suess

        “Helena, are you the 12-Long”

        Yep that’s me.

        I just checked out your blog and wanted to tell you that Eliot’s “The Waste Land” had a big deal to do with why I’m now an aspiring lit scholar. He was my favorite when I was a moody wanna-be modernist pre-twenties-something. I didn’t know that about the Ricardian rose, though. House of York represent!

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  5. llama Avatar
    llama

    Once you get to the age where nobody is looking at you anymore (happens to men and women) then you can get really lazy. Find one brand that fits and keep on buying it (if possible do this online so as to avoid the store experience).

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      I’m an educator. I get stared at and get my wardrobe obsessed over by students on a regular basis. I don’t think I’m very likely to retire for a very long time, so I’m doomed to worrying over pants. 🙂

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  6. Lindsay Avatar
    Lindsay

    I might be one of the elusive folks who actually like pants shopping; I like getting new clothes in general, and can usually find some that fit well. (Like I commented over at nominatissima’s blog about this topic, I am somewhat tall and need pants with longer inseams. This means that my selection pool is smaller than a shorter person’s, so I don’t always find anything that looks like I can wear it; I wear a medium size, usually 10 or 12, and apparently that is the size range that most other taller women inhabit, so often those sizes have vanished by the time I get to the store. So I always have to be prepared for the possibility that I will leave the store without getting any pants. I think this relative scarcity might actually help me not see failing to find pants on a given shopping trip as a failure on my part; it’s more, “oh, they don’t have any this time. Guess I’ll come back next season.”)

    Also, even though I am big (I might wear a slightly smaller pants size than you, but I weigh maybe 210 pounds on a 5’8″ frame, and wear a much larger size on top than on bottom due to broad weightlifter’s shoulders and thick arms), my size is not an emotional sticking point for me. I worked hard to get this big, and my size is reflective of my great physical strength, of which I am very proud. So if I can’t find clothes that fit, well, at worst I might be annoyed at the store for not carrying a bigger size. I will never feel bad about myself; it’s actually never occurred to me that anyone other than the people making and selling the clothes would be to blame for clothes not fitting me!

    So I guess the key to happy (or at least not-unhappy) pants/clothes shopping is not to attach any emotional or moral significance to being a certain size, and focusing on the bright side, which is (hopefully) walking out with a few new pairs of pants that are comfortable and flattering that you feel good about wearing.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      It’s well-said but it’s much easier said than done to avoid castigating oneself for being a failure at pants. 🙂

      Of course, swim-suits are even worse.
      Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

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      1. Lindsay Avatar
        Lindsay

        “It’s … much easier said than done to avoid castigating oneself for being a failure at pants.”

        I know; I thought of that shortly after I sent my comment. “Oh, crap, that’s not really very helpful, is it?!”

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        1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
          bloggerclarissa

          No, it’s helpful to get reminders that one’s attitude to pants is kind of unhealthy. 🙂

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  7. JB Avatar
    JB

    I hate shopping for clothes. I’m so short and skinny that I have trouble finding things that fit well. Shirts are especially hard for me to buy. Men’s sizes are usually cut for guys taller than I; boys’ clothes often look childish and aren’t usually made in slimmer cuts. I guess this is pretty picky, but I’m sick of feeling vaguely dissatisfied with 95% of my wardrobe.

    Jeans are the pretty much the only thing I don’t mind shopping for. Since I always buy the same brand and style, I can just go to the store and get a new pair without even trying them on. I have been wanting to start wearing some pants other than jeans, but I just can’t face the shopping trip.

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  8. Ol. Avatar
    Ol.

    I am mourning. My favourite boutique in Montreal, Matinique, closed down. It closed a couple of weeks ago and now Matinique only has stores in Europe. I cannot even order clothes online because they do not ship clothing items to North America. This is sad because it was the only place where I could find shirts that fit me well.

    Now I have to look for this particular brand on ebay. Sigh…

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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