I just received the following email from a student:

hey here is the first essay it was due today right?

In my culture, addressing anybody with “hey” is extremely insulting, so I’m tempted not to accept this assignment. But now I’m wondering whether English-speakers find this more acceptable. Is this a normal thing to do?

48 responses to “Is This Offensive?”

  1. Titfortat Avatar

    Lol, you should fine the parents for that one! 😉

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      What a hugely helpful and relevant answer. I feel extremely enlightened by it.

      Like

  2. Leah Jane Avatar
    Leah Jane

    In Native American culture, it’s fairly okay to address someone with a friendly “Hey!” (For proof of this, see the movie “Smoke Signals”, and all its instances of “Hey Victor!”) but it might not be as welcome by other cultures in North America.

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  3. Izgad Avatar

    At most tell the student you do not like being addressed with “hey.” Beyond that do not make a big deal about it.

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  4. Matt Avatar
    Matt

    Would agree with other comments. Its not meant as an insult. However, its obviously not overly professional. Either just comment on it to them in an email about professionalism.. or perhaps make a larger comment around how little things (don’t just reference this example) make a big deal in professional relationships.

    Make it a teaching moment for all 🙂

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      Don’t people realize that they are making a very bad impression when they do these things? Is it so hard to write a respectfully worded email?

      I’m grumpy.

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  5. djiril Avatar

    It can be a casual greeting depending on the tone. That’s probably how the student meant it.
    It’s the lack of punctuation in the e-mail that stands out to me. Why would a student address a teacher with such bad writing?

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      While submitting an essay where the quality of the writing is central, might I add.

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      1. visitingmissouri Avatar
        visitingmissouri

        Even though I think this email influences your view on the essay was the piece itself of a better quality?

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        1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

          All of the writing at the Freshman level is appalling but this essay is among the better ones.

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    2. Pika Avatar
      Pika

      I agree, to me the lack of punctuation is the more offending thing. I would probably react by accepting this, but then telling not just this student but the whole that class (while looking at this particular student) that while I have accepted the essays that were sent it this time, in the future I will only accept those attached to profesionally written emails, with proper address, punctuation and grammar. Anything in textspeak will not be accepted.

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      1. David Gendron Avatar

        This is not primary school, people…

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  6. visitingmissouri Avatar
    visitingmissouri

    As I’ve told you before, I use the insights you give here to be a better student towards my own teachers. Personally, I’d never greet someone with ‘Hey’. Normally, I address people by their last name until they sign their own emails with just their first name. And even then, I’d start off with ‘Dear Firstname’. I find greetings way harder in English than in Dutch, though (because the rules seem less defined).

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      “As I’ve told you before, I use the insights you give here to be a better student towards my own teachers.”

      – I’m very glad to hear this. 🙂

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  7. David Gendron Avatar

    Bah, this is not great, but ey is just someone who wrote it too much in a hurry.

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  8. thevenerablecorvex Avatar

    I would never address any of my professors in such a manner (indeed, it took me nearly two years before I was willing to salute my own thesis advisor with “hi” rather than “hello” and sign off with anything other than my full name). However, it would seem that I’m rather more formal than most people on this continent, and my students have addressed me with “hey.” I wouldn’t get overly concerned about it; it’s bad manners on their part, but it’s not intentionally insulting.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      I’d like to have more people like you as my students. I dread this vulgar familiarity where people act like I’m their Facebook buddy.

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  9. David Bellamy Avatar

    The only time I can imagine addressing anyone with “Hey!” would be a case where I saw a total stranger drop something that looked important in the street (wallet, cellphone, etc.) and not appear to notice it. Even then, I would try “Sir!” or “Ma’am” first.

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  10. David Bellamy Avatar

    Thinking about this more, I realize that I do not mind being addressed as “Hey, prof” in an email. I do not like just “hey” at all.

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  11.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    My 15yr old daughter says that a lot of her friends use “hey” when sending emails. Maybe its a generational thing.

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  12. David Gendron Avatar

    In fact, I think the “It’s when” is more offensive! 😉

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      Yes, of course “it’s when” wins every single time. 🙂

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      1. David Gendron Avatar

        What is “offensive”?

        It’s when I read “It’s when” too much often! 😉

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        1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

          🙂 🙂

          I didn’t think I could laugh in this subject, so thank you for getting me to laugh. 🙂

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      2. David Bellamy Avatar

        When is the final exam? It’s when the registrar’s office says it is. They have not scheduled it yet.

        OK, I guess even this attempt would be better served by “It will be when…”

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  13. David Gendron Avatar

    At least, the main David finds some more appropriate use of “It’s when”.

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    1. David Bellamy Avatar

      I found a better one: When is the autumnal equinox? It’s when the sun crosses the plane of the equator from north to south.

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  14. Dame Eleanor Hull Avatar

    My syllabus explains how to write a professionally-worded e-mail, and that textspeak is not acceptable.

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  15. Cicero Avatar
    Cicero

    I think it probably just reflected informal writing rather than any sort of intended insult. I’ve noticed that a lot of people who grew up in the online generation seem to not see the point of formal communication. I guess growing up with tweets and facebook statuses has that effect. I found this out the hard way when I was talking to the father of a young friend. He actually asked me, “why are you talking so funny?” I was trying to be respectful — using complete sentences, less slang. I thought it was just the sort of language you would use in a letter to a superior or something of that nature. I didn’t realize it could be seen as condescending!

    I hope young people in this country will still be able to write English in 20 years. Of course, maybe that means people who can write out thoughts longer than 142 characters will have job security…

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  16. Ol. Avatar
    Ol.

    Same than Dame Eleanor Hull here. Here is the paragraph I put in my Elementary Spanish syllabus last year.

    “E-mail etiquette: E-mail that you send to a professor should be treated as formal correspondence and should always begin with a proper greeting such as “Dear Professor ______ ” or “Estimado profesor ________.” I will not respond to e-mails that simply begin with “Hey” or with no greeting at all; I also expect to see proper capitalization, spelling, and punctuation.

    In class, please feel free to call me by my first name.”

    Now if only my students read the syllabus…

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      Maybe I should do this, too.

      Like

  17. E (The Third Glance) Avatar

    That’s not the email you send to your professor the first time you’re talking. Perhaps after you’ve created quite a rapport and discovered if that is an appropriate way to greet said person. My response would probably be something along the lines of sending them a return email saying:

    “Dear xxx,
    Thank you for your email. Yes, the first paper was due today. This is a confirmation of receipt of your essay.
    Sincerely,
    Dr. lastname”

    And see what that gets you. Keep it really super formal, lead by example, and see if they respond in a politer tone. Sometimes you just have to show them proper email etiquette. 😛

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      If only that worked. I keep trying to show how a good email is written, yet every 2 or 3 days I get a message that is neither addressed to anybody in particular nor signed. I’ve been asking people both orally and in writing to sign emails, but it just isn’t happening.

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  18. Ol. Avatar
    Ol.

    I hesitated a lot before including this e-mail etiquette paragraph in my syllabus because I found it vaguely paternalist or condescending, but I just cannot stand “heys” and I do not care about cultural differences (whether it is more accepted in the Anglo-American world).

    And we are educators after all. We educate people.

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  19. musteryou Avatar

    “Hey” is the equivalent to “iwe” in Shona, meaning “YOU!”

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      That’s how it sounds to me, too.

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  20. musteryou Avatar

    Actually, I find that reflecting people’s attitudes is often the best, because they can’t feel offended if you are merely responding in the same tone as they are. Well, they might feel offended, but they are not in a position to say so.

    So the correct response from you would be a single word: “Yup!”

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  21. Kyle Avatar
    Kyle

    I had no idea that addressing people with “Hey!” is offensive in some cultures. Good to know!

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  22. Amanda Avatar

    I’m an attorney. I address other lawyers with “hey” both in person and in emails.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      What about a judge you never talked to in person? I’m not another student but a figure of authority for the students.

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  23. Z Avatar

    I actually don’t mind informal e-mail because I remember how it was originally: in elm and with the equipment of that day.

    But, is this offensive? Professors who are not familiar with common Latin abbreviations like etc., et al., e.g., i.e., and so on.

    This week I said “inter alia” in an e-mail and got back a question, what does that mean, and found this surprising.

    Then I said “n.b.” in another e-mail to another professor and got the same question.

    So who is unusual, them or me? I am feeling quite self-conscious right now. I have realized that in writing and in person, I say things like i.e., cf., etc., all the time. Nobody has never not understood before, i.e., they have always answered in a way that indicated they understood me. But, are these abbreviations in fact incomprehensible now?

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  24. David Bellamy Avatar

    If those Latin abbreviations are incomprehensible, it may be time for me to retire, much as I do not want to. I am offended when someone writes “frex” when they mean e. g. Another one which is useful is q. e. d. However, it is often written QED.

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  25. Kellen Avatar

    We routinely have problems with our new hires at work rubbing people the wrong way by starting emails with “hey.” So it seems that it is considered completely acceptable among college students, and not at all acceptable by anyone who graduated more than 2 years ago.

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar

      I also think that these students are setting themselves up for problems in the future work place.

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  26. sugs Avatar
    sugs

    Dear Clarissa,
    This must be generational, I’d never dream of addressing anybody with just
    ‘Hey’. For a first email communication I’d always start ‘Dear Clarissa..!’ Then move on to ‘Hi Clarissa..’ or ‘Hello Clarissa..’ If younger people are to really progress into the adult world they must learn how to use adult means of communication. Ok perhaps I’m being a bit tongue in cheek! I know it cuts both ways, but I took a degree as a mature student and already knew how to write proper letters, e-mails etc. Is this not taught in High Schools?

    Also ‘Hey..’ is only an American thing, not a general English speaking thing. I’m English so can feel generally superior about how to use ‘my’ language!

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