Driving rules are hard! Take the following figure, for example.
I see no logic to the whole thing.
Does every single person who drives understand this shit? Because I find it completely beyond my intellectual capacities.
Am I stupid? This is a novel and I can’t say extremely pleasant thought.
I will be a fucking public menace on the road. Beware, people, you have forced me into this by creating a way of life where a person is turned into an invalid without a car.
“Beware, people, you have forced me into this by creating a way of life where a person is turned into an invalid without a car.”
Why an university professor like you would say something like that?
LikeLike
Like what? Critical of the US driving obsession? I’m a foreign-born professor who finds this kind of thing ludicrous.
LikeLike
So why you think you’re invalid of you find ludicrous (me too) this kind of thing?
LikeLike
Because I can’t get anywhere. I haven’t been to a doctor for a general medical exam in years. There aren’t any doctors taking on new patients in my town. And the town that does have doctors cannot be reached. And this is just one thing out of dozens. I feel like a freaking invalid who has to wait for her husband to take her to the dry-cleaner’s, the grocery store, the pharmacy, the post office, everywhere. I’m used to seeing myself as a strong self-reliant woman and now I can’t do anything without my husband.
LikeLike
Corrected:
So why you think you’re invalid if you find ludicrous (me too) this kind of thing?
LikeLike
Corrected:
So why do you think you’re invalid if you find ludicrous (me too) this kind of thing?
LikeLike
I can’t express in words how humiliating I find it to be in the position always to sit here waiting for The Man of the House to take me everywhere. And if he goes away for a conference, that’s it, I’m stuck until he arrives. I’m out of shampoo and until my husband can drive me to get shampoo, I’ll just sit here without. I also need to post a letter but I have no stamps. Again, waiting for The Man.
LikeLike
I feel your pain. I am lucky enough to live in a city in which I am walking distance from everything and fortunately haven’t needed a car. However, my state’s Rerpublican leadership has slashed public transportation funding and I can no longer get to work unles I am car pooling with people. It’s very frustrating and so now I’m learning to drive too. I LOATHE it.
LikeLike
Horrible. I was so happy to be one of those people who didn’t add to the pollution with a car but now I don’t have a choice.
LikeLike
I learned a lot of new stuff from your figures… 🙂
The way it really is, in most places, that you just watch who arrived to the intersection first, and it is on first come first leave basis. Do not expect other drivers to let you pass first just because you are to the right of them.
LikeLike
And C and D are just common sense. If there are no signs on the straight road, the cars on the straight road have no reason to slow down. So, if you want to live – yield to them.
LikeLike
Ok, this makes sense. I feel better about this.
LikeLike
Figures A, C and D are very clear. I understand that B is difficult; this is like a “first arrived then right” conventional priority rule.
LikeLike
“I can’t express in words how humiliating I find it to be in the position always to sit here waiting for The Man of the House to take me everywhere. And if he goes away for a conference, that’s it, I’m stuck until he arrives. I’m out of shampoo and until my husband can drive me to get shampoo, I’ll just sit here without. I also need to post a letter but I have no stamps. Again, waiting for The Man.”
That’s the problem with universities built in villages…
LikeLike
Another thing: I love to walk. Love it. Ilive for walking. But there is no place to walk around where I live. There is a small residential area but it is filled with vicious dogs that their stupid owners let run around without a leash and the dogs attack me when I try to walk.
There are beautiful walking areas but I can’t get there without driving. So I have to drive in order to walk. How ridiculous is that???
LikeLike
I know it can be somewhat confusing Clarissa but if it is any consolation, you wont be the only menace on the road. 😉
LikeLike
Strange question, but is there anything about deers on the manual? Because the first state where I got my driver’s license didn’t have a rule about deers, but the state where I currently live does: basically, that if a deer jumps in front of your car and you kill it, you can eat it as long as you file a police report. Amazing!
LikeLike
Oh this is great news! I love dear meat. Now I have a reason to learn to drive. I will be able to go hunt deer in my vehicle! I will slap the carcass on the kitchen table and yell, “Who’s the man now?” 🙂 🙂
LikeLike
So it is finally happening! Listen… as a terrible driver who had to learn how to drive at age 32 because I was in the same situation as you are now (and even worse) I can only try to cheer you up.
I almost failed my technical exam (one more incorrect answer and I was out) because I could never understand Figures A, B, C, and D above. At one point I decided not to try understanding these rules any more and to start driving instead. The only way I could *understand* these rules was by driving with a skilled driver with lots of patience and pedagogical skills (my wife… my dad… my younger brother… so shameful) and asking every very stupid questions that I had. As I learning how to drive I was asking questions about everything, every five seconds or so. Perhaps you should do the same with N.?
LikeLike
“Perhaps you should do the same with N.?”
– I already lost one husband after he tried to teach me to drive. I don’t want to lose this one, too. 🙂 As it is, I’m going through husbands like gloves. 🙂
LikeLike
You are so funny! Try to find someone with whom you will be comfortable enough to ask all of you questions. Mine were plentiful and very stupid. I am glad that my wife teaches in an elementary school… although kids at her school are probably not as dumb as I am when it comes to driving.
LikeLike
If your marriage survived driving-related questions, it is unbreakable. Another major test is teaching your partner a foreign language.
LikeLike
Also, figure A does not make sense. Vehicle A has to stop because there is a red light. It does not have to yield to any vehicle… just wait for the green light!
LikeLike
You are correct that the car has to stop because of the red light, but because the streets are both one-way, it’s possible to make a left turn without crossing any lanes of traffic. In many places, including Clarissa’s state, it’s legal to make a left turn from a one-way to a one-way on a red light if there’s no traffic in the closest lane.
In real driving, only the most impatient people would get mad if you just waited for the green.
LikeLike
I find figures and diagrams like these difficult to read and frustrating. And I have a little trouble identifying left and right, so figuring out who was there first in combination with who is to the right (to the right of whom?) is difficult for me. So, I am extra careful in intersections, sometimes to the point of boring the driver behind me.
LikeLike
I dunno, I love driving, because of the independence it gives me in the sense I can get myself to places without depending on anyone… unless my car breaks down and I’m stuck, though at least where I live I’m walking distance to grocery stores. The problem is the public mentality here is still based on the car, and thus unless you live in the heart of a large city your public transportation options are usually shit to none. And too many anti-public-transportation, pro-car people think grown, working adults have plenty of time to put aside to learn to drive a car (and money to buy one — I lucked into mine, but if I hadn’t had a friend who needed to get rid of a car extra cheap I’d be SOL).
I will say that if I had to deal with diagrams like that (no one can think of real world situations in terms of “person A and person B,” I refuse to believe they can) I’d never have learned to drive. All you actually need is to get in a car with an instructor and learn “hands on,” because diagrams will never do it. It actually took me years to accept the fact that you can turn left from a one way street onto a one way street when the light is red, but get this: you can’t always do things like that, it’s illegal in some states and cities!
LikeLike
A conservative literary critic and college professor
Clarissa's Blog 
Leave a comment