In find it especially lovely when the day before the final exam, a student sends me the following email (this is the entire text of the email with no editing on my part):
i got a zero on the final essay so what am i suppose to get a bad grade or what i need a good grade in this course so what do i do now
Not to get all Ayn-Randian on people, but I find this reference to what the student needs to be especially jarring. Why exactly am I supposed to care about your needs, you strange creature? Have you done anything to motivate me to care about what you need? I needed you to participate in your class sessions and I assigned 20% of the final grade to participation to motivate you to speak in class. I needed you to write a final essay and offered all kinds of assistance. I also needed you to learn how to write an acceptable email in an academic setting and I dedicated 30 minutes of class time to a Power Point presentation on the subject.
So what exactly is supposed to make me care about your unreasonable needs right now?
Current mood: very annoyed.
P.S. Three hours before the final exam, I meet this student in the hallway. He pretends not to notice me. It’s a really smart move to be rude to a professor on the day of the final when you know you’ve already failed the essay.
P.P.S. I’ve scheduled a spa session for next week because teaching freshmen this year has made me kind of bitter. People used to call me Little Miss Sunshine, which was annoying to a woman of my age, but I’d rather be that than Old Mrs. Winter Storm.

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