The Agony of the Double Standard

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Clarissa

October 20, 2012

When asked if they respect people less for having sex with many partners, American college students ended up in the following groups:

48 per cent: “Egalitarian conservatives” who lost equal respect for men and women they believed were hooking up too much (54 per cent of women surveyed fell into this category, compared with 35 per cent of men).

27 per cent: “Egalitarian libertarians” who do not lose respect for men or women, no matter how much they sleep around.

12 per cent: “Traditional double standard” holders who lost respect for women, but not men, for hooking up too much.

13 per cent: “Reverse double standard” holders who lost respect for men, but not women, for having casual sex with too many partners.

As we can see, the double standard is dying out. But the prudishness is still alive and kicking. Please notice that women are much more likely to impose and uphold prudish judgments about sexuality than men. This is what I’ve been saying for as long as I’ve been blogging and now we have proof that, as usual, I’m absolutely right. Sexual liberation prevents the traditionally-minded women from selling a few lousy sex acts in exchange for a lifetime of financial security. Of course, such people resent the sexual freedom of others because that freedom makes the goods they are trying to peddle meet with very little demand.

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13 responses to “The Agony of the Double Standard”

Leah Jane

October 20, 2012

“Sexual liberation prevents the traditionally-minded women from selling a few lousy sex acts in exchange for a lifetime of financial security.”
Oh snap! It’s so true! When you put it that way, it is fairly obvious that their sour judgements of “sluts” and “whores” is a bitter, twisted fear that they will lose their men (whom they only see as a meal ticket) to such women. That explains so much.

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1. Hattie
  
  October 20, 2012
  
  Hmm. I’ll ask my “meal ticket” how he feels about that assessment of our marriage of 47 years. I don’t use the words you have used against other women, by the way. And I am very aware of what young women are up against these days, too, thanks to having daughters and granddaughters and remembering what it was like for me when I was young.
  
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  1. bloggerclarissa
    
    October 20, 2012
    
    ” don’t use the words you have used against other women, by the way. ”
    
    – You should hear the words such judgmental folks use against sexually liberated women like me and Leah Jane. The kind of insults I heard in my lifetime – simply because I was sexually active outside of marriage – don’t bear repeating here. These insults always came from patriarchal women.
    
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twicerandomly

October 20, 2012

Surprising amount of prudishness. But I’m not certain you are right about your analysis. (Not certain you are wrong, either.) I read about the survey on HuffPost, where they said that 48% of the students were egalitarian conservatives (54% of women and 35% of men) and 12% of students held traditional double standards (6% of women and 25% of men). So 60% of both men and women were prudish, and men were more likely to hold a double standard than women. No doubt some women are afraid if men can get sex easily it’ll be harder to catch a husband. But probably some men are afraid that if women have multiple sex partners, then they’ll be judged on their performance. A knowledgeable experienced woman may be a little intimidating. Anyway, the survey doesn’t tell us anything about what was considered to be “too much”, or what reason students gave for their beliefs, unfortunately, as that would have made interesting reading.

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  October 20, 2012
  
  “But probably some men are afraid that if women have multiple sex partners, then they’ll be judged on their performance. ”
  
  – Of course, you are right.
  
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JE

October 20, 2012

Read any of Susan Walch’s writings on Hooking up smart? She more or less exemplifies that mind set.

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Steve

October 20, 2012

Prudishness or prudence? I’ve known enough people who have died of Aids (after passing it on to their children) to think that prudishness may have its uses.

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1. bloggerclarissa
  
  October 20, 2012
  
  In my country, many people have contracted HIV through the irresponsibility of doctors.
  
  If people want to promote safe sex, I’m all for that. But the number of sexual partners has absolutely no correlation with the number of STDs contracted.
  
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  1. David Bellamy
    
    October 20, 2012
    
    “If people want to promote safe sex, I’m all for that. But the number of sexual partners has absolutely no correlation with the number of STDs contracted.”
    
    The conservatives will say that that is not true. Strictly speaking, they are correct. People who never have a sex partner will almost never contract an STD. This is not a strong correlation, overall, but it is a correlation.
    
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    1. bloggerclarissa
      
      October 20, 2012
      
      “People who never have a sex partner will almost never contract an STD.”
      
      – One of the areas where the HIV infections have soared in the last decade is unfortunately the area of the FSU countries. The majority of these people were infected by non-sexual means. Many small children are infected through medical and dental procedures. Many people are infected through shared needles. When I was in high school, we were all vaccinated every year. I was the only person who refused to be vaccinated with the same syringe as everybody else and fought for a safe, new syringe.
      
      When I had my first HIV test, I almost fainted in terror in spite of never having practiced unsafe sex or pretty much any sex. I was afraid I’d been infected at a doctor’s office.
      
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  2. Steve
    
    October 21, 2012
    
    But the number of sexual partners has absolutely no correlation with the number of STDs contracted.
    
    Absolutely? Are you absolutely sure of that?
    
    Of course it is quite possible to contract Aids or other STDs without being promiscuous, as many married women who have been faithful to their husbands have discovered to their cost. It was the promiscuity of their husbands that infected them.
    
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    1. bloggerclarissa
      
      October 21, 2012
      
      Yes, I’m absolutely sure of that. Also, on this blog we don’t use words such as “promiscuous “.
      
      The number of partners cannot possibly infect anyone. Only the poor use of condoms is. And the sexually inexperienced are more likely to make mistakes in condom use.
      
      In the US, teenagers who are brought up in the culture of abstinence, have a much higher incidence of STDs than teenagers who are not.
      
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musteryou

October 20, 2012

You would probably find Australians to be much less prudish than their US counterparts. I’d also wager you could do a survey which would find a correlation between religious sensibilities and prudishness. Australia is a more secular society than the US.

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