All that’s missing is. . . “with services provided by women!”

I got it here.

* Want to bet that my blog hits will be soaring after I publish this post?

The most dreaded phrase I can ever hear as a teacher does not begin with “Can I have an extension because. . .”

And it doesn’t begin with “I forgot my homework. . .”

Neither does it begin with “Can I meet with you at 8 pm on Friday because I’m busy doing. . .”

It does not even begin with “Did I miss anything important?”

The most annoying, intolerable, hated phrase starts with “It’s when. . .”

“What is the Inquisition?”

“It’s when. . .”

“What is Tenochtitlan?”

“It’s when. . .”

“Who is Bartolome de Las Casas?”

“It’s when. . .”

No. It’s not when. This phrase should be banned from campus. We are at the level where even the question “What is a civil war?” should not be answered with “it’s when.” We should know how to say “it is an armed conflict between. . .”

Twenty-two “it’s whens” in a single homework assignment, people. And I have 16 more papers to read.

I keep seeing and hearing all these references to some anti-Islam YouTube video that is sparkling a lot of controversy but I can’t find said video anywhere or figure out what it is like. Does anybody know? Do you have any opinions on the controversy? Maybe a link to the video?

I’ve been away and then very busy so now I feel left out of the global news stream. These days, you snooze for two minutes and then you can’t catch up in a week.

I’m done with my service obligation, my Skype lecture and my regular lecture, and now I’m sitting here, feeling completely overwhelmed. I still have to give another lecture on the poetry of Juan Ramon Jimenez and have meetings with my independent researchers today.

The Skype lecture went great. I hope the prof who invited me to give it will come by the blog and confirm that it went well. The students were good, seemed interested, took notes. I’m very happy with how it was.

But now I look like what you see in the photo. If I don’t forget, tomorrow I will show you how I look after my psychological hygiene measures.

So while I’m sitting here uselessly at my service obligation, I will tell you why I felt the need to paper my office door with warnings not to come in while I give my Skype lecture.

Earlier in the semester, I was sitting in my office. I had locked the door because I was working on an article and didn’t want to be disturbed.

Suddenly, I heard a key turn in the lock. The door open and a women I’d never seen before rushed in. Without saying a word or looking at me, she approached me, grabbed my thigh, spread my legs, and reached between them.

I was completely unprepared for anything of the kind. Besides, I normally have very slow reactions. So I didn’t get a chance to say anything or react in any way. I was simply stunned by all this.

The woman reached for the trash can that was located under the table, dragged it out from between my legs, and left with it.

This was when I realized that she was our new janitor.

As you can imagine, I don’t want a repetition of this incident while I’m talking on Skype to a group of students in the state of New York.

I have so many service and teaching obligations today that I will have to cross the campus running (and carrying a big box) to make it everywhere I need to be on campus in time.

Since I run with the grace of a wounded rhinoceros, that will be quite a sight to see.

I have prepared well for the process of recovering from these insanely busy three days I’ve had this week. After I come home today, I will spend the night taking a bath, using my favorite facial mask and body treatment, and reading very trashy mystery novels I’ve been saving for a moment like this. N has promised to bring Indian food to support me emotionally and gastronomically. After that, I’m planning to watch a couple of my favorite silly Russian TV shows.

One of the most crucial elements of psychological hygiene is making sure that you plan a recovery and relaxation period after every busy stretch.

Take care of yourselves, people!

I’m preparing for a Skype lecture on the Spanish Enlightenment that I will be gibing to a students at another university later on today. The last thing I want is for people to start barging in.

This is from a conversation at Stupid Motivational Tricks blog.

At our university, we get to decide which percentage of our time we want to dedicate to research and service every year. 50% automatically goes to teaching and the rest of time has to be broken down by each faculty member. And then we get merit raises based on how well we fulfilled our own plan.

I think this is a great system because people can decide for themselves whether they want to do more service or more research each year and manage their time to serve their own needs at the moment.

Of course, the first thing I did in my very first year at this university was ask, “So what is the minimum amount of time I can assign to service?”

“To research, you mean,” the Chair corrected.

And then she got to know me better and understood.

From a student’s homework:

Some of the intellectuals who changed the world were Sigmund Freud, Socrates, Aristotle, and Carl Jung.

I swear to God, none of this is coming from me. I’m happy, anyways.

How come everybody suddenly got so civilized in this region? Where did all those students who thought Rio de Janeiro was the President of Mexico suddenly go?

In the same lecture, I mention that the CIA has recognized giving money and assistance to the Pinochet dictatorship in Chile.

“You mean, the CIA gave assistance to Allende,” a student corrects me.

“No, I mean Pinochet.”

“Are you sure?” the student insists. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

I offer quotes from the http://www.cia.gov to prove my point, including the following:

In the 1960s and the early 1970s, as part of the US Government policy to try to influence events in Chile, the CIA undertook specific covert action projects in Chile.  . . The overwhelming objective—firmly rooted in the policy of the period—was to discredit Marxist-leaning political leaders, especially Dr. Salvador Allende, and to strengthen and encourage their civilian and military opponents to prevent them from assuming power.

“This is ridiculous,” the student says in an accusing voice. “Why would we support a military dictator’s plan to overthrow a democratically elected leader?”

“Well, don’t look at me!” I say.