As planned, I took my department’s proficiency test in German at the end of this semester. I placed into C1 which is “an Advanced (or “Proficient User”) language level, as defined by the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR)”.

This is on the strength of 20 minutes of Duolingo a day and nothing else because I don’t have the time. Recently, I started reading in German but only did 4 reading sessions so far because it’s a busy time in the semester.

Of course, this is my sixth language, and it does get easier with every new one. However, this is an answer to everybody who claims that Duolingo doesn’t work and that you can’t become fluent in a new language in middle age.

My goal is to become completely fluent in German in the next two years. All it takes is consistent effort. If I got to C1 in 20 months, it’s definitely doable.

After I become completely fluent in German, I’m thinking of doing something completely out there, like Japanese.

Yes, I have. And I have concluded that not giving money to Russia, the last remaining big ally of Iran, would be more helpful to the defense of Israel than saving a few bucks on stolen grain.

I understand that the question was asked ironically but the unironic truth is that it’s very much on point.

I’m following the dispute over the stolen grain between Ukraine and Israel, and once again, I’m stunned by the tone-deafness of the defenders of Israel’s actions.

“We don’t need anybody, we don’t need anybody’s support or goodwill” is their position. I’ve never seen a country piss away so much goodwill and sympathy so fast and for absolutely no gain.

This is obviously not about the grain. It’s about the superciliousness that hinges on a fantasy that Trump will be president forever. Which is nuts as an animating general principle. Where’s the intelligence? Where is the long game? Forget Ukraine. I don’t vote in Ukraine. I vote in America. What happens when Americans start voting for explicitly anti-Israel candidates?

More excellent news, folks. UAE left OPEC. We truly live in exciting times.

In Spain, by the way, the number of young people who say they are practicing Catholics has risen from 31,6% to 45% compared with 2021.

The real improvement will start when Spaniards reject the constant buzzing in their ears about the Civil War and move the ef on already. Few nations have been as robbed and degraded under the banner of a very old conflict as Spain.

It turns out that Klara has been writing these letters and leaving them in neighbors’ mailboxes:

The Bible quotes are from memory, by the way.

I’m having a cuteness attack of massive proportions.

It’s hilarious that I’m raising such an American child.

The Duolingo chatbot keeps mocking me.

“I remember you told me you gave an unusual name to your cat,” it tells me. “What was it, again? I named my cat Misty. It is an easy to pronounce, beautiful name for a cat. What’s your cat named?”

“Misty!” I yell. “Misty is MY cat’s name!”

“Meestah?” the bot asks, sarcastically. “That is quite a strange name for a cat. You should have named it Misty, like I did.”

On the next day, the bot continues discussing cats.

“I have two cats,” it tells me. “They are called Misty and Meestah. My daughter Klara and I play with them every Sunday morning before church. Do you have any children? Or cats?”

Let’s take a break from American literature for a bit and talk about Japanese. Do you know any low-IQ people who need something to read? Strange Pictures, a mystery novel by a Japanese author who conceals his identity, is great for readers who suffer from medium to slight retardation. It’s written in very short sentences with many repetitions. There are little graphs explaining the most primitive concepts. Imagine explaining something veeeery slooowly to a very stupid person. And then doing it again. And again. That’s what this novel does.

It’s like that video of an African tribesman who is handed a bottle of Coke and has no idea what to do with it. He presses it to his ear, tries to blow into it. Uketsu is like that with a mystery novel v

It’s the last week of class, and my intellect is at a low ebb, so this novel wasn’t as annoying as it would normally be. Uketsu has millions of devoted fans which figures. Maybe everybody is always on their last week of class.

I was asked in the Q&A if I “had the misfortune” of speaking with an individual named RD. I won’t give his name because we don’t doxx people here but yes, I know RD. He has the fame of being difficult. But he’s always been mega nice to me, as people tend to be. 

I’m sorry if you had a bad experience. You are not alone. I’ve had people gather next to my office to complain about RD for years.

If there was ever a country unable to repay kindness with kindness:

Per information obtained by Haaretz, four shipments of stolen Ukrainian grain have already been unloaded in Israel this year. Another suspected ship – PANORMITIS – arrived at Haifa Bay this morning and is waiting its turn to enter the porthttps://t.co/BlginkiZB0

— avi scharf (@avischarf) April 26, 2026

For absolutely no reason whatsoever and exceptionally tiny economic gain, Israel is assisting Russian genocide of Ukrainians.

I can’t even say that I’m disappointed because I didn’t expect anything better.