In today’s most fascinating news story, I have entered my classroom twice, taught my classes, spoke in a quiet, polite manner to the students, and managed to keep my clothes on and my breasts firmly in place and away from the students’ eyes. Since all we hear nowadays are stories about naked, swearing, breast-waving professors, I think that this occasion where a teacher manages to get through the day’s work without any scandalous incident should be noted and celebrated.

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