Asleep

Published by

Clarissa

September 21, 2012

All day today I feel asleep. Please don’t confuse this with feeling sleepy which I’m not. I’m actually very well-rested. But I feel like I haven’t been able to awaken today. Everything has this vague, hazy, dream-like quality. Everything feels a little off.

At work, I wasn’t managing to connect with anything. Time seemed to skip forward and backward as I moved around in slow motion. I ate some food but it didn’t have any taste. I kept planning to pinch myself to check if I was asleep but I kept forgetting to do it. I just pinched myself right now and felt pain. But that pain had a very unreal, strange quality.

It is highly probable I will soon discover that I simply forgot to wake up this morning.

In case anybody is wondering, I haven’t touched any alcohol or medication since August and any narcotic substances since before I was born. I’m not under the influence of anything. I’m just asleep.

If this post seems weird to you, that’s fine. What else can you expect from a person who is writing in her sleep?

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15 responses to “Asleep”

serenebabe

September 21, 2012

Beautiful writing.

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  September 21, 2012
  
  Thank you. 🙂 Let’s see if compliments awaken me.
  
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kelly

September 21, 2012

That’s poetry and if reads as if you are having ecstasies. I am hurting a lot and no poetry seems to be coming out of it. I am a no drinker and a no-user. I only hope that the hurting goes away.

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Evelina Anville

September 21, 2012

Are you feeling healthy? Sometimes that “hazy” quality can be a prelude to something more serious. Take your blood pressure and temperature and make sure you relax. Hang in there my friend. 🙂

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1. Pika
  
  September 22, 2012
  
  I noticed that I usually feel this kind of “hazy” for a few hours before I get migraine (and so it’s a useful precurssor to know when to take migraine medicine and prevent the actual headache).
  
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Evelina Anville

September 21, 2012

P.S. In a different note from what I wrote above, I think that a kiwano can make someone feel hazy too. 😉

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  September 21, 2012
  
  I don’t know, unless I bought the kiwano within the past 4 days. . . 🙂 🙂
  
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Sister

September 21, 2012

Well, since we usually have parallel experiences, I suggest that the reason is that I am in a different country adjusting myself to everything, including the jet lag 🙂

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  September 21, 2012
  
  Oh God, the mystery is solved. I’m jet-lagged, without even going anywhere.
  
  Well, thank you so very much. 🙂
  
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  1. kelly
    
    September 22, 2012
    
    I wish you kept your health strong. I have been traveling and the journey might not end soon. Or at least not as soon as I needed to find peace and serene strength.
    
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    1. bloggerclarissa
      
      September 22, 2012
      
      You sound sad, Kelly. I hope you are taking care of yourself.
      
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Wirbelwind

September 22, 2012

I know it’s kind of off topic, but I would like to know what you think about this, Clarissa.
http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2012/09/19/is-it-rape-if-you-dont-mean-for-it-to-be-rape/

On Feministe, people think (especially Jill and Amanda Marcotte) that a woman having sex with a sleeping man is not rape, more even ! He is just abusive and trying to guilt-trip woman.
I am interested what do you think about that.
P.S Comments there are priceless.

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  September 22, 2012
  
  I saw the story and the discussion when it first happened and it was very upsetting to me. The “accepted feminist position” puts a much greater burden on a man than on a woman to seek enthusiastic consent. I find it deeply disturbing that after publishing miles of texts about enthusiastic consent and rape culture, these bloggers are so ready to make excuses for this specific story. And that’s only because a man is victimized in it. This could be a perfect opportunity to discuss how this is one of the ways in which men are sexually assaulted quite often and to suggest that enthusiastic consent is a genderless concept.
  
  And, of course, the victim-blaming is just appalling.
  
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  1. Wirbelwind
    
    September 22, 2012
    
    My thoughts exactly. Articles and discussions like these strike me as “it’s okay when we do it” line of thinking… which is very dangerous for any movement. It erodes it and makes it a laughing stock.
    
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    1. bloggerclarissa
      
      September 22, 2012
      
      There is this underlying idea that all men always want to have sex with absolutely any women behind the discussion. Which, of course, makes the entire point of male consent moot.
      
      I find this approach barbaric.
      
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